Yeah, stick it up your jumper, Oompah oompah!
What do you think Mike?
It's very nice that!
oh it looks lovely!
It's got a
got a lovely little brooch.
Oh very posh!
Do think that's enough?
Come and
Barmow!
Bar plane!
Triggooms
Now that's enough enough of that rubbish right?
Two Two big-uns
It's got a recipe here.
Chicken soup.
Any carrots?
Pardon?
Any carrots?
Erm three.
aren't they?
Oh that 'll be plenty yeah.
Any spuds?
Four or five.
Four or five large spuds, one large onion three carrots.
Can you get the pressure cooker out while you're in there please?
Er plain flour
There's the pudding.
I think it might be fish stew again tomorrow.
No, pork probably.
in the morning.
Enough plain maybe he just tries it on and thinks if you don't say anything he 'll get away with it?
What else do I need?
Or do you think he's oblivious to it anyway.
Oh, he knows what's going on.
Anyway he wouldn't I know what he said about working Saturdays but like, you used your car as well and it wasn't just when you said that as well.
No, but when, when Reg car he said he might put his.
About, it's all about money and he says well sort it out and he agreed that we're gon na get hard and all the rest of it so I 'll just tell him!
I 'll just say that
No when he says when about working extra he said through the morning or something
Yeah.
didn't he?
Fro on a Saturday morning not
I 'll just say oh well we're working on Saturday
all bloody day!
bit like that.
That's all I 'll say i in the morning and if he says yes, I 'll say oh fair enough then.
But I said oh alright then.
Work till dinner time or something then, then we're going down, well I 'll go in my own bloody car the next time!
In front
I 'll tell him that he you won't be using your own car for work again!
No I 'm not.
And, you wouldn't mind but it was last minute that he rung up!
What a cheek he's got!
Call me then when you wan na do the meat.
Yeah okay.
Put the kettle on for a cuppa.
Yeah, I've put erm put the meat to boil first.
Mm.
Ain't got no batteries.
What am I getting, the spuds?
Oh I didn't tell you did I?
Before before you came home the white cat came back!
Was it?
Was that cos the back door was open?
Yeah, well I'd been out to the bin and er, he was just sort of erm by the ground by the bin bags the wood round the corner and er then he was sort of coming and he was like dying to come and have a stroke but
Yeah.
he was like being shy but he'd had all the side of his fur like shaved, and I thought urgh!
Maybe it's a it's been spade or something?
Or had an operation but there was no scare though!
It might have been in a fight or something?
Probably
Well it was it like a big square shaved right down to the skin but no unless, it could of healed and just not grown back yet
No.
I suppose.
Cos I don't know whether I don't know whether it's a she or he?
I call it a he but it could be a
So did you stroke it
a girl.
it in the end or what?
Yeah.
He he had he came in I give him a saucer of milk.
Actually I was cos I I had the back door open and I thought I 'll just leave it and if he wants to come in he can and I poured him a a bit of a drink of milk and er, then I went in the kit, in the bathroom and the door was still open and then suddenly I thought God I wonder where he was?
I looked through the window and there was no sign of him through the little back window, looked through this one, there was still sign so I thought God!
He can't have just disappeared like that, oh God what if he's gone upstairs and in the middle of the night
With us, suddenly!
I did!
I thought he might crawl out from under the bed!
And then I thought you'd shout at me.
Funny about
You did
that cat didn't come back and?
Yeah.
He was a big one!
But he ee mm.
No but this one must of just gone really quick, whether the wind frightened him cos it there was a lot, the fence was banging.
This looks red!
It's alright.
So don't be surprised if the cat does jump out!
It doesn't look very old though.
So I think that was the mother.
Remember when they had the sign in the window white kitten for sale?
Aye.
I think that was the mother.
Yeah.
My mum says I've got ta put this in didn't she?
Yeah.
Put some salt in with it.
Les has gone out to Do-it-all B and Q or somewhere like that.
What for?
Some tiles for the kitchen.
Mm!
Is he doing it himself?
Presume so, aye!
Mm, it shouldn't be too hard to do should it?
That's right Ian's got that tile cutter ain't he?
I had it, remember and I gave
Oh
it to Ian?
yeah!
It was quite a good one wasn't it?
Yeah.
Do you think they 'll be out tomorrow night?
Probably, I should think so.
Three carrots isn't it?
Yeah.
Or four?
I think three will be enough.
Everyone will be avoiding us like the plague if we take this there with us!
Just don't tell them!
Yeah, I've put that er rug in tomorrow.
Er we 'll buy them a couple of towels or something.
Or by itself it might be too it might be too big to have anything with it.
No!
I don't think, has it got bathroom ones in there?
Yeah.
You can stick them in now anyway.
Yeah.
Do it when we've done this.
Freshen it up.
Have you got the heater on in the bathroom?
No.
Why?
Oh it's this I can hear I thought I could I thought I could hear something.
God there was like a ra, I was on the computer today and there was like weeee really ringing sort of noise erm, I thought it was just you know, when you're ears ring?
Yeah.
And I said can anybody hear that?
Cos it was very high pitched and er Rob said aye I can hear it as well!
Must of been on one of the other computers and er it went on for ages and it was you know it's was irritating more than anything!
It might have been that thing that er that bloke puts in them.
In our paper
A virus.
Aye!
I du n no.
Anyway it stopped, I thought I'd gone deaf!
You what?
I 'm not doing these cutting this into big chunks I'd rather have lots of bits in it.
Well, don't cut them too small!
No, I 'm not doing them too small.
Well what do you call too small?
I 'm doing them like that.
That's alright isn't it?
Yeah.
Ah what was Jan saying last night?
She said she had her This is Your Life on and the
Aye I watched that!
Who was the feller?
Oh some singer man!
Some old er my nan knew it.
I turned it on while you were there then and I didn't know who the hell it was!
No, I didn't know him from bloody Adam!
But my nan knew him he was some top bloody singer years ago!
Oh!
And he'd just made a film and, we were watching something
Oh aye it's
and, was it David McCallum or something?
He's plays the detective that's chasing him er, in it.
And who 's, what's David McCallum been in?
Man from Uncle.
Is David McCallum.
Oh right yeah!
The one that was on Jonathan Ross a few weeks ago.
Well er, she said they had this This is Your Life on and Neil was in the room in the lounge like and he'd sort of been half watching it and then he said urgh mum!
He said he doesn't look a bit like he in real life what he does in that film does he?
In the film.
She said, you silly little git, he said it's an actor taking the part of him in the film!
He thought you know it in the film it was him!
The stupid slag!
She says, good God!.
You didn't mind not going to that pub tonight did you?
I didn't fancy going out.
No, I just thought it would of made Jan's night like.
It wasn't a very nice night anyway.
Er, see if it had been a bit more local it wouldn't
Mm.
have been so bad, I mean, I know it's not miles away but
Was it that little pub?
it was round you know as you go in say towards Ellesmere Port, well you know if you turn left by the
Strawberry pub?
no, by the Penguin
Ah!
and then keep going to that really big band of traffic lights and it's Sutton Way.
Ha have you been to Jan 's?
Yeah.
Oh aye!
You're going
You turn
down towards the M fifty three lights?
Yeah, on the old Chester Road
I know.
turn right at the lights and er, then take the first left and there's a pub called The Bull
Not as far as that chimney place now, no?
No, no!
No!
No!
And then it's the, it was the next pub down, I've been to The Bull with Jan before when we were on er you know, come home from Wigan or something when we were doing the counters.
It's like well it's all been done out but it was full of old croakers and you know an old man's sort of like the legion.
You know, we walked in there and you know how like when we're doing the counters I had jeans on and a big baggy jumper, we were the best dressed in there!
And the feller's eyes were popping out of their heads!
It's been the best bit of talent we 've, they've seen for a long while!
If I'd have Jan with Ben and we thought it was a new girlfriend.
I hope not.
Dear me!
I hate this job!
Well do you want all in bed I 'll go?
No!
I don't want her beating it and then have to pick all fat off it!
Grill a meal that every morsel in it is full of meaty goodness!
.
Just like Winalot Prime!
Mm, tender bites mum!
Yes er!
I like that woman I think she's got style!
Oh dear me!
Tell you what would be a good idea.
What will?
Check to see if your steak's burning!
Well something's bloody burning!
But there again.
I 'm gon na ring Nicola tomorrow have a Traggoon talk I think.
Meant to ring her today but I was
?
too busy.
Cos I was ringing her
She's been at work today!
I know but I was gon na try and catch her on her dinner or something.
Why didn't she go back home for dinner?
No, but like she might have a minute while she's having her din, the they're really busy you know in there!
Are they?
You wouldn't think it!
Yeah!
And, oh I didn't tell you this either that she was going for a promotion!
I thought he was going for the interview for the job
Sorry an audition thing she had, she hasn't got they were very impressed but she hasn't got it.
But she thought well it's been a good experience anyway and she tho felt that she'd played her pieces well erm
What was the audition for?
Was it an orchestra like?
Oh, I don't know!
Er oh I 'm jus I don't know.
But erm they did let her know that she hadn't got it instead of making her wait the four weeks or whatever it was
Yeah.
supposed to be which I thought was good of them really cos you know, it's nice to know isn't it?
Well
Well she wasn't too bothered it's all experience isn't it?
Mm.
But no, she's gone for this promotion in work and er even though she doesn't think she's much chance of getting it because there's two permanent lads there that really you know would be next in line rather than her sort of thing but she's you know, she feels she's done her bit and that, you know, it's worth going for and like I said to her you might as well!
Nothing to lose.
Oh no!
Er, you know, she might get it.
But she's more organised than these lads you see, whatever the duties are you know, she's got hers up and running and whereas they're still a bit you know haven't got it going as well as she has.
So er I says well worth a go!
In for a penny in for a pound!
She were just telling me one of her friends that sh when she was in
How did you get on at that wedding?
Erm well I haven't spoke to her have I?
Well your mum has hasn't she?
Ain't your mum said nothing to her?
She said it was alright.
Well what was mum saying erm
Well your mum won't go in until Sunday will she?
So we will be
No but she did say ah er the other day when we were up there she said ooh yes the very part of Kent she was at was where that
Ah, somebody was oh they were with the gyppos or something.
Oh that's it, yeah!
That was a good saying the other day weren't it?
Built like a gypsy's dog!
Yeah.
All dick and bone!
What was that on?
Oh, on Radio one listening with my mum the other day.
!
I thought, now there's one!
Ah dear!
Well don't burn that!
Yeah.
Be a nice quick tea then this for tomorrow won't it?
Yeah.
I 'll try and ru, try up Langley in the morning, I 'll get a do we need bread anyway?
Could do with one I suppose.
next door 's, he said we can get some anytime, get you one when we get.
Yeah but I 'll get a a crusty cob of
Ooh!
french stick or something.
Be nice with it!
We haven't had it for ages have we?
No.
Ah ha.
Is that hare or a rabbit?
Can pull it off this end?
There.
Alright!
How can you tell?
Longer.
Like your tongue!
Int chicken greasy and Oh you 'll have to give Tosh and Liz a ring.
Won't we?
Yep!
See how they're getting on.
Well that to eat all the meat today.
Was he?
Aye!
It doesn't seem long since, looking like Chris, just after Christmas it was!
I was only thinking yesterday when I was getting the thingie licence erm it seems ages since we've had a one!
Yeah, well they did because they all come in a quarter don't they?
They all start coming again now.
I know but like you sort of forget don't you?
Sometimes they seem like they're just coming all the time don't they?
Well they are!
What do you mean?
Well it's just like phone bill kind of thing.
Mm.
Oh I
Except for
Oh aye!
for the electrical bill.
Yeah.
And then it was the cu, we'd payed that and then a couple of weeks after it was the phone and then it was the gas!
Yeah I see what you mean.
And then you have a quarter then it 'll start with the electric, then phone, then gas again!
Yep.
Yeah, I see what you mean.
But they always around about Christmas time.
My mam reckons that the
You can put this through to soak anyway, this plate.
The what?
Are you chucking this out?
We've only just had it!
There's nothing in it!
Mm.
Nothing in the way of kitchens going begging, no?
While you're going upstairs get us a bottle of beer please?
Can't.
Urgh, all the blood off that meat is making me feel sick!
You know on that murder squad
Aye.
when it said the bottles had stuck to the blood on the carpet?
Well no wonder!
How many in there bottles now?
Get some more of this.
I don't, none I don't think.
Why, isn't there any left in the cupboard?
No, not the one.
You pest!
Let me just rinse my hands they're horrible!
Oh that looks fine to me.
Here's the onions.
Ah dear!
On a quarter?
Well at least up up to the top of that rim thing whatever it is.
And then we put two pints in it after don't we?
Where's the tea towel?
Do we?
Yeah.
I keep topping it up, we 'll have a oh if you you don't want a cup of tea if you're having a beer.
That 'll do.
Do you put salt in it?
No.
Who told me not to do it, put salt into the water then?
I don't know.
I 'm being a good girl!
Well how much of this beer's left?
About forty eight bottles I suppose.
God!
Thought we might have Joanne and Paul round over the next couple of weeks or something before the wedding pre-wedding, it's only about six weeks you know till their wedding!
I know!
Right, that's cooking, we've got those there I've got and Oxo, I've got the flour and that vill do!
Excuse me!
I vont, I vont, I vont a carrot!
If you're having a beer I 'll some of my wine!
Said to Jan, she said er today, er today she hadn't slept much last night I said God I 'll bring you some of that wine back we got from France!
Yeah yeah.
Eleven percent proof, I said so get some of that down you I said you 'll sleep for a bloody week!
Mike's been off today, it's been good!
While the cat's away the mice will play!
On annual leave the rest right this wants to go in for quarter of an hour doesn't it?
Yep.
And how much does it say on there?
Oh it says thirty minutes on there.
Let it have a good bubble!
Do you think I should put that rug in?
Yep.
Ah, I think I 'll leave it till tomorrow.
Shove it in as soon I get in from work I think.
spill water where you gone.
Well not one for here!
Mine probably will be!
Pick my wine up.
Ah!
Ooh, do you know what Jan in work she's she had a phone call she goes oh right yeah, yeah!
She come off the phone and she said, bloody hell she said that one of the rare times I go to the trouble of making myself butties for dinner, cos usually she gets a pasty or something, and I get invited out for dinner, you this Viv er, a friend of hers, you know the one that was having trouble with all that drainage underneath the
Mm.
house and couldn't claim off the house insurance?
Erm she was go, on her way to Churk or somewhere and said to Jan would you like to meet for lunch first?
And where does she live?
She lives somewhere by the Port, but she just sort of done a detour to come and have lunch with Jan.
It's a Port.
She does that now and again.
You know she's got a company car and that and sort of ri, scoots up and down.
Erm, so Jan had these butties, she said oh I made them lovingly last night, tuna, mayonnaise and onion and er she said trust Viv to ring today like when I'd made these butties!
So she said, will you have them?
I said ooh I said let me buy them off you?
No, she said you damn well have them and enjoy them!
So I said, ooh I feel guilty and all this, really rubbing it in and everything!
So I kept her one and they were absolutely lovely!
But the onion was so strong, although it was only chopped finely and er, Stevie went past and said God what crisps are you eating?
I said, I 'm not eating crisps, he said God I can smell cheese and onion or something!
I said says it's these bloody butties!
So when they'd come back I said yes, I said you know when you made me butties for tomorrow again she said yeah?
I said don't put so much onion on!
Bloody things are repeating on me!
She said, oh right!
I said don't put so much onion on me the bloody things are repeating on me!
She said, oh shut up she said!
I suppose I should leave that on full really shouldn't I?
Unless it gets really riled!
Actually Jan was playing hockey for Buckley Ladies.
Oh I know the ones, they're getting a or something?
Yeah.
Sad thing!
They've asked to play for them.
They play in kilts did you know!
Like, kilty type
What like pleated little skirt things?
Yeah.
Oh bloody charming that!
Look like a tart!
Well, not in a tartan?
Yeah they are.
They're not proper tartan but they're sort of like that.
.
Yeah.
They're playing Mold Ladies, with a question mark by them cos I don't there's a lady amongst them!
Right, those will do fine!
Just rinse that plate.
loads of talking.
Yeah, it 'll be alright.
That's all.
I told Rob about that place er, I told the others you know about the the judge m'lord?
aye.
It does rather I mean there's howling!
It's right though, it was in the paper!
He'd asked which paper it was in.
You were gon na say fax it up normally you should just say fax it m'lord.
Aye, that's what he might have said like before he could fax it up.
Won't he?
Fax it up m'lord Yes, it does rather doesn't it?
No, fax it up sounds better.
What are you gon na now with that that football.
Yeah.
And then I 'm gon na go for a shower.
Okay.
Will that be alright on four do you reckon?
Turn it down
Turn it down
a bit cos it might boil dry.
Oh it has!
That will do.
I thought you had to put the lid on it for, if you did it for quarter of an hour?
Well you can but I suppose it all the juices you know, have a better taste on than if you
Well it makes no odds really anyway!
That
Alright.
Ooh, I 'm sick of it! the election had already started couldn't you?
Well there must be something on.
Mm.
What time is it now?
Half five.
Right, this is the choice, News and Weather followed by the
What's this I 'm watching here now?
Channel four, what's on?
Train of Wars.
The Train of Wars.
Repo
It's not started.
Report on one of the most lucrative businesses around trainers.
Oh why the hell they've put Porridge on so late?
Did you se, the advert with er Ronnie Barker talking to that other feller and he says oh aye he says we were going through a really bad patch me and the wife who went to marriage guidance and Ronnie Barker says oh did it do you any good?
And he says oh it did her some good she ran off with him!
Have you seen it?
No.
Oh and er Chris was saying erm that film Malcolm or whatever it was called
Aye!
it was an Australian film that
Yeah I know!
and
yeah, well I'd sa, I 'm sure I've seen it before he's he goes and robs a bank with a remote control car doesn't he?
With a gun on it and that.
Right, Porridge is on twenty to ten L A Law on Granada which I hate!
Ooh I 'll carry on watching this and go for a bloody shower!
Red Dwarf.
Load of crap!
Oh I missed Countdown today!
Well I 'll tell you what er, Liz Taylor was on, you know the Oprah Winfrey show that you hate?
Liz Taylor was on it and she has lost so much weight!
Honest to God she looked so much younger!
Have you seen a picture of her lately?
You said, you watched it last week.
Yeah, honest to God she looked really nice!
And sort of, dead down to earth and everything and it showed you a clip out of National Velvet when she was twelve years old you know erm that with the horse in it and that?
And er, oh it was amazing!
It's a brilliant film that is!
With er, Mickey Rourke in it isn't it?
I think?
Mickey Rourke in what?
Isn't it Mickey Rourke?
Oh not Mickey Rourke!
Not Mickey Rourke, what's his name?
Something O'Rourke?
I don't know!
Not the young lad, wasn't a little feller!
Marti?
Mickey Rooney!
Mickey Rooney have you heard of him?
Yeah.
He's a little feller isn't he?
That's who I mean, not Mickey Rourke!
Who's Mickey Rourke?
He's that erm American actor.
What's he been in?
I du n no.
I know he's got like stubbly
Du n no.
designer stubble type stuff.
He's an arsehole!
Have a shave with a top still o still on a Bic razor, doesn't take the orange top off!
Gosh, isn't that funny Andy Mooney and I was just talking about Mickey Rooney!
Will they be in the Port tomorrow?
Bloody black and white!
It's not!
Oh yes it is!
Oh!
The trainer isn't.
Just to get the full effect.
Oh I was gon na turn this off
Mm?
Shall I turn this off?
I du n no!
It's not going to tape any telly is it?
Not really.
Is there something wrong?
No I thought she had.
She said oh no I just rang up for a chat.
Where's tonight?
Yeah?
Oh she's gone in the market.
But were they doing it were they?
Er, oh I don't know I didn't ask her!
No.
You don't try to
Well that I've got that right, that's the black.
Oh!
I, now the ones attached, not the ones they don't like, the older couple.
No, the attached ones that aren't
But but something about yeah.
What's it about?
I du n no, they're a bit funny, they're a bit don't wan na talk!
Yeah ta, yeah and Caroline doesn't like those next door
No.
anyway, the Yorkshire ones.
No.
Er I can imagine them being a bit like know all if they are
Yeah.
we're having a church and
The older ones is it?
Oh I don't know!
City
Yes, I know what you mean, that's right!
What do you mean the one with the taxi?
Well they're an oldish couple as well.
No.
Yeah, and they're copying them.
I don't feel er er either that way unless she thinks we're very better than most.
I would really like a camper for that room.
Chairs are too.
That one's almost boiled.
Would you like to stick the last one on?
Oh yeah I will.
Other than out.
Only when I say.
.
not there.
Yeah.
They're just the thing!
Oh, nothing too them then?
Wrote a good letter?
Oh aye!
.
And what's he wrote?
A nice
Yeah, yes and won't
Well
help us.
So you swore blind did you?
Make a very good.
I upset such a
Er yeah
I suppose he wouldn't need to comment on the letter if he 's.
tonight.
Bet he's told him his dad's supposed to do that.
No way.
Oh that in a spell of plastic glasses at the.
Oh no!
Oh!
So what's new?
Mm.
Well then on Friday night they probably get
Oh!
a hundred bloody people in there you haven't got no glasses!
Russell at the bar, in fact, he didn't have plastic glasses, he had no glasses!
I wonder if the is still working?
What glasses?
With the beat off to
Ooh but there's
He should pull his finger out and all!
It's not, the beer hadn't gone off?
But then I suppose well it's one thirty five for Fosters isn't it?
Mm.
They wouldn't, because it's only gone up a penny like, there's nothing to stop them putting it i, up two penny!
No.
But, it'd be one thirty seven so what they 'll probably do is
It 'll probably go up now.
just leave it
down here
and it 'll go up to one forty the next day!
You know the, there's ways to one thirty five is a nice round figure isn't
It's
it?
it's been in a week er
Yeah, that's true.
You might have to until he gets there.
Mould into the brewery sort of thing.
that's how it works back, yeah
He's overcharging course
quite.
he is, so he makes it up.
Oh yeah!
Yeah.
He just doesn't necessarily
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I think he's got most of them he's got ta
Oh yeah!
Uncle Charlie.
Back door.
Sherry, ah you're a witness!
I like to change my glasses.
Oh!
, this is
Oh no!
not be done to cook because of the sausage and that splashing.
Well what do they taste like?
Plasticy you should of done that plasticy thing?
as that?
Oh dear!
They were like.
Oh yeah yeah!
Jeremy bleeding!
Mine was lovely!
been to Harrods when we were on holiday.
Yeah.
A bit I suppose.
Really girly now int she mum?
You're telling me!
You're the one who was there and that muscly
I think you must of
gone with him to.
That Indian rug I had, I took down there.
Right.
Mike 's.
But I can do it for you.
I 'm sorry, I 'm not keen on blue things actually.
Shut up!
Got to lay the er
!
Small room Martine's just shows the er
Oh I thought she did?
He does nothing for me
Oh no no I
at all.
The update with Rodney ain't he got?
Rodney seen anything of him?
Well somebody told him something about Texas.
Have they been?
That was first free visit there.
I don't know, have they?
It's all in your time, sort of thing.
Who told you?
Are you gon na tell them about the naked.
Chocolate here must be.
What chocolate?
Tell them about.
I remember too!
about that.
No, not about the drink.
Don't she know?
!
Cow!
No.
You've had a good drink this week.
There's builders in.
Well you must of been gone mother.
We've been talking about somebody having affairs.
Who Martine?
And I could see that this she were telling me.
Do you know
Oh!
Craig just said ooh you didn't add to whatever he said!
Have you been talking to Glen or is it what Rupert, Rupert told you about Ted, he didn't know!
He would swim
Ah aye!
you know and
Look at that chest!
No!
He 'll you had he 'll you have the working for him
doing the chapel.
Oh!
And then
All what?
, I remember dancing and he could challenge him.
Yeah, I thi but he's on the local council.
Yeah.
Oh aye!
That is when you admitted
No!
Erm I take it we're we're going to the shops and you all
And Carole's coming down is she?
Oh no!
She's a horrible soul!
Do you still do do you
I don't want any er
Politics she told me, I don't want any politics around.
Can you turn it off?
Barred, barred, I barred him!
Ah you're barred, you're barred!
He 'll be doing it himself.
Isn't he silly?
And
Go on tell him mother about the V sign!
Not particularly in the shop, I don't think he pu meant, he meant to get you know cos he's
Why he was the one?
He told me you knew Phillip was there.
What did she do with the?
Oh she was the one.
Oh yeah!
I know he's been doing to this man as he's gone past so Harry sitting there the not saying you know.
That's awful!
Harry said you don't suppose they know who
what they are, yeah!
What do you want to do?
Might be worth waiting for this.
I think I 'll stop on a stool, I'd sooner stop on a stool.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Aye!
Your back!
Oh I 'm alright.
I never hear you say you have twinges in your back Mike.
Ah
Oh yeah it's awful!
Ah!
Every bloody day of the week I hear!
yes?
He does every day of the bloody week he does!
Oh I've left my drink!
You little rat!
Yeah, so er Harry sitting there but not saying anything, I don't suppose he even knows what it means!
Ooh!
He does, he said!
and he said what else did he say derogatory about them?
Stupid he said, meaning the whole lot of the's so you can see like they're all on the's side!
Bit of shock mam, that's stupid!
Rupert.
Where's he living now?
You know who Rupert is don't
Yeah.
you?
Manchester house man with the bag fat family!
The make, the sheepdog not ours, but the other men.
decorated the church
I, I don't know him do I!
and he said you know, he said they haven't been turning up at that chapel for them, when they've preaching but you didn't crack on they knew anything about that but he just sort of said said no you know remain non-committal.
And he said, you know they do alright at ten pound a time they have when they're preach in those chapels, now I don't know, I've no idea and good luck to them if they do!
Oh aye!
But erm whether they have petrol as well, Mr, cos he's coming from really when you think, so I mean I don't think
Your mum's as bad as Albert!
Everybody knows about that.
Not, Albert er God what was the other one from here that used to make the tea in?
Can't really remember.
It's that er oh it's you know,
Oh you told them this the other day when we were there!
Ah, well you were still like that.
Let's go for another time shall we?
No!
No!
I told them
Thank God for that!
I nearly got it but she said she knew she was just being awkward!
Well it doesn't have any bearing on the story
No but
whether I got a
No.
vivid description of him or not does it?
But we were saying like er you know, you're silly devil!
Cos as we know him you can't believe it!
And so the very next day Helen told us of a night time that he was gon na stay and early in the morning he come back door with some papers and I said oh take well it never comes to more than six pound ninety or seven pound fifty but he calls it.
Bu But I mean if you get it, a big box from the village shop like no wrapping on
.
then she same I don't know how long, I mean she definitely called it 's.
It's too that actually do some.
These she must take after them!
Oh dear, I said well give it some!
And if she and do you know what?
She never told me!
I didn't know she had this cold and she'd had it for ten
and she's never even so I knew it must be a bad cold, oh dear I said!
Well this upset Anne it was the day before when it had happened cos I, I don't think his mum and dad would like to think that he was causing aggro with that lady.
And whether he started it and what he said, like he was
you don't know the full story, she might have had a bit of a
Course you don't she's a little
before
you don't know, you just don't
As I know her I can't imagine it.
But, you never know!
What have they done to her?
Ask Peggy.
They've had to open a service for them, they're all getting their stamps
Yes.
or whatever she might have just said something in
Yeah.
and he's
Yeah but
and he's gon na blow it up!
She's but he's stupid to should of waited or
Yeah.
You know he shouldn't stoop to that level!
But, you know you could just George.
No, that's alright.
He said that's alright.
That's right he's asked to Peggy and they really are!
Just imagine George like, as you know George getting a shock, like he 's!
Hadn't got much.
And there we are!
Mm!
We 'll have to get off.
Watch this it 'll wind him up.
Pardon?
Got somebody.
It's er the inquest is at er
Oh dear!
into allsorts of trouble, they've had a family meeting, he didn't
I I I just hear it when never freed any more hostages.
Oh that's that's a terrible thing isn't it?
Although it's only really because
Yeah.
when a new chapel on that bottom road, where they're doing all the road works erm where that is the a the address is Glanberrys funny enough!
And even where
Is it?
Mary lives, on the corner, Mary and Bob
Aye.
where they were, their proper address is erm or something and er, But like, she's been ill, they're thinking of sell and having a and er
She 'll not first though, there's a load of them
Oh they have, yes!
and she fell over.
Of course they do, and I don't blame them because they really are.
They'd had a, he had to give evidence he said, you know because, I mean he said a few days previously so they, financial problems as loaded as the family are nobody come to the rescue!
But I was mummy's best
Bloody type your!
Well yeah!
And, but I didn't buy it!
She part of the family
he was the one who could, he was the one who could afford some!
And and people can't get over him!
Mm.
He's still kept his but he's got lived in, all the property he owns he can have the town square, there's nothing!
It's all right to the insurers you know!
Oh I suppose he's invested it wrongly or whatever I don't know I I can understand why they didn't come to his rescue, you know, I mean, they've got their livelihood to think about and he was a bachelor where as they've got children, or and he's brothers and they're
Oh!
all farmers and all got their own families like er surely he had a fairly good shop when he.
I know but family's like blood's thicker than water.
Family is still
Ooh I know that!
family.
Mike, I agree, I 'm the mother!
Mm.
That's what I said first, I said ooh they'd had a terrible job!
I could just see if she wanted to adopt
Yeah.
me couldn't I?
Ooh yeah, cos she is on her own.
You really are mother!
Oh, I 'm feeling old!
No, too ruddy.
It's just bloody don't think!
Ah!
I said it looks a bit too small, fifty metres.
Doesn't it?
Cos a lot will be meeting, even in the bar!
Mm.
All in that corner, all in.
do you?
I 'll let somebody with a cup of coffee, especially if they've got ta drive.
Well I 'm not that sure really.
You one again?
Yeah same
Yeah it's that.
But really
Depends on how long you've known each other I mean fifteen years and you've only just!
Ooh!
So that.
now though, what did you think of the damn?
They pay a perfectly.
Aye, listen here!
Where?
And you'd just had a plastic cold just the favourite because for our Martine and pull her along in it.
I mean,, she said we'd have to give, I said oh I said, we used to, guess what I said?
Of course we didn't know them like we used to wear them.
So she said that big girl! oh I think I 'm getting it so I said, but I know you used to talk about it, and I said here we go! and her I didn't know the others, but Tom said one of the other things is a it's this girl, but I said no she's got a and then she said and I, and I thought that's a big, I didn't know!
A little tiny three year old, oh I misunderstood didn't I?
Yeah, you said, that's Mrs's boy, but she said I thought the two big ones wherever
she said no, she 'll have it she thought about me, bu but but er she said it was a funny!
Wasn't it?
I said what I didn't know!
She said it was.
Ooh yes, I said it's very funny on a Friday night!
Cos we didn't know whether to clap
But nan says that er, the were, the wasn't
What?
as good.
Nan said.
Did you go
The Friday night they went.
On the, on a Friday.
Said it wasn't as good as when we and.
Yeah, you've just got ta laugh!
She said er that erm
She said to Susan will it be better than?
Big fancy does are you?
yeah!
Being diplomatic!
Yeah.
Erm, no what was I saying, she said?
!
What are saying?
So what was I saying, what was I gon na say?
So?
Breathe in!
Ooh that was it, yeah!
The rear engine ooh she said the the key's in Ken's house and we all sat we didn't know whether to clap or get up and walk out, whether she'd finished or not!
Ooh, I said!
Well I said, what's the finale?
And I I said, he said ooh yes, the two girls come the alley on their own this is the their birthday cake ma, and I really jumped I said, cos we were right in the front, I thought what the hell's he doing! but what they were dressed in and she said, so I said, oh yeah well I didn't like it that I don't know what's wrong cos all the time they did.
It was a show Starlight Express?
Oh!
She said so I said, so they did do that?
Ooh yeah, she said!
I said, I 'm having a couple of days I said, oh they're different a but she didn't know row of them.
She said, she said and then the thing ca came down and this get up and walk out I said go back and get them and get Joe to take them.
No, she said it was very poor of them!
I I and she'd never said a word!
Oh I said, well she had to say something gave the three back, get her flowers and er chocolates or something and the same for his mum.
Oh no, nothing like that she said.
She said er well they came to us in the interval and Con was just like, I thought she 'll call me when Sally has gone, Sally had their address, she'd just you know, she was gon na be in there and Con said, look, did you look at that dress she said, whoever makes them!
They don't put sea, they don't put hems on them!
I could see
Yeah.
her shoulder!
It is a.
I said to them, well if the woman is, she doesn't fit!
But she said, look at that I run up with!, well remember that because she wants a dress made well it's disgraceful!
And she used to do them all, I mean, machine hemmings and and finish them off as she calls them, you know, so Con, oh yes she could of.
Oh!
I said that will teach her to what for for saying that!
That film is not.
Well!
Oh, but she's only a
Yeah.
.
Yeah, did
But
you ever
well they 'll only recent
There was a film on B B C two
it was on the Welsh
I wish, I know
Is it about the Mafia?
black and white.
Terrible yeah!
And they had a little
You're talking of one now.
Ridiculous that isn't it?
Erm ma yes er
It's been advertised
that is er
all the week what a good film it is.
Oh it's a film
I went on, we 'll watch that we 'll erm
What was it?
A film you know, six o'clock film.
I put it, put it on, B B C two and it was that Gordon on the, on the box.
It is annoying though!
But DEF two was the DEF, you know that
Typical!
You silly git!
What?
Forget it!
Did what?
You didn't bring!
DEF?
It was D E F, DEF it was like, like the
Well I didn't know about the DEF!
I wouldn't i, oh you just told me you did!
Who says?
Come on you blo, you're boring me now!
What were you just gon na say now?
Er on Friday Mike was talking to Rob Rob was at dad's so Mike was standing talking to them, but my ears still flapped.
Oh!
and er, Mike said er, oh yeah, he tried to straight away at it, I 'm interviewing this afternoon well that was it, my head was straight up!
We go two lads there with hardly any work on me and Jan are alright now we got a third person Graham hasn't got much on and er Ri Richard's scraping round for work, so of course my ears pricked up like so I thought, Mike sensed that I'd looked up and he looked at me and er so I just looked back he said God, God had never invented a woman with small ears!
I said listen, I said if it's private I said you should be in the office!
So Rob's laughing and so so er I was going like that then you know a bit, you know, a bit er, exaggerated going
Yeah.
like that with these
Oh you got a, you're not exaggerating a bloody!
So erm
Like the!
So anyway, I didn't even hear anymore what he said after that, after he said this like so I was messing about with Graham
Aye, aye aye oh!
Don't bury them like!
Shouldn't bat an eyelid.
I was that shocked I couldn't he myself!
I 'm interviewing, the stupid swine!
They've got no idea what so ever!
So, anyway, I must have been downstairs doing something and I don't ne sh sh I didn't know what time this interview feller was coming only, that I was downstairs and I heard Tracey say, oh what's his name then Mike?
Patrick, and I can't pronounce his surname!
So, I thought ah, so she was saying what's he like?
What's he like and, he's got ta go past me before he has, ee just messing about so he says I still didn't give it any more thought even though he had foreign surname and I thought, yeah didn't think of it.
So er da then the next thing I was back in the office so Mike come out would you mind making a drink?
Er, I 'll have coffee and er so will Patrick, whatever he says I said, oh yeah so I said oh does he want sugar?
yes, three sugar, I said but do you want milk, does he want milk?
Yes, he wants milk.
So anyway, we started talking about him, they're doing a survey and er and suddenly it must of been a quarter of an hour later remember the the drinks, I haven't done any drinks!
So er I said right, quick does anybody else want a drink?
And I went down, and come back up with this tray of drinks and er Mike screaming, and I still hadn't seen this feller I give the other drinks out, well when I went to take his in well he was as black as two o'clock in the morning wasn't he?
He was what?
Black as two o'clock in the morning!
So I said to Rob
With a name like that!
I said to Rob it's a good job he's coming in daylight or we 'll!
What did he say to that?
Yeah!
He's on the nightshift.
So Rob said then er, something about it's a good job you didn't say how do you want your coffee black or white!
Said yo you'd have had to send.
But er so what the hell position he's gon na be!
Oh, what did he, did he last?
He really looked young though!
Yeah.
Oh!
About Mike's age I would say.
Twenty six
Twenty three.
think he had as a bouncer or something.
Yeah.
I said he was quite young looking, about Mike's age!
Oh, I thought you said not young!
No, I said he looked quite, about Mike's age!
Oh!
But you know, he was built like
Yeah.
with this big bum.
More like a!
But you have to he looked real smart, you know?
Yeah.
And er, I walked, I said oh hello er, cos Mike had just gone, he'd gone and er, I said oh one coffee there for you, he said thanks very much it's most generous of you.
Ah!
I take it
Did he have big lips?
know what they're playing at!
Mm.
Did he?
Oh!
Well just sit!
But erm
I 'm used to taking like his lips are sticking to the window!
That's a good one!
Oh!
Erm
He er
yeah but, I don't think Mike's that er, I mean I di, but he does Manpower forecasts every year.
Er and he comes up with x equals y z and all the rest of it!
And we're still really.
The man's a complete nerd!
Never mind.
So you got what you wanted didn't you?
No.
Did you see that programme last night?
Aye, what?
B B C two about the stolen cars.
No.
Oh!
Bloody hell, the things they get up to!
You know if you buy a car that's been, like it's been pinched or something like that?
But you buy it in innocence.
Yeah, buy it in innocence and if it's been robbed the police confiscate off you you get a piece of paper saying that they've got it, and that's it you've you've got nothing!
Go on!
And the insurers
Well that's what happened to
don't have anything to do with it!
Siobhan's dad!
Yeah.
Yeah, was the rest they'd have to pay or
It was, he's still paying it off now for his car!
Oh!
Mm.
But er
they were on about that they ship them abroad and th, they were interviewing a lad in London he said oh, he used to get up in the morning and er go down to the phone box and phone this contact they know and he'd tell you what cars you wanted pinching this day and they pinch them to order!
Oh yeah how many would you say you'd pinched in year?
He said, well, he said there was two of us he said working together and er, I'd be look out for my mate or he'd be look out for me, he says erm ooh, between five and six hundred a year, he said they pinch!
Ooh!
Ooh!
Oh!
I said and they.
Cos easily it was a co couple a day!
Yeah.
Yeah.
What
said, you know how, how did you get into them?
He said, well let's put it this way he said I can get into a Ford and start it without breaking any windows
He can do?
yeah quicker than I can with a key!
He didn't say what he did
Oh no!
but he said, a Ford he said, I can break into a Ford without breaking any windows and start the ignition
And quicker than someone
quicker than anybody with a key!
Good God!
But he was a a reformed now he was helping other people ge get away from pinching cars like in a they have like
Rehabilitation.
you know, rehabilitation centres they.
He said, what we used to do he said
Did you see his face on that?
Oh aye!
Oh yeah, he wasn't
payed for his crimes and he was
and they said er
How old did he look now?
He wasn't old was he?
No.
Twenty four, twenty five.
Sometimes, he said we used to take them motorway he said to junction whatever at Dover and they'd be somebody waiting there with the money give us the car we'd go back to London and they'd just take it up the.
Well in the Kent, where the is.
Ah!
Where you have to have a
Yeah.
that little village where Nicola went to the wedding gypsies involved in that ring.
Up there?
The gypsy camp they've
Aye.
arrested six of them all they found all bits and bobs off hundreds and hundreds and thousands of pounds worth of cars, and four wheel drives they specialise in and off to the continent with it.
Yeah it's all organised, it's not like like the gypo's will be doing like this
Oh yes!
Yeah.
this is all organised bloody down to!
Oh yes, all yeah!
They handled something something like a thousand pounds worth of cars that
They did.
place where they they were like getting er ones that had been smashed up, and doing and they said that the people that are doing it are top people!
You know, they could get a really good job.
They'd have made a fortune!
Not without them garages!
Like, like panel beaters and
Doing it make a make a fortune doing it
Legally.
legally.
He said they're doing this as well.
Oh!
like you got your your chassis number and engine number and everything like that
Yeah.
and you've a number inside the car as well on the bottom of the car on the floor so er some of them no, they don't so some of them take the mickey of them and putting different plates on of a written off car from a scrap yard so you can have like a brand new Sierra smashed up in a scrap yard and you buy it for like a thousand pound and you this Sierra with a brand new Sierra, so you change all the plates over and do all this on the car and then you got a bloody Sierra worth about nine or ten thousand pound
Ah dear!
brand new!
Sure!
And you've paid a thousand pound for it, so he's making all this profit all the time!
Dear!
And the the police were just showing, you know
the ways that they do it sort of thing.
Some of them
Oh yes!
just get the plate and er like stick it over with a bit of er filler or something like that and stick it over the top!
And, people are none the wiser they, if they can see it
Oh!
they go aye, that's alright, but the only way you can tell you'd feel a jagged edge where they put this plate.
On the underneath or something.
Or some of them they cut the whole floor out and weld a new take the floor old car and weld it back in again.
Good
He said, and the police said
!
as quick as we find a way, to catch them they think of something else
Yeah!
they bloody do it all the time!
Oh they do!
Yeah!
And then it was saying about the ones where they take the front end of a car and joi, match it to the stolen
Joining it, yeah!
one, like the one that
Yeah.
Fell apart in Manchester.
There was one in Manchester wasn't there?
The Renault five turbo going down the road and had a crash and it split in two didn't it?
That's it.
And they all bloody died!
Remember you telling us that.
And er said about it's a regular and er they're doing it proper, they're putting them on jigs so they're welding them and they're out of line and all sorts!
Oh!
And they were interviewing this feller, he said, oh we went for a day out he said and I'd just bought this car and I was really made up with it he said
He wasn't a crook this man?
He paid
Oh no!
two and a half thousand for this Fiesta
He paid two and a thousand for this car, whatever it was!
I was real made up!
And he's travelling along the road and the next thing there's such a bang and it wouldn't go any further!
Bloody!
So he got out and he looked underneath and the drive shaft had fell off so he got it towed back to the garage wherever this garage was and they had a look at it and all the head were loose you could waggle them about!
And then he thought, this is queer so he picked the bonnet took the bonnet up like that and all the bloody front of the car had come loose and all all the welding
Oh!
had co come loose!
Bloody amazing it was!
So he said, you know you can't claim anything off the insurers or anything, so that's all his money
No,.
straight up the bloody road!
And er the police, that was in Kent somewhere, the police weren't it?
Cos only so many police forces have got a certain group of men on the you know, sorting all the cars out and you can take your car there
life
er
being like
you've just bought a car or you've got a car you can take it and the police look over it to see if it's alright.
It's a bit late when you've bought it though!
If it's been re-registered sort of thing, so there's a big line in cars all.
And the police engineers go round with his mate and he's looking at the engine numbers and the chassis numbers and all those bloody numbers inside the car and he's looking like and er the interviewer said oh and this woman's in for a shock!
She's gon na find out that the car is stolen!
Oh!
So she comes back and she had an Orion erm she sa, she said er oh well erm I got some bad news for you, said er your Orion's two cars been welded together!
Oh no, she said you're kidding aren't you?
No, no, it's right I said erm the back end is such and such a registration Ford Orion but the front end's off a Ford Escort!
Ooh hoo hoo
And you know she'd but
They're not even the same car?
She'd lose the bloody car then, she'd lost everything!
Ooh gosh!
Bloody hot it were!
And what did it look like?
Oh it, it was smart it was nice!
Yeah, what have they, those people who are waiting for the police to check it out, the is it?
No they haven't, they'd been bought a car that had been like, that it sort of been written off and rebuilt or something like that.
Yeah.
They knew that had been when
Yeah.
they bought the car?
So they thought they'd have it checked out?
Yeah.
Oh I wouldn't buy a car like that, no
The D V L C, if you have a written off
would you?
they 'll re-register it as long as you can prove the year of the car, they register it
Oh, I see!
as that year.
But, the registrations if they can't prove it properly
Yeah.
you get a Q plate on it questionable registration.
Oh!
So the D V L C don't look into it too deep they just send
No!
an engineer have a look round, oh it looks alright.
You wouldn't want one that had been in a smash anyway, it could
Yes!
be false.
But you some people who you see will take that gamble
And then there was an inspector from the
Not always, not always impressed but he was er
Yeah.
you know, I know you're saying.
Oh, I play heck about them I
But
know!
erm I remember when I when we had the smash in Liverpool with the Zepher
The old Zepher now, yeah
and er I went there and they give me an estimate and erm when it went in the contacts she does was er no, it's it's more than we thought because the chassis's twisted or
Mm.
something so, anyway I went there I can't remember all the details but
No.
I I went there for something and my car ooh I think it was and we had, you know
Fair play, yeah.
we went to town
If I'd
Yeah.
if it, if if I'd have taken it to er body repair
Well they couldn't of done that cos they hadn't
Oh no!
got the
Yeah.
equipment and all that had they?
and if he could find the he wouldn't of!
Kirby's is the?
So you'd have been running?
Aye.
Yeah.
It's an old family firm
Oh aye!
they're all out of it now.
Yeah.
What happened in this smash up he was talking about?
I was pregnant with Nicola, ooh it wasn't a smash as such, you know, it wasn't serious thing.
I was pregnant with Nicola and it was that we wanted to change the car, what did we have, a Metropole at the
No, we'd just bought it.
yes, I know that, but I 'm just explaining how we come to be in Liverpool!
Yeah.
We'd go we been to.
We'd gone back for something for them to do something to it, it is the Metropolitan.
Oh yeah, it's the Metropole, for this er Zephyr.
this white Zephyr, and we got it from Liverpool, Wayne's Drive in Liverpool, a big garage.
And, we had it the one with the gear box.
Yeah.
There's a big Ford dealer in Liverpool.
They would said what they would do well they did everything while we were there
Yes.
and said and they come back
And he said
from Liverpool
wait a bit, and they said so, they looked at it and said we'd have to take it back in a few days time for them to do, they couldn't do it there and then.
And, when we were driving back towards the tunnel, do you know Upper Parliament Street?
We were
No.
you go right through the tunnel and this Queen's Drive was ooh, about a mile or two out of Liverpool so to get back to the tunnel you come down Upper Parliament Street, I 'll never forget to my dying day, and it was down hill and these traffic lights down the bottom should of been should of been, but they weren't operating, they were digging th
they were digging the road
ooh, they weren't there alright, I thought they were just out of order cos it was road repairs and a policeman was supposed to be on duty because it was this great big wide Upper Parliament Street, and going across it, if I look at Liverpool
Was there, did you do Upper Parliament Street?
Mm.
If you say it again I told you!
.
I don't know what the road that goes across it was, but another great big wide road running across it
Lower Parliament Street maybe?
across it, Lower Parliament Street was the other side of the crossroads!
Was it?
And, I was prattling on to your dad, saying when we claimed it back when we claimed it back we 'll bring it early but
What you want?
Oh, he's so ignorant!
I don't know want anything!
Well I've heard this story!
I was there when it happened!
they wanted it early, I don't want anything!
Do you want crisps?
Nothing!
Nothing?
Ooh, okay!
I 'll have a wine thanks?
And do you want
Medium white wine.
crisps?
Could I have some cheese and onion please?
Pint of Stella please?
Yeah?
Yeah?
A pint of Stella?
Yeah.
No crisps?
you were going on about that
they said
you're bringing back that car.
when we send it back in a few days fitting, this job I says we 'll want it early in the morning and you can have it in the afternoon, but we were going to spend the day in Liverpool, but you're dad said, I 'm not being round all those shops all day, so I said ooh no!
And it was me, and I was due to have Nicola the next month, at the beginning of May that the and I said no, I said!
But what we 'll do is take it there early in the morning, we 'll get he back the bus back to Liverpool, we 'll go to the pier head and we 'll go on the ferry to New Brighton and there was me prattling all on at him and the next thing er, you di, we didn't know that, we thought we were on the main right of way street and your dad started to go across and I looked, your dad was driving, I was sitting beside him and coming towards us along this other road, which had the right of way but we didn't know was a little black mini, I was a ergh, ergh oh Harry, Harry!
Bashed your dad's side, the wing and we could see a policeman putting, it was pouring with rain and he was putting his er, big mac on and he should of been directing the traffic, he told us that, he come over to us and he was only young like and he said, oh I'd just left, I was on duty here I'd just left to go and put my mac on!
Well that was no consolation to us was it!
So we swapped addresses with er, can't remember, it was a man middle-aged sort of man and er he then said ooh, well he said I still think that we were in the right in as much as if that policeman was supposed to have been directing traffic blah blah blah blah blah!
So, because we were in the A A he said you could have a ba, and we had to go to court, we had a summons for court, for careless driving, your dad and your dad said oh so A A said you could have barrister, or our insurers said we could have a barrister our insurers, not the one with we're with now Norman, he was to do all the, said we could have this barrister and it was at Liverpool Crown Court and, it wasn't till a, and I was alright we we just got a bit of a shock, you know, we could drive the home it was the wing and what not.
But, I can hear that bang now, you never forget a noise like that!
But, this was just a bang, sort of knocked
Ah.
it of the chap, he reckoned.
So, er Nicola was born and er the court either came up just before your dad had the after Nicola was born, when she was a month old.
Now he might remember I think the court come just before the after Nicola, and the car was going to because I know we had to go on the train to Liverpool and er, I'd got ta give evidence as well, they made such a palaver!
And, when we were in the court sitting in the corridor waiting, ooh, some horrible types there even then!
This policeman was having to give evidence and he'd come to talk, oh I see you've had the baby, cos he was talking to me it had happened I said, oh what did you have blah blah blah, blah blah blah, but the little devil went in the witness box, he denied about not being there on duty about putting his mac on, ooh and he'd never clapped eyes on barrister or a solicitor and they said he 'll meet you before the case, so we had to go extra early meet this barrister and he never came and so they took us in this little room in all his wig and his gown, we got, oh what happened?
What happened?
Yeah, and we explained and said that I was pregnant at the time and we said about the policeman, oh no trouble!
No trouble!
But, the lot, you're dad still got fined!
I took, it was nine pound we thought, lot of money in those days for careless driving!
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we never forgot that.
Mm.
Yeah, I I
on the old.
So, needless to say I don't like them, but I 'll show you on the A to Z where Upper Parliament Street is.
Mum.
Not Upper Parliament
And we will see.
?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're being
Excuse me!
funny are now?
Well don't worry.
actually, but I said I wasn't really interested, yeah.
I 'm gon na look, I doubt that cos I want to know
I've seen it on the map, I know!
where the other one is.
Er
It's not
How did T V work go?
Yeah.
Well, he 'll never know really will he?
No,
Don't know really.
What is it?
We didn't force it, said they 'll
How many time
probably let you know.
No.
Mm.
The only time I remember her, really was in.
Yeah.
Pushing him!
Playing about.
got stuck
A man got stuck
In this car
Oh!
in the.
Shall I make a move, or shall we
No hang about!
We're gon na come back.
Yeah.
I always say it was that
because they say that
they blame
if can go away but then it can just strike you!
Mm.
And then it gets in with a vengeance, when Nicola was a month old didn't it?
Yeah.
So how long were you layed in?
And he was just
Were you in hospital for all
For a month.
that time?
No.
I told you had to lie on a board
Like?
Yeah.
You had to lie on a board, his doctor said, oh it's lumbago which, all the signs are the same, where that pain goes all down your leg effecting the or mia, sciatica and have to lie on a board, and we were in the prefab then and you actually er not, like some people put the board are you interested?
Yes.
, and you're looking everywhere!
some people put the board under the mattress and dad had it on top!
Well your dad had it on top!
Didn't used to really, ooh it must of been murder for him when you think!
I mean, yo, he even decided to grow a beard, for one thing he couldn't be bothered shaving, did you remember?
And you had that!
No, beard will have to go!
Yes.
I know he said he looked
really lovely with it!
It was very dark indeed
I
I must say.
I think we've got a picture?
No.
Did you ever know that?
On the line, there's them panel people on there?
And that's when I had the accident on the.
, I was gon na tell
they had to leave him there in hospital.
Have you li I was listening to the wireless this afternoon
Mhm.
and it was on about this erm place in France, isn't that where one of them lived?
No, it was nearby there wasn't it?
There was big football team from Saletiendi
So
Etien no wouldn't, doesn't
It was near to er where Gigi was I think.
Oh the one
No, the other one
wouldn't of thought
I thought, near
I thought it was
Anyes.
Yeah, could of been if there'd been any Romans in Italy.
I know.
Should of got the extra ladder.
Even er, Lanyon isn't on is it?
Yeah.
Well it's not that much detail is it?
No.
Where was that place they took you on er
We could do with a lot more
Ponsonshow
Brest, is Brest on?
Gigi took you to Brest.
Yeah I know.
There you are.
Christ, so what, I can't think of it!
Primaletta
Oh dear!
Jan's mum won er midi hi-fi system!
Oh, when?
In a raffle thing the other night.
Alan, Jan's friend was singing and so was her brother.
Oh, I didn't know they did other things!
Is he good at that?
Yeah, I think he's got a good voice yeah.
Yeah, do they sing together or not?
No.
So where was it, a club or pub?
The White Swan in Ellesmere Port, she'd asked me
Oh yes.
to go.
You want, you know, so I definitely wanted to go, we were very
Yeah.
welcome and, I was tempted to go, I mean Mike wasn't all that bothered.
was he?
Well you've been to a singing one.
Yeah, Thursday nights and, it wasn't that local, it's a horrible man anyway!
Who's a horrible man?
Yeah!
Cor!
Once I get in from work, I 'm knackered!
Unless you see one local or
If it had been a summer night
That's it, let's stay.
could of been tempted.
Be different, you don't mind a little run do
Well.
you?
That was
No, I know you've got ta up
just a bad thing to do in n it?
early, like the next morning.
No,.
So er we didn't bother!
And er, she was saying!
Yeah!
They must have sold a lot of tickets.
Was it for a charity?
Yes, I think so.
Was her brother to do it, Jan, he does a bit of really.
Yeah, he does a lot of charity work.
Oh, yes totally.
Yeah, good luck to them!
Anyway, they had a good time out.
Did they?
And anyway, you'd come hadn't you?
Not that we knew you were coming but
Oh yeah!
it was Thursday night you'd come.
That's it, yeah.
But anyway erm erm Laura, isn't it,?
No, he's a bit rough!
Oh ho
Cos he!
no, and any case I just remembered Nicola's was only hundred and sixty.
Mm.
So but it was, oh it was nice drive
Oh aye!
where can you get one, fifty or sixty surely not?
Well, no you can, aye!
You?
Yeah!
May not be a very good make but
No.
Oh, you can buy a cheap ones with a just a tape on without the
Can you?
Record
and record player
Don't have to have a C D on them
Anyway, she said
to be a midi thingey
Oh no!
Well Nicola's
I don't know what it had on it.
hasn't got the C D anyway.
Our Jan's getting fought over at the moment.
Why, was that Birkenhead thing that she'd had the nark with Mike was it spontaneous?
I don't know.
Oh you never did ask her.
Ooh aye, what them bloody cars
Well what somebody there who's fighting over her
they were in er
then, no?
No.
Oh!
No, I don't know what that
Is it Southern Spain
connection is.
Oh!
the Spanish police and er
I thought she'd and just wasn't telling me but anyway
insurance investigators in Britain.
Mm.
she didn't.
Serve you right, you should
pa
have asked her there and then!
is a like
Anyway, go on, what's happened?
on the main road
Oh she'd got her
and anything with a foreign number plate they were
Yeah
pulling over
she had a bit of fling
especially the British ones
with this woman Sandra, she
and erm
Has Sandra got a child?
They were just stopping
No.
them and just
Oh.
taking the details
chassis numbers and engine numbers and everything
Oh somebody with that parking on the drive
and er
she is the one like
insurance etcetera and i, investigator whatever he was!
Half that's the food shop
Yeah.
And he's calling the D V L C in Swansea
Oh very few.
they normally just
no, remember like that
and this woman was in her
as far it goes.
a little O Opel
No, she met on Thursday
whatever it was.
for long.
Mm.
Little maroon Opel, B registration
she's older than Jan I think
So I took all the
Yeah.
the particulars, he'd get on his mobile phone
I am actually.
But you've never met her?
and erm
No.
oh it was er
and erm and she used to lived in, she doesn't wan na come via it.
whatever it is, oh yes that's er
Oh!
He goes back and he says I've got some very bad news for you
and I can't remember what, the last time we were seeing each other it
Oh!
all ended in tears, and I can't remember why
well, this Opel isn't an Opel!
Well what is it?
But erm she did the dirty on Jan!
It's a Vauxhall Nova.
Was she ever re-married
You're kidding?
or you don't?
No er
I don't know.
it's a silver Vauxhall Nova.
But anyway I've and ten o'clock Jan was.
they bloody changed it all about so that the, O, little Opel, was a Vauxhall Nova!
she has seen her, Sandra once in the club
Erm, so what happens now?
I think.
Oh erm
Yes.
the police are typing
Where is it?
a thing up they 'll have to confiscate the car!
so her results.
Been
Oh!
stolen!
Yeah.
And
For Mick, for Mick as well.
Yeah.
And they had that and a
And Sandra has gone live with Jackie.
Toyota Celica, black
Were they on holiday?
No, she was living out there.
she had a
Oh I see!
House out there.
just bumped into each other
So it's
by purpose
she had
Yeah
and went to with her pal
and er
he was gon na thump her.
it was just they had a big warehouse
just full of bloody cars that had been confiscated!
I think Jan wants to
There's was thousands of cars, cars that were stuck in there.
and she was like fighting!
Some little cars there was Range Rovers
running round to the
Was
everything!
when Sandra's mum got
When they've got them
and so oh you really rocked the boat
What do they do with them?
she said and, I didn't realise
They didn't say, they didn't go into it.
Well sell them.
Aye.
you know like, I love you
You know they don't sell do they?
Oh!
So the
Erm, she just knew
Yeah.
she just bought it somewhere and er
They can't claim money for these.
That woman I said about that had the
and er
she was in an Orion but the front end of it was a Escort
she said I've got my life sorted out, settled into my new home
the escort that it be
and er
it belonged to the i, the numbers
I wan na see you all this.
Can you meet me on Monday
So the chassis number engine number for this Escort
and they
Oh!
chased the feller and he phoned him up and he said ooh my
Oh well
car's still parked on the drive outside!
I think Jan
So they were investigating him then!
Cos his car was still in the drive outside.
All this.
Well bloody
Oh!
But they do it the other way as well.
She's gon na lease it int she?
Oh yeah.
You 'll give it in
It
the car.
Oh, I said well I don't know.
He pinched a car in Italy this is a Ferrari
she said er
Testarossa
can we have wo, can I word
it was worth
Mr
hundred thousand pound in Britain
it was
so I knew it'd be something like that
it had been shaped
she said
And they paid
up to them?
No, so she told me that
it was on a car park at Heathrow Airport
So erm
Why, do you think she wanted to make a point of she might have at work for
and it had all the paperwork with it, it was gon na be shipped to Singapore.
these?
Because she didn't want go she didn't know what hell
Well the same car in Singapore was worth two hundred thousand pound
Ah!
to do and this Sandra was gon na ring in the afternoon, well she wanted to
cos there's such a long waiting list, tha that's the value of it out there
get her out
it makes you laugh!
so they they pinched it and got a buyer out there!
And she's got ta I've said to her, listen my opinion may be biased.
and they caught him, you know, mid-way type of thing.
I don't
Yeah.
think I 'm being
So th
much help, she says oh no, you are
you are!
Yeah.
I du n no.
And I'd like to you to hear your side of
Ye ye yeah.
things so erm, I knew it was something, anyway so she said all this, I said right well I said I 'll tell you now I said you know I 'm biased because
Yeah.
I said I can't I don't like so
No.
and erm she said, oh no I realise that.
I said, well the important thing is Jan if you are like this you obviously didn't like, there's no way I 'm going to meet her you're obviously thinking it over I said so the first thing you've got ta do is turn up on Monday and meet her cos erm, then well you 'll know.
And erm I said, you say to me things like you don't wan na be alone by yourself
Yeah.
and sometimes
Yeah!
Course, yeah!
and er I said you've al also told me that Sue said there's no way she's going out with him on the at forty I said that's only two years away.
Oh, she said that oh it doesn't matter!
I said I don't believe that!
No, I know but she said it er
but I mean to even think of it, you know, is not very nice!
Shows how wicked she
Erm
is.
I said you know what she's been like with this young girl at college you thought
Yes!
there was something going on, whether or not there was, I don't know I said she couldn't in a couple of years time, she said I du n no, she says she's only twenty six
Oh is she?
said it wouldn't make any difference to her you know whether
No.
it was a relationship with a feller!
She might wan na go off and do her own thing so erm I said you just think on, I said, this woman has got her own house and everything, she's got
Yeah.
no hassle like
No.
er like Sue's family.
Jan can't go round there
so
now
and she has to park down the road!
Ridiculous my watch!
I don't know what they're showing!
Two hairs past a freckle we used to say in work er, school!
Can I have a swine please?
Yeah.
Do you wan na lager bitter
No
lemon?
nothing at all thank you Michael.
Put a drop of lemonade in er bitter please?
Right.
What crisps do you want?
Erm, I 'll have two bags of crisps and a bag of nuts please?
No, thank you I 'll have my supper when I get home.
Five loads of bacon butties.
So, I said this I said erm I said oh Jan says something all I 'm I've known what Sandra can be like, you know erm you know well I was with her for three
I don't think she means that.
weeks.
Yes.
Well, because she did the dirty on her in Lancaster, I can't remember what it was.
Yeah, oh I see what she's means, yeah.
No but er
Got plenty of stick.
Did you those girls
Oh!
sending their mail to erm Body Shop er, they'd been grooming their nails because they've heard that the Body shops, in the paper the other day erm are paying ten pounds per nail if your nail's an inch long, you know, so you cut this talon off if it's an inch long and they had loads and loads of them sent in envelopes or people just ringing up and asking can we send our nail, ten pound a nail and they said, where the rumour started from these people had heard that because they don't do erm experiments on animals any more they're using nails to do experiments, the nail polish and that
well I was saying for experiments and that, don't you thing, just listen to what I 'm telling you was in the paper!
And er, so they sa put an announcement in the paper to say don't keep sending these nails to us cos they go straight in the bin, we've got no use for them!
They don't know where it's come from, they have never have done and they never will.
Well we we, you know if you cut your nail you cut the top off, even if it's
Yeah.
that long it's like that.
it's for this it's not
Mm.
it doesn't have to be a
Doesn't matter.
whole nail to do experiments!
You don't
It doesn't have to be a nice shape it's just that so that if the nail polish doesn't
Course it doesn't,
your nail or anything I suppose.
Oh!
Christ you are thick!
So anyway, she said oh yeah, so I know what Sandra can be like and I've been with her
Yeah.
for three weeks!
Oh!
And I said yes, I said you know what Sue can be like, you've been with her for twelve months and you're daft enough
That's bloody true!
to still be there!
Yeah.
Because she you know, she comes in with
Yeah!
all these sob sob stories and she's still with her!
Oh!
So I said, you go and I said, don't be as biased as I am I said don't go there thinking oh there's no way you know she's I 'm better off with Sue and all that because I said you don't know I said you
Course she doesn't!
give her the benefit of the doubt and give her a fair chance.
Mm.
So did she say she's made her mind up?
She said yes she said
you're right.
And did she ring?
Yeah, she's meeting her up the Tavern.
Where's the Tavern?
In the dip at our by the
Oh!
traffic lights.
In the daytime for lunch?
No, cos Sandra's got a little puppy she said oh I'd like you to come and see the cottage and er my puppy.
Do you wan na come and see some puppy!
Good, come and see my puppy little girl!
I said to her, you know what I 'm with animals
Yeah.
and that, I said go to the Tavern I said doesn't matter whether you see the cottage take the little puppy for a walk.
Oh!
God!
Said it 'll have been in all day.
Oh gosh!
So er I mean I think she'd be more suited to somebody
Sue.
like that
Well I'd have thought she did.
erm than this damn
yeah.
What about er and is she gon na fit the cottage in as well when she meets her on
No, don't know about that.
Another time perhaps?
I mean, he's also from Ellesmere Port anyway.
What was that?
But I said just go and give her a fair chance and I
Yeah.
said and er
Aye!
I said if yo if you think you know that you might be able to build a relationship I said then er you know, tell her so I said and don't try and run the both of them at the same time I said
No.
or it will end tears!
As we were clearing up he said oh good God whatever did I see in her!
Yes.
I said well only you 'll know.
Or whether you scared him after to death!
Well play it by ear that's right.
That's it.
I said then all you have to do is tell her how much she hurt you the last time
Yeah.
but that you have
goal
forgiven her but don't
Yeah.
bear any grudge against her, but you don't want her
He wouldn't care would he?
He used to do the same everyone else!
her ringing you or, or doing anything and that's it, and then you've been straight with her, you're not
stringing her along.
Well you wouldn't would you?
I said, but if there is any doubt in the back of your
You can!
mind
Bugger them!
do you think that you
I would!
could have a relationship with her.
No, no, no, no!
I said then you've got ta make that claim.
Yeah yeah, there's obviously
Yeah.
and er
you've got ta get rid of Sue, but I'd miss Linda!
And you put twenty
Yeah, for a little while.
And she wouldn't play
Yeah.
And she wouldn't play in goal for us any more!
It depends on what, how you'd done them cos how much would you get done?
I said, listen!
Mm.
I said in five years
time when you're forty five
Win a few.
Aye!
er in seven years
Didn't get much look!
And they start saying they would do it to people now.
And seeing her
yeah.
she was ye er aye
when you're forty five
Oh yeah!
she won't be any use to anyway!
And you are just completely
What, oh aye no.
miserable!
I mean it could of been a lot been worse than this!
because you haven't got any one!
Aye, there's one in bloody
Yeah, but will it give you satisfaction to leave
Did er, if I go to this place
to leave instead of me?
on the the
Well at least it kept the hockey going so can and see clearer now.
So what are they gon na think?
I said, alright so they
Couldn't see how they do it all, and that's it.
cos what she said is if she
That doesn't bother me.
finishes this
No, no.
er game
Erm cos sh sh
she won't play hockey for them so all the hockey girls
what used to bother me at one point
will turn against
but
her.
That's alright!
if I went into it Bob
No, I said, and do you think, how
a
long do you think they 'll
a week that's all.
remember that?
Said, alright, I said the first week said the first week I said, then it 'll
all blow over and in fact
Yeah.
none of even bothered at all.
I said, but if you're willing to sacrifice to keep all them lot happy I said and you'd call most
but from their point of view
of them black a lot of the time!
erm
Yeah.
They're none of your
Yeah, but we I mean
Mm.
because
I said and finding this out when you're by yourself
what they were go trying to tell me was
it's not gon na give you any pleasure to say, oh well at least all the girls are alright.
Yeah but and, you know we're talking
I said you're gon na be by yourself I said, for God's sake start thinking of yourself!
my height, I didn't even look at it that way er, he used to
Well they're all
Yeah, they are aren't they?
So
I said it's about time you started looking after yourself and not bothering about!
Well problem is they can't win can they?
Oh!
No, you couldn't, she they're all, they know it's Jenny's asthma.
She's too nice you know, she's tries
Yeah!
to be nice to everyone.
She does.
I was it was asthma wasn't it?
Yeah.
Shirley?
Not too bad.
She's on one of these inhaler
Oh
things
they got to?
These little kids on them aren't they?
All the time!
You know there must
It was on telly about them weren't it?
They reckon they're gon na find a cure for that.
there must have always been asthma.
Oh aye I saw that!
Yes, well I hope they do anyway cos I think it
Mustn't there?
must be awful!
There must have always been asthma whether it's
Oh yeah!
whether it's got worse with amount of
No, but people have died through it through le ye years
Yeah.
we we
Oh yeah!
You know and they 'll through
ol old lady across the road er
From you?
from Home and she she died and er, that wasn't spoke of.
Yeah.
Cos she'd had a
Oh yeah!
What like, little kids!
But these, th it's escalating with little children it's either
Mm.
er
Du n no I'd say a fair.
the merest bit of bad chest they have doctors are either saying it's asthma or the mother is er, saying it's asthma and saying to the doctor can they have one of these or whatever
Yeah like little James.
or it's
Mm.
the pollution in the air or whatever
Mm.
he didn't have to have one of these.
Yeah.
No, but every whenever his chest goes he's
Aye yeah.
straight to the doctors and that isn't he?
Yeah.
I suppose you would be wouldn't you?
Oh yes, I can
Mm.
understand that don't
erm
get me wrong I'd be getting a bit
but I 'm sure's he's gon na be like that.
Yeah!
I 'm sure it's because he's prone to that.
Well our Susan when she was small she was the same.
Was she?
She couldn't have er she couldn't have a feather pillow.
Good God!
She was allergic.
They, they thought of everything, oh have you got a cat, you got a dog, you got this you got that?
Yeah.
And in the end it was a feather pillow.
Good God!
yes!
But now she's alright, she had a feather of pillow for a couple of years it's like
Yes.
a bloody now!
She had to
!
Yeah.
so, you know
She sleeps with ducks now!
Oh well you've got to laugh!
Cos it is that sort of thing isn't it?
Like hayfever and eczema and
Aye, well she had hayfever when she was small
Sometimes you're good
you know a couple a years and she's never had.
Honestly, when I really really understood.
Well Nicola didn't use to have hayfever when she was at.
No, she got it
Yeah but
she got it when she was doing her A levels didn't she?
Yeah!
You know at
Yeah.
the a exams and that, that
Ooh you've seen me grow out of it now, what you
Well go on!
talking about?
Well this thing on her hand.
Mole.
Oh she did grow out of
she has, for her!
No, she hasn't!
She was almost twelve months
Oh no she was!
twelve months ago?
Yes, and twelve months
months.
ago she slid up
Oh good!
the way and she was in Manchester.
Erm
Was that thing on her hand er
That's like
Yeah, that's a
She said, she thinks there might be a little well did you see Mandy when I tomorrow I just wanted for you to go
Didn't you ask?
to the doctors, I forgot!
When I came off the phone.
I can't quite
understand the
I think she's right saying that er er watch that off
Yeah, but if you took the watch off it should stop.
cos I know.
Ah, I
Yes
don't think it 's.
well I think it should, but on the other hand
What's she on about, those little digital watches with the metal strip?
I don't know which ones, you know.
Er
No, if it's something like that, if you take the irritation away then it
Should show up.
it goes.
Yeah, I'd agree with
Mm.
that.
I don't wan na
Yeah.
lose that.
Well no
Cos I used to think it's this hand isn't it?
Where it, I used to think it might touch on this
But it doesn't?
but it doesn't because it's
Oh no!
miles back.
You know yo
Always used to have it on her wrist.
Did she?
Yeah.
Oh, you told me
That
that before!
Did she?
Yeah.
And was that eczema?
Ooh, God I can't remember
No.
And what did she
and
used have on?
she used to, bu no, she us used to have one if she used that and she used to have to bandage them
Oh!
to go to bed at night.
Well, if you're in your sleep you're
Well that's it, of course!
And she used to bandage them tight
Did she?
and she can still
Aye.
in her sleep get her fingers down
They can, they say that!
Yeah,
Yeah.
And I I was only bloody tiny then but I can still remember it.
She used to wake up in the morning they were red raw both of them!
Ooh!
Ooh, that's so sick!
even with these bandages on, just like
Yeah.
I can remember the bandages being on.
Good God!
She'd still get her bloody fingers in there though!
Does Nicola say hers itch her like that?
Yes
Yeah, she
at night, in bed everybody goes, you go worse for itching
Mm.
in bed, yeah, it's terrible!
But she never makes it red raw.
No.
She doesn't re, you know
Still sore.
she 'll remember scratching, it was like she said everything goes worse at night, itching.
Well, would you mind telling me
To do with her whatever nerves they cause them that cause itching.
Well it 's, you know I've never had that and you've never had that.
No.
And you've not.
And I've not.
Why should she?
Oh no!
Well I think she could be right about it starting off as that, I don't know.
They start off somewhere in families these sort of things.
It's not like the washing powder or something like that, they reckon you said it's just you know
Well that's what they said.
you're cuff's tighter than
Mm.
anywhere isn't it?
Yeah that's what
rubbing on
She ke, I said and when you're washing up and that
Well surely it's the both of us?
or rubbing things through washing
Mm.
I don't think you 'll ever really know.
keep rubber gloves and she does, she says so she doesn't think it's detergent.
Would you mind telling me what the connection is between eczema and asthma?
And hayfever, there's three of them.
What's what is er something of the skin got to do with
All allergies, all allergies.
Yeah, but they're not really the same
They say.
are they?
They say they're connected
They
but I can't when Jan was saying, oh Jennie's got as er
Yeah.
ex
She's got the lot.
eczema very bad er, her legs are like corned beef all behind her knees and her legs
Yeah.
and her elbows and erm all over her really she has this eczema, she's always having to change creams cos they
Yeah.
get like er
Used to them.
Your body gets used
Mm.
to one sort, and they 'll never cure it Jan doesn't think.
No, they won't.
They can only contain it
Yeah.
control it.
It's terrible it is!
And er
Well that corned beef, fetch us a quarter in on Monday mate!
Erm
Are you hiding?
But like, so she's got that now that isn't, that's just like a somebody with a skin
corned beef.
but I can't understand how they can say that asthma is in, really in the same strain because that's more like a breathing
Yeah, but it's what causes the
Yeah.
be, breathing problem is the allergy either to the dust in the air or the mites
Oh.
or the as they say, and asthma's sa, the same hayfever as well in the
Mm.
summer.
It's true, well isn't it
That's with hayfever in Southport weren't she, after feeding the horses hay?
We went to see them horses remember? bloody screaming!
This last time, even in this weather!
Yeah.
Yeah, well it wasn't hayfever, she was allergic to the horses wasn't she?
Hay
No it was
you can only have hayfever in the summer can't
Well
you?
I don't know, she said
But
it was hayfever, remember
we asked, yeah.
when we went to them horses?
Well some people
Ah yeah!
call it that but it's an allergy.
Oh, I never told mum and dad that I don't think.
Tosh arranged for us to go and see his.
His daughter
Oh!
does horses, she seemed to be
very good.
His boss
Ah!
Mark, the main man
Oh!
his daughter and
the last time when you
Yeah.
went?
Yeah.
And he took us to their house
Is he?
and you should see the house!
The ma main man?
No, he's not that sort of main man is he?
No, it's it's it's no, he is aye, he's the director!
His big brothers run the firm.
Yeah but it's not, it's not his name it's not his name
No, no, it's
after, the the firm.
no it's whatever, it's Andrew and
Yeah.
Colin.
Oh aye that's where the.
A, that's A C, I don't know what the M is, I don't know.
And this man wasn't Andrew that you went to see?
Andrew and Colin, not Andrew.
Oh, I see I thought you said Andrew?
No, Andrew a one brother's Andrew, the other one's Colin and they're the partners in the firm
Yeah.
so it's yeah.
And you don't what, they're surnames Mac something.
Well I don't know.
But anyway, this girl no, they're surname isn't anything, even similar to that!
No.
Because they're name is!
Yeah,.
Oh it might be Michael and Andrew Co, then.
There you are!
It's something like that, it 's.
The ma, the name MAC, yeah!
Yeah,
Michael is it's it isn't!
Because when he told me their name was I thought of a girl I used to know called Louise, but it isn't her
No.
but apparently she was you know really goo, you know like the
Ah, they had the money to buy they had every they could afford
They were loaded!
anything!
Basically, like but she was must of been such and such champion, I mean I didn't appreciate probably how good she was, sort of thing because I 'm not in their show circuit but probably she was the you know, one of the top
The highest one.
Yeah.
of her particular area.
But, I mean, even if erm she was saying about going down to Olympia and stuff, weren't she, or somewhere?
Yeah.
The, that horse was British
So she must of been good.
champion, whatever this bloody horse was it was something
Yeah.
stylish!
British
She had
champion at, whatever it was at.
Where did they live, in Southport or
Yeah.
outside or
Yeah, it was erm you didn't have to go that far out but they ha they owned a bit of land and stuff
Yeah.
didn't they?
It was like all houses see there's a main road
Yeah.
Actually you went through er
King's roundabout or
I don't know whether you went
No.
up towards er Banks you know we u er
I don't think I ever saw erm, yeah I didn't though.
all up there and past the village restaurant where
Yeah
where we went
Ah, yeah!
for
Mm.
Sunday Lunch, but it's closed down.
Oh yes!
You went down there and through Banks and then turn
Yeah.
to the right, I don't quite know where.
Mm.
Not quite clear there.
But er, it was nice, the horses were lovely!
Oh, were they?
Cos I didn't really know what to expect when he said oh
No.
she's got horses
Mm.
I thought they were just gon na be a load of.
Ah, but where this house were along the road
Yes.
like yo yo your houses and the
Oh, I see what you said.
bloody gardens but all, the back of there, they owned everything!
All the land didn't they?
You know there might ha, there might have been three hundred ya, three hundred yards of houses semis and detached and they had a bit of land, but all the back of that, that was theirs!
Yeah!
I see.
You know, it was all fenced they hadn't lived there long had they?
No.
And it was all new fences and it had all been it had been.
A newly built house as well you mean?
No it was old.
Oh I see, yeah!
It wasn't at first,
That house, it was a typical horsy place, rammy kitchen and loads of dogs jumping up at you.
Oh I see.
Aye, but in that lounge, when I when I went that lounge it was, they were the sort of people that bloody don't open the curtains!
They 'll save the blo, I presume save the bloody sun you know, fading the carpet or the curtains.
Yeah.
Cos the carpet must have been worth a bloody fortune anyway!
All the furniture in there was all you know, really smart stuff!
Yeah.
Well was it antiques or something cos I didn't come in?
Well I suppose it was antique, it was awful!
Well you know what a horses
bloody
person's kitchen is like?
hard wood, oh it was really smelly!
They're always the same.
And it had a they had a stuffed fox.
Well I
No,.
Stuffed fox.
Oh Aye!
Tosh's dad shot it.
Well I mean
And he'd been out shooting, but Tosh had give it to this feller
Oh no!
and this feller taxidermist.
And I thought
Well I suppose maybe they're not all the
Yeah.
same, but they're the type, and you walk in and the the
seriously though, you ca you couldn't see where it had been shot.
dogs fast asleep in the blanket that's just
I had a look round it, oh it's this
pricked with hair
he was there really!
and it's just, I've seen it so often
Yeah.
I just not gon na do with it!
Erm
Oh
but I du n no I was
like a little rigid bloody board thing!
so she's finished riding
Yeah.
Oh this was really nice, it was only
and
a young fox.
the girl?
Must have been about twenty one.
Oh it was really nice!
And they had another one
career or anything?
that was er it had been done
I don't know.
all like oh like, twenty years ago
Thought perhaps she did some work whatever.
and the difference it was
Mm.
the new one, it was like
But er, you know like Tosh hadn't,
it was there it was
he hadn't said that so, when they asked
looked nice, but the other one it was all snarled and everything!
and the mum was saying things and that
The person who'd done the old one
she goes, oh yeah!
Oh I hate it, when you have to ask
in my eyes like, was more professional than the one that had done the new one!
Yeah!
Cos it was all all this
Oh it was a!
Yeah.
you know, and that sort of thing.
We well you should I said!
Oh I am sorry!
It was all smell and I don't know what it was!
It was worth going into.
To look at you could just imagine that, you know, going for something looking like that.
You know, I mean, we just called upon them, I suppose
Yeah!
she wanted to think that oh, this is this, this is that.
Yeah.
But inside it was just
Whether they were posh or not.
killing me in!
No, she's a very down to earth.
But she was saying this that and the other but I just felt like saying oh, listen I know more than you anyway!
Yeah.
for a few months
Oh she was the big I am wasn't she?
.
She was, the big I am aye.
No?
Don't use
What?
the baby boy's running there.
No erm
Is is this month or
she says twenty third
by her dates, but the hospital said twenty ninth or something.
Oh
There's a bit
God well!
Time.
I had a dream didn't I?
I told you, I had a dream about er
Yeah, what was it again?
dreaming about the baby
Ah!
in the week
What did she have?
It was a little
A little boy.
it was a little lad, I dreamt it was a little lad
And I think she is gon na have a boy.
She 'll have a boy, yeah she said
and er
she 'll have one.
we were going we were going the house
It's usually the opposite.
No, I sa
No.
I said
Oh no!
that they're gon na have a little lad.
no, i i if it's her that dreamt it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's definite.
Oh well you're probably right.
and we were going their house, but it wasn't Judith 's, it was Rob's mum and dad's down Road and er we went in and you didn't know anything about it, and I walked in a Rob said she's had it!
I said what is it?
It's a little lad and I I looked through a window, I could see Judith holding this baby but you had to walk round to get to her and I knew before you'd got there and you were all over the moon about this little baby and everything
Ah!
and i it was all, you know
But it could talk didn't you say?
It was only tiny but it bloody talk!
Oh!
God!
bloody talk!
Aye!
Aye, I 'll tell you what bloody wouldn't surprise me!
Oh!
wasn't sure that
I think they 'll have to tell her that sometime!
Er, Kelly don't go.
Kelly can.
Kelly isn't, her name isn't
Oh yeah!
Kelly.
What a what's his name?
Well
Hugh.
Hugh.
Garry and Shaun
Remember Shaun?
forget about Garry
Oh aye!
with Shaun he's gone now!
And I don't know what
Gone with the wind!
But er, no she will have a lad.
Well she said herself she's expecting a lad though isn't she?
Oh that's right,
No, she hasn't been told by the hospital.
Oh no, she's doesn't want to know
No, she hasn't been told but she, she's thinks it's gon na be a lad.
They offered to tell
You mean
her or not.
You mean to say er i, they'd only lived in Bournemouth don't you?
Oh aye!
That was.
Urgh!
They always.
I don't feel at all like that!
Mm.
Glenn's gon na take her baby round with her
Well maybe they don't want him round.
when she's goes to do hair and that?
I don't know!
I bet she will.
Unless it's the likes of you, but in the day time
Mm.
she might take the baby if he's good.
Well I suppose she'd get away with it wouldn't she?
Mm.
God, I'd take her!
Well if he was sleeping you could leave him the car.
Better than shoving him in a creche in n it?
Course it is!
She wouldn't do that I 'm sure!
I don't know whether she makes that much money
It 's, it's too bloody much!
They sent her a lovely
Exactly!
di di
It's that, yeah
I was a bit annoyed I forgot I hadn't put your name on.
the hairdressers.
Well she stopped us going up that lane in the car, by
I didn't know her surname.
Mr Tots
whether she'd just had the baby, I don't know her surname.
I go, I had the lovely calligraphy pen and I put to Mr and Mrs, cos I always speak to Kevin, I know him
Yeah!
and I've met him in the pub.
I haven't a clue what her name was!
to Mr and Mrs K so, I had to put a note
You do!
sorry I can't remember your surname and put to Glenys, on the si, I think it 's.
Yeah.
I think it's something common, but I co
, yeah.
couldn't remember if it was,, or?
I didn't ever know it.
Here, I 'll tell you what else, just saying, David and
Angela's brother?
yeah, has moved to Chester
Yeah, you said, you said he came in.
but the other day I dreamt about Angela
Ah!
did you know the?
Have you told her about it or not?
No, I've I I did think at one time whether to pass a note, bye!
Whether to the pass
Bye!
through him to her
Yeah.
but erm unless she had said something, he never came back and said oh Angela says hello, if she had of done
Oh, yeah!
I might have you know, like I
Yeah.
knew it was her birthday on Halloween cos it always stuck in my mind
Ha oh, was it?
and I thought, shall I send a card, and I thought no, cos that many years have gone by
That's it.
so I've never done anything, but he's moved and he's been back and seen us.
Yeah.
He came in for a chat the other day and said, oh how you getting on?
Anyway, my my dream was, I walked into the photocopying room in work and who should be there, and you 'll remember the other girl as well Angela getting paper out of the cupboard, and Elizabeth
Ooh, Lord!
from.
Yeah.
now I haven't seen either of them since school
Ee!
and er Elizabeth, I just can't imagine that she's altered at all
No.
but, but she may have done.
Mm.
And er, I was just talking to her and that's all I can remember.
But, you know
Amazing isn't it?
when you think what you dream of, good God!
Bev's got this book of dre, mystic book of dreams or something it's called
Who?
I have in work
Oh!
and it's the biggest load of rubbish you've ever seen but
Somebody must of spent hours thinking
Yeah.
of all them!
Oh, they have!
Yeah!
You know, and there's every
Yeah.
it's all in alphabetical order, all different objects
or whatever.
They say, yeah.
Well some people really need them!
So like, we have a hell of a good laugh like, we go in and like, my dreams don't usually dawn on me till around lunch, I always say quick, give us the book!
I dreamt about a black cat, a black cat left the room!
Oh!
And it says, oh you are gon na do such
Well have you really or have just made it up?
You brought the book home!
I did dream about some kittens the other night, there was
Oh yeah?
three white ones and a black one.
That was after that white cat adopting you, I told you that's what it was!
He was there today wasn't he?
Yeah.
No, he's gone.
I can not
Do you feed it?
With most of my
Ah.
dreams most of
What with?
time well he had some fat of ham
Just bits and pieces.
that I didn't I brought the rest for Laddy.
Yeah.
Erm
Peanuts!
Ooh, he was funny though, he was coming like that, and he's dying for a stroke
Well that dog in the Raven was eating peanuts off Barbara, the mother Marsha the other week!
Doing tricks!
He's a bloody that idiot!
Yeah, and then
Erm yeah, it 's, it like it wants to be friendly
It's really timid isn't it?
but I don't think they pay attention to it across there
Ah!
it's not used to people!
It's friendly towards you because you've fed it in the day
It doesn't look neglected
Yeah.
Oh no!
oh no!
until you took your time.
And then it was rolling over and doing all sorts weren't it?
Oh, it was doing tricks and it was so
Ah!
funny!
Do you think it's young?
Yes.
I don't think it's very old.
I think it might even be that kitten
I think it's about two.
you know?
No.
They were they had a a board in of white kitten, free to good home.
Oh!
Erm
When was that?
I think it's the mother of whatever that was.
Do you?
It was in last year or something.
Oh yeah.
Erm, but Mike thinks it may be that kitten.
Oh it co could be I think it's
But it's only about eighteen months or two isn't it?
Oh it's
And it was sort of
comical honestly!
rolling over to be tickled but before you could tickle it, it was flipping right over and then jumping up wasn't it?
And will it let you
tickle it
oh
or not?
Yeah.
Yeah, you can stroke it but it 's, awful thing is
tickle when it's lies over
Oh aye!
yeah,.
But you have to be really slow.
But it had all it's side
Yeah, they don't like you touching, would it ever claw you if you
well it's the other side has all been shaved off!
went at it
No.
sudden?
No.
I don't think so.
It just run off.
All it's side had been shaved as if it had been an o had an operation.
It has had an operation you know.
I know, you can see the
You can see the mark.
Oh!
So I don't know whether it's a ca, a a she cat and it's been spayed.
Yeah.
the mark off the leg, you know where
Like on it
they do
but on it's top and that
On it's back leg.
Yeah.
And I said to him there's no scare but it's
Looking at it, yeah you can see it.
but the fur hasn't grown back,
The fur's starting to grow a little bit
it looks so ridiculous!
Mm, yeah.
which mark in n it?
Cos is the rest of it like floppy or
Yeah, we no well not floppy, it's about that long
Mm.
isn't it?
Oh, yeah.
But er, I was giving this er I'd been giving it a stroke, and er it's sort of dying to be fussed, but I don't think they give it any attention across there.
No, so it's not quite sure.
so, no.
But er, I sa so I said ooh, give it some of this fat off the ham and er it was getting it and then instead of eating it
Run away.
he were running by the shed to eat it!
Aye!
Like, as if it was fri, you know, like I would think to myself, if I didn't know that, I don't think they would mistreat it.
No.
But you think it had had a good kicking or something, wouldn't you?
Yeah!
The way it 's, but it's probably just not used to them.
So then, I'd have another piece and he'd trot off and he'd run again by the shed!
Ooh!
And the other morning
Ooh that's funny!
oh, was it a morning?
No, I was in.
Was it in the evening?
It were a weekend!
I think is was before
He were on the shed roof?
we come to mum 's.
Mm.
And er, it was on the shed roof, on the apex like that and it just had it's front paws over like that so I quick, got the camera and through the back bedroom window erm, took a picture of it on the shed roof like that, it was just looking!
Oh, like Chas.
But tonight before, well on Saturday before we came up like he'd been back and to this after, well this morning really and I, he'd disappeared hadn't he?
And I heard the bathroom window open and I went in there, I was just having a look, admiring my little shed roof there!
I nearly took a picture of him!
You weren't looking for the cat, you were looking
No I wasn't!
Anyway,, the old shed looks well there er, I du n no why I started to look out and the cat was on his back legs with his feet like that and he was looking up at me like that!
Ah!
So I thought I 'd, so I thought oh I better shut the bloody window, cos if he gets through it, you know, he be, get into it!
Oh yeah!
Sweet as a nut!
This is the, it's only the I've only fed it today er
He has been a couple of times.
But it's been back loads o
Yeah.
It's been a lot when you've been to Nora's
Yeah, but once you start!
you know.
To Nora 's?
When, he's gone to Nora 's, I've seen it.
Oh!
But
if I'd have fed it the first time I'd have understood it, but I've only fed it today!
Mm.
Yeah.
And it's already been
Mm.
a lot of times.
He might
Yeah.
be a bit hungry anyway, mighten he?
Yeah.
Or she.
Yeah.
today never noticed that before!
Haven't you I
Oh, I see!
noticed that before.
We have.
Oh,
I 'm just going to pay a call anyway before I leave it to the very last.
If living is without you.
You never found that music, we've got a lovely song out of Willy Wonka
Oh no, you know when you were playing tonight
And don't you laugh!
It's that
what reminded you
it was a cro, I tell you what, we were playing something tonight, I think it was the last thing before you stopped, and I kept thinking any minute now it's gon na be Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Yeah,
No, a Simple Girl.
Is it?
No
It would have been if I'd have carried on.
Yeah, and I kept thinking ooh
What was that one
that's nice!
And then I was this music's gon na come down
Close to Me, when you played Close to Me.
Close to You.
Close to You.
See I was right.
And er, I heard you do er
Killing Me Softly With his Song, which I
Oh yeah.
love anyway!
But then it was this I thought any minute it's gon na be Somewhere over the Rainbow.
Ee!
But it wasn't, and then you kept sort of going into something else.
But, this one, that's close to me or whatever mum's saying there remi, was reminding me of that Der der der
Oh yeah.
der der der
Oh yeah I love that.
der der der na na na na na
Mm.
na na na.
And you seeing what you're playing tonight, I thought I can't, but I heard the first thing der der der, but then it goes der der der
I can't.
der der, der der da.
But it didn't a, God, my dad's got the music to the one out of Willy Wonka!
Yeah.
It doesn't half sound like it you know!
Yeah, it does.
I nearly run downstairs and then it went into something else and mum said well, keep listening she said and erm it go
it goes a bit faster doesn't it, the next er er and a couple of bits after.
Mm de de de de de da da da da da da da da da da
Da dee dum de dum de dum de dum da da.
And then I keep, what does that sound like then?
Da da da da da da da da on of those Donny Osmond's or something?
Ah, yes I know that, yeah it sounds like da da da da
No it sounds like stri
No it sounds like one you won't have heard of on that, the big old LP's that me and Nicola, Nicola for a birthday, that erm, school love he used to be er, oh I du n no what was his name?
Probably Leo Sayer.
School love school love, da da da da da da da da da.
But er, oh we should try and get that, I love it I do!
And I tell you what, what else was I wanting to say?
And I didn't think you had the mu you had the music but not the words.
Think it was to all of Over the Rainbow.
Dad agrees that that der der der da da da da da.
Mm.
That does sound like that Willy Wonka
Yeah.
the start of it.
Did you think you had the music for it or something but
No.
you say, oh you never did?
An and you don't the tune to play, no?
Er no no!
Yeah!
Right
You've had a go haven't you?
It's just that
Yeah, you have.
like I haven't got any more words I think.
No.
I thought you have tried to play
Never even had a go to play.
Willy Wonka?
No.
No?
I I it's one of the tunes, you know it when it's on, you know
Yeah.
Yeah
and it's
to try and er
you do need to
go to the video shop or something and see who play, who does it.
Oh you have to ring up
ask for bloody Willy Wonka!
I will!
you ring up er
Oh yes that number!
that num, you can ring that
or whatever
library in Birmingham.
They're forever, tell him about it.
What's that?
That library you can get
You ring them and tell them a tune to them.
She was going
Ah yeah!
promotion when she called.
Oh.
That was in er?
This week has been about the library.
Oh God!
That Phillip he was in there.
can you just watch for that lovey cos you're talking.
Yeah, I heard of the name.
Phillip?
Yeah,!
What are you doing bringing cups in now?
Probably wants er.
I know she wants.
I don't want you put those trousers away on the washing.
What these?
The other day, they're dirty, they hadn't been washed they're dirty when you look at them in daylight.
See if she wants to take them to
Ooh I don't know.
You 'll have a lot, aye?
Aye?
I don't know!
You don't know what?
Whether they want wa washing or
You 'll have no choice if I 'm saying they're dirty, I shall inspect them in daylight so
They don't look dirty now.
No they don't, and that's why
What?
These trousers.
No!
These are good for another twelve
Shut up Mike!
months!
Don't make him worse than what he is!
No, I expect it's that
it's in the paper.
Oh yeah I noticed
Mm.
that!
The one with the.
Oh aye!
Who used to miserable when she got.
Used to live down the road
and I
Oh!
First time
Bye!
!
See you lad!
Bye!
Do you have to keep?
Yes, it raining.
mm mm mm mm mm mm world of full imagination.
It's got warmer with it.
What 's?
the dreams.
Better than this?
Yeah.
Oh yes!
Oh we're going some, well
Oh yeah.
I know.
You know there's something else.
when we get over, lads.
What made you say do you think it's better than this?
She was.
I've opened it!
Good God, she was only fourteen she had a deeper voice than
.
delayed.
It's gon na be one o'clock I expect when she gets in.
She's going to work tomorrow.
Is she?
Yeah.
Aye
Mm.
She 'll be shattered.
Aye.
Paul been?
Yes he was here at soon after nine.
Good god.
What the hell's wrong with him?
Well he'd got up and then.
He put a shower in yesterday, that Piers.
He hasn't
When's he going back?
I don't know.
And he took the front piece out of that magazine.
He said can I take this?
And said what is it?
It was erm photo of some curtains, he said they exactly the same as Joanna got up for the lounge.
And there was a coupon in, he sent off for fifteen pound off.
It 'll be too bloody late now.
He didn't take much like, if you want any like
Oh.
it's in there.
Look at that.
Oh god look at them
Oh bless them.
Have you seen them?
Ah look!
Yeah.
look.
We've got a cat comes to our house, a white one.
Pure white like that.
Comes
Yeah?
from next door isn't he?
Mm.
Lovely he is.
Is that one of them what?
No
No it's a different one.
he's alright he you can stroke him but you have to go slow towards him.
He's alright, he was rolling over on the floor yesterday with me wasn't he?
Mm.
Oh.
Well I wasn't rolling on the floor, the cat was.
The cat, aye.
Well see a black one still that we've coming
Mhm
to the door, he 'll not let you touch him.
Where was that ambulance going yesterday?
He turned down here.
Aye, well er
We was we was outside our house and I seen it turning along there somewhere.
well w we were wait we were waiting to cross the road
and er it went up here.
So I thought where the hell's it going.
So when we come up the lane it was on the top here and er Sally's dad was with it and then er the engine was still going so this girl, well erm one of them wenches
Mm
she lives in Barnside, she was coming up behind me and her husband and kids and I
It's not her bloody husband.
No.
Isn't it?
So I said to her er what's happened here?
Ooh she said it's Mrs's fell.
Who's Mrs?
She lives erm upstairs down there.
Oh aye.
She's had two falls.
And she fell on the
Well it come with them bloody blue lights going
Mm
through
flashing like hell.
You could, you could hear him coming for miles.
for miles aye.
And all the traffic got on the side for it to go.
And er, anyroad somebody brought her daughter, whether Sally's husband had rung her daughter to come.
Somebody in a blue car brought her and there were two ginger headed girls.
Ah
Well her daughter's only got a son.
So I don't know what happened.
Mrs eh?
Was she?
No.
She never, she n never has And er well she fell down the road not long ago and she went into hospital.
And then er
Why have they taken her in now?
They must have done.
And I er was talking to her down the lane when Mrs Monday and I asked her how she was and she said oh I've had a few falls in the house and all.
Oh dear.
She's eighty six I think.
She'd be better in a bloody home wouldn't she?
And old hasn't come back home yet.
Hasn't he?
No.
And we've never seen his kids.
But they were playing ball, that football on the road yesterday when we went out.
I said to Mrs perhaps it's one of them.
He says
so
Mm.
Don't
And he seemed as if had been here when I was down the road
Ooh that's a shame that you missed her, bloody hell.
common interests book was shoved through the door.
It's a damned good job we went because
Ooh you'd have never got down the road.
No I wouldn't.
We went into er and we went into Carmella 's.
. Bought some apples.
Have you seen much of Beryl lately?
Eh?
Do you see
Aunty Beryl
Beryl lately?
No I haven't.
When was the last time you seen her?
Christmas was last.
Was it?
Mm.
And I've never
She must be
heard from Gladys and Fred
No?
for months!
It's er Christmas I seen Fred, I haven't se er well, I know I 'm not gon na get on the phone to her, you know what it's like with Gladys.
Mm, can't get off once you're on can you?
I know she might be bad, we don't know.
Fred
Lost her bloody voice again perhaps.
Aye.
I sometimes think I
It's queer that
It's queer like
Well if you rung you could always say oh I 'll have to go cos somebody at the door if she starts going on a bit long.
Aye.
Say ooh there's somebody at the door, have to go.
That's the best.
Well I can't at night.
Well of course you can.
Well she might think oh you don't go to the door at night.
Well say our Michael was in.
Well if you didn't ring tonight and rung tomorrow and rung early on-ish and you 'll have to say
Oh aye but
ooh our Michael, ooh, ooh there's somebody at the door, I 'll have to go.
Aye about sixish.
After, soon after six cos it's cheaper then in n it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you could have ten minutes on the phone and say ooh I 'll have to go, there's somebody at the door.
Aye.
And then that's it then in n it?
say ooh I just seen Michael passing, I 'll have to
The ball's in her court then.
Tosh and Les have just been on the phone to us up there haven't they?
Ah.
Have they?
Yeah.
They're coming at Easter.
Oh aye.
James has been er talking down the footie yeah, yeah talking a load of bloody rubbish but he 'll start speaking all of a sudden won't he?
Yeah.
It must be rheumatic this in here ooh god it hurts.
Have to rub it cos
Mm.
Oh dear
Did you watch Beadle before?
said they'd been recording things for her wanting to see what she does see when she's old.
Oh
Probably have all the bloody soaps taped and everything.
Neighbours and Coronation Street.
Oh I don't know about Neighbours, I know Coronation Street and oh I don't know I don't know what it were.
Oh she said we've cleaned the house from top to bottom.
Everything's lovely by she comes home.
And you know she said that er I was telling you about?
Aye I said, so she said the landlord's never put it down so we thought he'd have had it down by she come home cos Alison seen it and where they work and th and there's a room there or something and she'd asked the boss could she have it for the bathroom.
Mm.
And he said yes, take it home.
But she's round here er Friday night.
Mm.
She's been round here a few times since her husband been away asking how I am.
They've got a crow in that cage there look.
Have they?
There were a lot of crows when we went for a walk before flying round.
Mm.
Ooh and the seagulls.
They must go to that sewerage isn't it?
Aye.
Coming back tonight there was hundreds of them!
In droves they come in or a bunch and then another bunch comes and about er quarter to five and it's every night.
They must go at the break of day, you know?
Mm.
Mm.
Looking for turds.
Well there's nothing else
No.
I went to the tip yesterday
Oh aye.
to the skips and in a fortnight they shut.
They're shutting the skips down and then anything that you take then you have to take straight to the tip.
And they're gon na charge you for going there even if you've got like household stuff in the car, they're gon na charge you for tipping.
I said to the bloke I 'll not bloody pay.
He said well I've lost me job through it he said.
Cos he looks after the s the skips
Mm.
and then he can have what they have to put price in and then they, they have the scrap out of them see and all the rest of it.
So I've lost me bloody job because of it he said.
And the nearest place to go to a skip then is in Queensferry.
Oh.
And if you just tip it outside the gates they're gon na fine you two thousand pound.
Oh good god
Why are they gon na have somebody watching?
Well he reckons they're gon na have like security there and everything.
Oh well where do you, where is it you?
Spencers.,
They 'll find somewhere else
Nowt.
to dump it won't they?
Yeah.
Oh.
Matthew's supposed to have a job there now.
Where?
Spencers.
Spencers?
They don't know what, er you play, pay your bloody poll tax and you've still got ta pay
Aye!
to dump your rubbish!
Mm.
Aye!
I said I 'll leave mine out for the bloody bin men before I take it down the tippy.
By hell
I'd put bags of bloody bricks on the front.
Aye.
And I'd leave the buggers there as well.
If he didn't take them they could stop there.
the cheeky buggers.
He said it's bec all because the tipping's been privatized or something.
Ha! government.
Aye well if the Tory's get in again, they're going to privatize the post offices.
Well they reckon they 've, they've split it all ready for privatizing.
Because there's like post office parcels now isn't there?
And
Mm.
the post office counters.
Like the post office down the road.
And the post office letters and all the bloody rest of it, it's all been split up ready so they just privatize it.
Saying how there's gon na be a lot of roads with a poll tax to pay.
Not poll tax, bloody tolls.
Well tolled, toll I mean.
Aye.
aye.
It's coming to something, I hope them buggers don't get in.
Did you watch the football this afternoon or that
No I
kung fu.
Did you, didn't see kung fu no?
no I didn't se I watched football and then I turned in the interval I t turned it on to and er
And the Antiques Roadshow.
Yeah.
See that teapot of a monkey?
Aye.
Oh it was horrible!
Ugly bloody thing it was.
Oh were in er it was terrible, I'd have chucked the bugger out before now.
Wouldn't we?
Mm.
Wouldn't have that bugger in the house.
Oh god! what do you think we've burnt at home.
Makes you wonder what, were they very
Oh god
valuable value in them.
Packed away
God aye you've probably chucked away a fortune.
It's too damn late to think about it now though in n it?
Yep.
Aye that er You've Been Framed that dog in the water with that man.
He c he got him off didn't he, and he sat in the thing.
I didn't see that.
In the seat.
No.
Oh.
Saw the one with the duck on his back.
Oh aye that was good and all.
Eh aye.
Ooh me shoe does it Michael?
It won't go any tighter, you 'll have to put more paper in it if you wan na
Well just leave it like that and let it stretch so the leather stays like that.
What have you done, put a spud in it?
Mm?
Is that the one you put a spud in?
Aye.
That's where she had the bloody potato at the back of the bloody thing, there, pushing it in.
Oh Joanne
It has stretched it hasn't it?
Oh aye.
You're frightened of doing stretched it altogether.
You 'll pull the bloody leather from under there if you tighten it any more.
Aye.
You see it won't tighten any more, that's it.
What damn sort of contraption's that?
Joanne's brought it?
Well it just winds up and it pushes a wedge forward and splays them out.
I got it, it's cos I think it was for a a thinner shoe mind
Well it's for like a a narrower shoe, a woman's shoe,
And Michael had to put a lot of paper in to
pack it out.
But erm
Do you make a good door cos you don't make a very good window, sit back.
She's coming again tomorrow to have a look at it and practice.
What the one from from the hairdressers?
Aye.
She comes out to you now does she?
Aye this is the third time.
but she said.
So she said she'd come again tomorrow.
Have to get you ready for this wedding she said.
Mm.
Erm Madelade said that Peter got the nerves already.
About the wedding?
Mm soon be here the wedding won't it?
Aye soon come now won't it?
Only be about seven weeks something like that.
Six or seven weeks.
finish the doors I think for the
Eh?
He's varnishing isn't he, the doors?
I du n no.
Oh he's staining them.
Aye.
He should have left the bloody things off because they're gon na have to take them off if they have their carpets down and might have to have something planed off them or something mightn't they?
left them up, left them up or something I don't He said on the night he 'll have to come again and have a look at it.
Mm it looks well now.
But he was having today as well weren't he, his back door?
Eh?
He was having his back door put on today weren't he?
Why hadn't he got?
Well he had an old one on, he bought a new one on Friday.
Oh did he?
An old stained one or something.
That's like Barbara and Graham 's.
Big Victorian stained door type
Oh it 'll be all nice when he's finished.
Oh it looks well there now.
Got a nice bit of ground don't they?
Mm.
So er perhaps he 'll wait till he gets the carpets down.
Mm.
Cos he hasn't erm had the switched on yet.
Well he's had the fire plumbed in but the gas isn't on.
Oh I don't know
I d well that's what he was gon na do, that's what Les was gon na do, put the fire in.
It's only a matter of connecting the bloody pipe up.
Aye.
He's had an electric bill hasn't he for god knows how much.
And he hasn't bloody used any.
No.
Fifty pound I think.
Mm something like that, or eighty pound was it?
Mm.
I said what you gon na do?
I said you wan na send the bugger back, he said don't worry I have done.
Aye another
They try it on all ways don't they?
Be having another now cos he read them the other day.
Well that's the one, he's had one.
Oh that's the one.
Oh god well I expect we 'll have ours in the morning.
Aye ours will be, if you have yours in the morning ours will be here tomorrow or Tuesday
Mm.
I expect.
Shouldn't be that much.
You have yours estimated though don't you?
Did you see that Stars in Their Eyes last night?
That Lesley Crowther with them people singing.
Aye.
That young girl was good weren't she?
Aye she was good.
Mm.
But didn't he make her different?
Aye.
hair different
Mm.
Eh I
But she s Marty's got a tape of the woman that actually sung that anyroad who she bloody sounds like her.
Mm.
She was good.
Oh aye she was good.
Got little pieces on them haven't they, them?
Yes.
the dog.
Dopey little bugger that one eh?
Ah no!
He's lovely.
Horrible little bugger.
shed will be nice and dry now, there 'll be no water leaking in
Ah.
No.
Oh well that's better.
I 'll have to get some wood preserver or creosote and
Mm.
I 'll do all the fences before
Aye.
Well it's too bloody late now, all the rain will have stopped by I finish messing about I expect.
I but
It's made the difference though putting that other stuff on it.
I did it with some stuff before
Oh did you?
and er I was watching it when it was raining the other day, you could see the rain dripping off the wood rather than soaking into it so it's done something.
Oh aye.
Well you can keep different things in it now than you couldn't before.
Eh?
Oh everything's been in the bloody thing anyway.
Everything's in there anyway.
It's full in n it?
No.
He 'll be ha er having it in the summer
With chairs and table outside.
I 'm gon na get all the back tidy for the summer.
I know it's not very big but
No.
if I get it tidy, put a bit of do all, get all the garden level and everything.
Be able to, at least be able to sit out or something in the summer.
Oh aye.
And I 'll put so bit more soil in that, you know that border thing that we've got there?
Well there was all concrete and all sorts on the top of that weren't there?
I know.
So I've knocked it all up so I 'm gon na dig it over and put, get some more soil this next week.
Well where's thee gon na get thee soil from?
Well I don't know.
I don't wan na pay for the bugger.
I 'll see Johnny, see if he's got anything.
Mm.
but he might.
Well I 'll leave ca I don't wan na do them till the summer, it will be too bloody wet now.
It's wet as down there.
Went down for a walk today didn't we?
It was slippery as hell down the fields.
Oh aye.
Did your mum and dad go along?
Mm.
What, for a walk?
Mm.
Mm.
It was nice aye.
dog's not so bad walk like.
Oh aye he's alright.
He was
this morning.
We was we give him an aspirin he was alright.
Oh aye.
We took a couple of photos of him again today.
So if, he's got a fortnight
Whereby is it?
Right in the middle duck.
He's got a fortnight before it's got ta go in anyway
Aye.
so we 'll have this film developed
It's in there.
On that page.
There.
We 'll get it developed and we've
Oh aye
we've got things on him as well so we find the best.
Well take it home with you Martine then.
Yeah he was comical wasn't he, tonight?
He had his bloody he had his cushion and he had his bloody, you know that one how we got him with his head on his cushion like that?
He was lying with his head on his cushion, eh
god almighty.
Twelve they want.
Do they?
It 'll be alright to have a win it again ducks, go to London weekend again.
Mm.
Be nice wouldn't it?
Don't think there's much chance of that.
Eh there 'll be hundreds sent in though won't there?
Oh aye.
Bound to be.
Cos our now she brought his Spillers.
Growing erm parsley in a container.
I don't understand, it says Spillers is on the look out for Britain's twelve most appealing dogs to appear on the Prime calendar nineteen ninety three.
Then a bit lower down it says eight semi finalists will be selected for a final judging in April.
Well I suppose they 'll, you send them all in then there's eight semi finalists
Aye.
and then they 'll just pick one out of that to go on as part of the calendar.
Mm.
For one of the months, I would have thought.
The way, that's the way I read it anyway.
Oh aye yes, a big calendar where you turn over
Mm
with a different dog on.
Oh, so th and then Prime themselves will get the others, it's just they want one.
I would have thought so.
I think that's what it 'll be myself.
Oh right.
I mean if you sent that one in with his head on his cushion er erm I don't suppose there 'll be anybody else is gon na send one in like that.
No.
People's gon na be sending them in with with the dog
Dog standing.
standing there or doing
Aye.
whatever.
Mm.
But that one it, they might say oh you know, bloody hell that's
That's unusual.
good you know.
That'd be nice to have on the calendar sort of thing.
Mm.
I know we, you haven't got a cat in bloody hell's chance of us going but
No, there's no harm in
Oh no.
sending it.
Good god it Our Susan will be thrilled to bits if you went again.
Aye.
Aye Alison said you want her to come home don't you?
Well aye I said to her as long as she 'll come home safe and sound it's all that matters in n it?
I said erm I said to Alison oh aye cos she rang up the other day and I asked her if she'd found a fella.
Oh aye she said,.
Aye Alison said, she said she said no she's not interested oh.
We 'll have to go
Yeah.
No I say she done modelling over there.
Ooh she said they they're all foreign she said she wouldn't be able to understand talking.
Shall we make a move then?
Yeah.
Ooh, go and watch Maigret.
Aye.
Ooh
Aye.
Knocking the place
It's had some knocks that bugger, it's never come down yet.
It did come down once.
Do you remember I had to have erm I rang Michelle and er what do you call it's dad come out.
One of the.
Oh aye.
He couldn't believe
Oh I don't remember.
come through the damn ceiling.
Right
Right
Come on.
Right.
Sure you 'll not, not miss the sheet tonight?
Mm, take it if you want.
It's in the
Oh take it tomorrow, won't be washing
No I know you're washing today
Oh.
Got stuff to dry there now.
Aye.
Oh doesn't matter.
Right.
with the weather being so bad.
Yeah.
Take a few days to dry, but they dry eventually.
Aye well bring some tomorrow Michael.
Aye we 'll see how we get on.
Right.
Take care then.
Right bolt this door after us.
I will love.
Okey-dokey
Bye.
Ta ra Norah see you tomorrow.
See you.
Bye.
Isn't it horrible?
Mm.
I 'm getting
in n it?
I bet she 'll bloody wait up for Susan to ring.
Oh I expect so, aye.
Susan won't ring.
She said to her in the week when she rung she won't ring until I thought it was like midnight last night she was getting in and she wasn't gon na ring till today but it 'll be tomorrow she 'll ring her.
Yeah.
She 'll wait up.
Sure as eggs is eggs.
As long as she doesn't bloody ring us to say oh Susan's just rung.
I 'll clonk her if she does.
You know what she's like.
Ooh it's quiet in n it?
Surely is.
Must be cos it's so horrible.
Did you say you were working with Roy tomorrow?
Well I might be, I don't know.
Bloody ballbag 'll probably phone me in the morning or something.
I might be going to er Ellesmere Port, there's coffin stones to get up, they've got er hoist thing there so I don't know.
Yeah?
I might be there or I might be with Roy, I don't know.
Will you be home any earlier than you have been?
We might try and put all the on tomorrow and if they do they 'll just work till they get them on.
I don't know.
I think.
what I was thinking.
Eh?
what I was thinking then.
Oh god I can't stop yawning.
Pop the lock on.
I can take these if you bring the grey bag.
Right.
Sally's off tomorrow and Tuesday as well.
I think she
One of the jobs we are doing is to identify what schemes they're planning that they won't need to build.
That's not possible.
If you need a larger one that that
That's what it says.
I've got a
No but
template.
on a bridge bit
Why not?
It 's, it's that's really linked to do we need to do the Caernarvon link if we're doing the bypass?
Do they need to do the they've proposed that they to bypass erm if we're doing the Caernarvon bypass.
Well can they detrunk that bit?
Well it doesn't say that.
Well can they detrunk that bit?
responsibility not
Yeah.
theirs if they put the bypass in.
So what came out of this, well it could be
So are they looking to build a bypass first?
The gut reaction this morning is we could end up with a bypass scheme at the end of it and no Caernarvon link.
Oh that's no good is it?
Of course it is.
Cos we're still continuing designing a Caernarvon link.
four percent fee.
Mind you it 's, it's a smaller job.
What's smaller?
Well if they're doing that then we s we're looking to make this a dual carriageway on the Richard principle that if it's a trunk road it's worth building a dual, a dual carriageway.
If you can convince him on traffic grounds fair enough.
So they're serious
Course the initial thing is we get some reaction back from this, this
so they're seriously looking to the trunk road network coming down bypass and then going off round the Caernarvon bypass?
Or is that just
That wasn't er Ray's view.
That was this other guy's view.
Based on this other scheme really he said oh yes.
But which, whi which other guy?
This Ve Vernon whatever his name is.
The are proposing this.
They won't want that.
They wo they won't
But the the guy that's looking after the schemes
Yeah.
guy.
He's what?
He's looking after the schemes for the leisure office.
Oh!
Oh he wasn't from.
Sorry I thought he was
He was from the leisure office looking after the.
Right.
Got it.
That's what it 's, he's interest
Right.
Yes.
Very good.
Well
Right.
have a lovely meeting.
Seminar
I will yes.
Er you're going on this thing at the end of the month?
Meetings yes.
There'd appear to be out of this office.
There seems to be an awful lot of us going, yeah.
I 'll o I 'll only be there Friday morning and Saturday.
I won't be there Friday afternoon since I 'm taking my son to the dentist.
I do wonder if it's really w er I mean
Okay.
See you tomorrow.
You won't.
I 'm in Chester all day tomorrow.
Manchester all day Wednesday.
L E C visit Thursday, Friday.
Busy man.
I'd better get me timesheet out of
It's signed.
Oh it's signed.
Oh that's alright.
We don't want bothering us do we?
Er where were we?
Mm?
Where were we?
We were drawing up plans.
It looks as though we're gon na be doing some extra survey work.
Mm.
Ah that's what I was saying what
Yeah, now
detail on roundabouts.
right.
How much staff did we use?
Can, can you The erm the Ormskirk
Oh, that's a pity.
track of methodology but
push to get Steve today.
Well I left a message with his saying
Were any of these four arm rou it's a five arm roundabout isn't it?
Were any of these four arm roundabouts?
Yes
We did that one didn't we?
We need to do these
Yeah that was roundabout.
That was a six arm.
And we did that one.
Yeah that was a
That's five arms isn't it?
five.
What other ones did we do?
That one there?
Hello Charlie.
We did, yeah, we did the here.
That was a five arm.
Well these down here about fifteen or sixteen
Oh yeah well th yeah
the motorways were four arm.
How many staff do we need to do that then?
The full turn in count.
Suppose, well supposing we count ins and outs and the
Yeah.
sample.
Right.
You need one t to where, where were, where we talking about now?
St David.
See you're gon na get some busier than others.
Yes.
If they were all as busy as each other you've got ta have one doing ins and one doing outs.
But on quiet roads, one person can do ins and outs.
I 'll er I 'll
Yeah just get something done and I 'll be back
Okay.
And we 'll go through it.
On the Queensferry bypass, on the interchange there it was five hours.
It's only really a four and a half hour roundabout isn't it?
Yes but one is out and
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you can obviously that's gon na just be one person.
One person could do a two way on a quiet arm but the others are gon na need one person to do ins, one person to do outs.
And one person at each arm doing a sample.
So you've got nine plus four Did we do a sample all day?
No, just in the peak hours they're sampling.
Didn't we do them off peak as well?
We should have done them off peak as well shouldn't we?
I don't know.
I mean Jan did those.
I think it was just peak hours.
Er It's gon na take thirteen people isn't it?
Yeah, I mean if it was peaks only I mean there's nothing to stop me doing it.
Well I appreciate that.
Or you use it, you put everybody on in the peaks
Yeah.
and then you, you
You use the
cutback
In the off, in the off peak they rotate the staff and
I 'm not The thing is what you're assuming then is that the pattern in the peak hour is typical for the day as a whole.
That's not right is it?
Mm maybe not.
Well you 'll get a different pattern in the morning peak and the evening peak for a start won't you?
Mhm.
Mind you maybe you won't.
Depends, what you're really concerned about is how does the proportion of traffic split to left and right and straight ahead isn't it?
If that pattern basically stays the same then you've got, the volume, the flow will go up and down.
Mm right.
But if we did a full turning count how would we do that?
You can't do it can you?
It's not realistic.
You have to do if you're doing that you have to have all the ins and outs plus a circulation flow.
Yeah.
And I've never done one like that.
We've always you know, found a way round it.
What we did before, was we did counting in flows and circulating.
I think what we would do supposing we didn't, supposing we just had heavy vehicles and light vehicles?
That's gon na make things a lot easier isn't it?
Yeah well we, for Queensferry we just had three classes.
Motorbikes, cars, light goods H G V including two three and four axle and buses for the, for the whole count, now for the samples Rob didn't even want it classified.
It was just a vehicle regardless of what it was.
Yeah.
I suppose we could do a classified count er on the A four eight seven sort of a bit away if we wanted a proper classified count couldn't we?
Yeah.
Separate, on another day.
Yeah.
Or we could just use whatever we get at the interview side.
Erm perhaps the thing to do is to look at how it varied in nineteen eighty six.
Did you get that report out?
Yes you did.
How it varied between the two sides.
There's three thousand one hundred there.
Mhm.
That's two way.
On a twelve hour day.
So assu you're talking about, well supposing that's grown, it may be four thousand, so you're talking about two thousand tr vehicles in the interview direction over twelve hours.
So you're gon na want to interview forty percent right?
How many do you think you 'll need?
Do you think you 'll need if you have t a team of four on, is that a half team or a six team?
A half.
A four.
We did have we worked a six team but it's not as easy to work out.
I 'm only thinking that you've got somebody counting?
Yeah.
There's one person counting?
Two.
Two people counting.
Yeah.
One's on a break.
Two.
Sorry?
Oh what are you on about now?
When th there's a half team?
A half team.
Right yeah.
If there's a half team one people, one person counting one on a break and two interviewing.
And they have a break every three hours.
Can one person count and cope with that sort of flow?
No I'd want two people.
Two people counting?
Oh what are you on about now?
On this this quieter roa oh right.
Er yeah one person would be alright.
That's the same sort of flow as we had a Birkdale Cop.
Mm.
Isn't it?
We only had half a team there.
Right.
Yep that's alright then.
Well my feeling on the roundabout is that we need to do, count ins and outs and do a sample.
Okay.
And erm I think that's the thing to do.
Yeah.
See the, so say if we, like you just said, we need thirteen people
Mm.
but there's only gon na be two days.
If we've got two roundabouts there's only gon na be two days when we need that thirteen people.
So when we're
Two roundabouts?
There's that other roundabout isn't there?
You know where the horses were in the field?
That was a four armed roundabout.
Just down from
Yeah.
the station house place where we parked
You 'll find that erm the flows there are very low.
So you think we could get away with treating that as a crossroads and have people
I reckon
doing that?
I reckon
Well we could have a person counting and not only are they counting what's coming out of their junction, but they could do left, straight on or right.
Treat it as a crossroads perhaps.
I reckon si yes four or six people would cover that, no problem.
I think you 'll find the flow is a a low
it wasn't busy when we were there was it?
No I mean it may be, you know you i it may be reasonably busy straight through but I would have thought even there you're probably talking about four not a lot higher than that I wouldn't have thought.
No.
Okay I 'll take four people
And erm we're going very round very slow.
And the visibility was good and everything.
So I'd have thought that erm you could put four or six, four or six people on that.
And actually if we just counted this to through traffic wouldn't be too much
Hello right.
your pudding?
What erm have you heard any of it? you have.
What did it sound like?
It's good.
We both just said that it ne you'd never think that you sound right on tape.
I always think I sound high pitched.
sounds all like bloody what she does say.
Yeah
Nearly didn't recognize you there Jimbo.
Me?
No, sorry another Jim.
Oh.
Jim with a suit on.
Must be going to a funeral.
Or going for an interview.
I've just seen yeah he must have an interview.
Ooh.
Oh god.
You 'll never guess who was in the pub yesterday.
You're right.
No!
Mm.
I 'm afraid.
Mm.
I just heard you, heard you twang twanging your ruler.
Doing.
Twanging?
Twanging.
Did you, did anybody see that film about erm st the stolen cars?
The other night, what?
Friday night.
Mm no.
No.
What station was that on?
Erm I du n no, it was one of these er documentary type things and it was just like all organized crime, they were just erm
saying of all, all the things that they get up to you know, cutting using a stolen car
Mhm.
or a write off car and joining them and welding them
Yeah.
down the middle.
Cos that's what happened to Brian, you know when Brian had his Orion nicked? got stopped in
the cars or something?
Little Sutton cars.
And then, it's taking him ages to get
Has he got it now though?
Yeah.
But er the things that they were doing were just unbelievable.
Erm you know to get the chassis numbers and that.
buying old say a scrapped a written off Sierra you know, picking them up cheap for about a thousand quid from the scrappy
Yeah.
and then getting all the the chassis numbers and that and welding them on to these stolen cars and Because what, you know, er Siobhan's dad had a, bought a Montego and I don't know how it came about but they discovered that erm it had a diff I mean it's had a Maestro engine in it and it had this that and the other.
And er they had to repossess it and he was paying.
And I don't know how, what's happened about it now but at the time he was still having to pay for it
Mhm.
even though they'd taken the car.
there was a woman there that erm the police do this service thing where they 'll look a car over for you, if you bought a car that you know has been er in an accident and it's been
Yeah.
they will have a look at it over and check it over.
And there was a woman on it, she had a really nice Orion, a J reg.
Anyway when they had a good look at it the front half was an Escort and the back half was an Orion, half a stolen car.
You know they hadn't even matched the same bloody type of car.
There's not really a lot of difference though is there between
There is
Well there isn't and I I said to Mike what did it look like, you know?
He said it was nice.
But when they're doing these welding jobs they haven't got them on those things so as they're doing it like it's all moving and
Yeah.
Yeah they're totally
it was just a complete bodge.
I if you're driving along you can throw out the balance of the car.
Yeah.
Well it was that erm one in Manchester, that crash you know there was three people killed in the middle of Manchester wasn't there?
Oh I seem to remember something like that.
Erm and the car just broke up in half and that was, that had been er welded but like the police are saying as well as soon as they sort of get wise to what they're doing and they find a way to er you know, get on to them, they devised something else.
And the people doing it in these garages erm, you know like respraying and doing all the welding and everything, really he said some of the things they were doing if they did it legally they'd make a good go of it
Mm.
they were that good at what they were doing.
Tell me was I dreaming or did I see a sketch on T V where there's a car driving round, down the road being chased by the police and the driver said to the passenger er here take this and he says what's that for and he says it's to steer the car, presses a button and the car splits
It's an advert for Malcolm.
the car s the car split in two.
yeah.
A yellow car.
It's an advert for that film called Malcolm
Is that what it was?
about the
Yeah.
retarded lad that invented all these strange and he did bank robberies with a remote control car.
It was an advert, it wasn't
But I did see it on the T V?
Oh you did.
Oh that's fine.
Straight after er the advert for Del-boy when he says and you know what you can do with that.
Even talking about trailers now.
Trainers?
Talking about te television trailers.
Oh, oh yeah.
Not just the programmes.
There was a programme on about trailers the other night as well.
Have you seen the, the advert for these trainers with no laces, you just tighten the thing up.
Puma Discus system.
They're out on the twenty of March or something.
Mm.
I wonder how much they're gon na be a pair?
Du n no.
La laces are a thing of the past.
Watch this space or something.
Yeah.
Something like that.
I thought it was a built in egg timer or something.
Obviously another time saving device.
Yeah.
To save you what say thirty seconds?
Oh at least.
Ah there's no point getting cynical is there?
Not at this time of the day, no.
Not on a Monday.
Rest of the week.
Exactly.
Where did he go?
I thought you were going out?
I I 'm finishing early but I 'm not go going out.
Watch you don't er swallow that the wrong way.
I didn't even have anything in me mouth.
Sharp intake of breath.
Excuse me?
For their telephone number I've just put a question mark and I've put a note here to say I was internally transferred.
S sounds like I've had an operation doesn't it?
I 'm being internally transferred.
Oh.
Someone pressed the I C M button.
Yeah.
Oh I told you didn't I that er the fellow with the Portakabins that does work for the B B C, he had the Portakabin and then your tables are two pound each, and your chairs range from fifty pence to one pound fifty.
I think the ones that are fifty pence are those blue and white striped ones off the prom at Prestatyn
job lot.
And er he didn't say how much the toilet was but that 'll probably be separate.
You know, it's a separate thing so there must be a separate price, it would cost a bloody fortune.
And the visibility didn't seem very good out of them.
But the smallest one, the twelve foot ones, there's only one window.
The door's in the back end.
Erm so I presume that was the opposite end to where the tow bar would be
Mm.
and then just one window in it.
Maybe just down the length of one side.
Or even just at the end.
Yeah.
No I think it was down the side I think he said.
But I I think that 'll be too expensive anyway.
Mhm.
And that's why Mr said he he'd er
He'd do it, yeah.
And we know where we are then with the toilet.
You know, you know what you're getting don't you?
Yeah.
How much?
Yeah it'd be erm Jim said there would be no problem because his men have to empty their own chemical loos anyway.
But the bowl coupling could be a problem.
He said but we 'll sort it out, don't worry love.
They're all very nice people.
They have got an accent this's got one but he sounds more Lancashire than anything.
And he's nowhere near.
Perhaps he's just moved there.
Mm.
I 'll have to er give her a ring to and tell them to send me the advert.
Tell them to buy.
Mhm.
When does it go out?
I don't know.
Today.
Is it going in The Post?
No.
Didn't we tell you that?
To have it in er Daily Post, The Post is the morning one The Echo's the evening to have it in for one day in The Post and The Echo, how much?
Du n no, about eighty quid.
Three hundred and ninety six pound sixty four pence.
So you said we 'll have it in all week?
How big was the advert?
Er about a hundred words in a box.
Two columns wide and erm eight centimetres down.
We reckoned that was about quarter of a page.
It's a lot of money isn't it?
But see the reason I have to send this to Liverpool for them to put it in
Mhm.
cos it has to go through our advertising agents.
Cos we advertise in a special format don't we?
We have the dash lines round the box
Mm.
and we have the logo on the bottom and that.
So they've had to do it so I mean she quoted me
thirty six quid for this thirty six eighty four or something for the local paper.
But erm you know it might be more but that's
Mhm.
nothing to do with me.
But I mean like I didn't think it was worth putting it in The Post to start off with anyway.
But if we don't get a good response to this I might stick it in for the day in The Post.
Mhm.
Is the secretary at dealing with it or is she gon na forward it all on to you?
No I've put our address.
I said that I didn't like that idea to start off with
No well it
because although it's only a small concern she's gon na have her own stuff to do.
It's not just that it's the delay in it getting to you anyway.
Yeah and plus the fact I said to Mike it's all very well saying send stuff there, she can open it she'd be no wiser whether they sound any good or not.
Mm.
So I said no I said, well I've put the phone number as well and I said it might as well, stuff might as well come straight here.
Mhm.
So I 'll give her a ring later in the week or something and I 'll see if they 'll send me the send me the
Mhm.
Policing do you the drop the E, or do you leave the E in?
In.
Policing.
Erm I'd have thought you dropped it.
What shall I say cos it's it's not a very
Sergeant said he would be happy to help with the policing Oh
If you drop the E it looks like policing doesn't it?
put it in.
yeah, I think maybe you keep it in.
It's not a very nice word is it?
Well I 'm just coming to ask you that /
Staffing.
Yeah.
Double F.
Have you got the twenty five hundred plans?
I haven't got any just at the moment.
Er Sergeant will be
Beg your pardon?
Sergeant
Oh yes?
erm very pleased to help us.
As soon as we've got the layouts he'd like to meet us and go out to site.
He seems very keen to help us do this.
Right what about the er recruiting and the police cover?
He's
So do we need to write
He said on the blower
I've started it.
Yeah it's about two hundred and twenty four pages.
Is that all?
Yeah
Well he is.
He says he will do it himself.
And I said they will require cover for their breaks he fell down on that one, he doesn't think those two days.
He said oh yes, yes they could have a sandwich.
He seems very
Good.
Excellent.
Right.
Mm that doesn't
They're in the same
any records of, we had this discussion I have er any rec any, every telephone call I make.
Right
But that's because
Well that's right.
I mean it's a case, and then you end up saying yes and you don't need to record every telephone call
They're in the same drawer as the memos.
They're in the bottom
Well I mean she could
Yeah and the alternative you know Mi Mike's made calls in the past.
That's always been very important and that should be the letter so that should be on on the, on the
must be a good microphone stand surely?
Brilliant
The purpose of the meeting is only to record conversations.
Right.
Let's see where we're going.
Okay, just to put you in the picture where
No it's alright.
Go on.
Yes.
I've had several telephone calls well I've made them as well.
The advert has gone in.
I've done all enquiries about putting the advert in for the temps.
Yes.
It went to Liverpool on Friday and they were gon na do their best to get it done and
Do we know when it goes in the er
I think I told Liverpool that if it gets to erm Caernarvon to the Caernarvon office by today it will appear in this week's issue.
Do we know when that comes out?
No, I couldn't get that off her.
Off who?
Well I asked the girl and the she, we sort of sidetracked and when I come off the phone I realized that she hadn't said.
I think it's
What I 'm thinking of is that
Thursday or something like that.
Presumably after that we w or on that date we 'll start to get phone calls?
This is true.
And we need to be prepared
Yep.
because obviously er I mean if you're in
Yeah.
they can be rung through to you but p erm will need to be warned that we may get a flood of phone calls
Yeah.
and what they're about.
And also I think it might be as well to have a pro forma.
Probably you've got one.
Yeah, well no we haven't so we could probably do with doing
Oh
that and then, you know like if I get inundated I can let Jim do some.
Well that's right.
I mean really it, it's erm er we, we have a form don't we we, we use when people are interviewed for something or other?
Well if we put their name and address and phone number on it, I mean it's probably just as well to use a standard thing that you can xerox.
Yeah.
Maybe Jim and I could
And when they ring up
do that this avo
Yeah.
When they ring up we can just say oh yes, what's your?
Now look this is meant to record
this, this, this is meant to record
life as it is lived, English as she is spoken.
You're not meant to bite your tongue like that.
Right.
Yeah if we
You can swear in the privacy of your own home.
It was your company that I didn't want to swear in front of
not the tape actually
yes alright
No if we er do something so as they have a checklist and we can all, you know like me and Jim say, have a copy to say oh right, can we take your name and address, telephone number
And if you've got a pad of them or or, or some by you you can just fill it in and let it go through.
Yeah that'd be a good idea
Write the name and address and phone number down and then
Yeah.
it's there.
Okay I 'll buy that.
Cos you you 'll almost certainly need to ring them back.
Yeah.
Even if it's to say erm
Oh sorry!
sorry we've got enough.
Yeah okay.
Erm and that also makes sure, if you've got it all in front of you, erm that ensures that you're getting all the information that you need rather than thinking oh hang on, what else do I need sort of thing.
Right, so that's the temporary staff.
Yep.
So what we haven't made any progress on beyond, on that side of things is erm if we do the coding over in Caernarvon, where that will be.
Yeah.
Erm like I think we all sort of ruled out er
I don't think it's big enough is it?
Because of the size, no.
Er just out of interest I did ring the other day
Yeah right.
Er the the room, the smallest room they have is for twenty five to thirty people
Mm.
which I mean even that may be too big for what we want.
Erm in any case that is in use every week on a Monday and a Wednesday.
So already you're only talking
There was a thing about exams.
Wasn't it didn't you ring them up and they said we have exams on or something?
No.
That must be something
Something goes on in that room on a Monday and a Wednesday.
Which room is that?
That's the, I've got it in the file, a small conference room or something like that, or the committee room or something it's called.
Cos there is a room called the navigation room.
No that wasn't an that wasn't an option.
There was this one for twenty five to thirty people and then there was another one for say forty or fifty and then it zoomed up to like a hundred.
And even if we were to use this
Oh I know now, yes.
small room, you couldn't leave anything on the walls so it would all be a come down at night, back up in the morning
What erm er did you look in the file and see what they hired last time?
Erm no.
Cos it may
I mean I've probably seen it
Yeah.
but I can't remember.
Cos probably it will say what room it was.
Yeah it was this small, I
It may well have been ano
think it was this I thought it was the small
Oh it was that one was it?
Well you're talking now
Anyway
Do you want me to get it?
Er have you got it on your desk?
Yes.
Oh right
How many days are we talking about anyway? coding data.
Couple of weeks I suppose.
Right.
No wait a minute, three sites you're talking about a week and a half or something aren't we?
Yeah.
Fortnight at the most.
Yeah.
Cos you've got to allow for like they might not have done it before.
Erm but you're talking fifty eight pound a day
Mm.
for that small room which I think's a bit steep personally.
Let me take a look.
It's er
It's possible that you did get on the the
It crossed my mind.
There's The Oak's room.
Can't
The Oak's room up to a hundred and twenty.
Four pound per hour.
Sixteen pound a day.
And what are you saying it is now?
Fifty eight pound a day.
That's an awful lot more isn't it?
Yeah.
There's I mean so many of them have caught on.
Jan for example, when we had the the town hall thing, that was five pound a day.
Yeah.
It's twenty five pound a day now.
I think they've just all jumped on the bandwagon.
They don't provide anything really do they?
Well no, that's it.
So as soon as she said that it was in use Monday Wednesday I sort of
If we went to
subconsciously ruled it out.
village hall, church hall
Yeah?
which is a church hall, they don't have a charge, you have to make a contribution.
Where's this sorry?
Well you, you need to, it's pretty grotty, it's a grim place
Mm.
but it's er it's the church the parish hall in.
Whether they've got tables and stuff like that I 'm not sure.
Mm.
If you ring Roger
Yeah
and ask him.
He did investigate having a public enquiry there last year.
And erm so he will have a phone number of the vicar and so on.
Mm okay.
Okay.
I mean in a w well I can't, did we, I wonder if we recharge this to the Welsh Office or not?
We probably do.
Probably doesn't matter does it?
No I would have thought
The other thing might be to ring up Borough Council cos they've got offices in Caernarvon.
Suppose that that place they might, there might be a er a parish hall there or something
That pub would be alright wouldn't it?
Yeah.
Okay, or
That would be twenty five pound a day as well, or fifty pound a day as well.
Anyway it's a thought.
I mean if we have to
er obviously what you're saying with it's already in use and we can't have it?
Yeah.
It's not erm it's no good just saying oh we can have three days out of the week anyway.
No.
You know, it's got ta be Monday to Friday or none at all hasn't it?
Mm.
Well if it was four days it would be alright but
Mm.
anyway
Okay so they're a few options to try as regards the coding
Alright and if we can't find anyway where we 'll have to out and come back here.
Yeah.
problem as well.
I think we, we should find somewhere.
Yeah.
Really.
Erm so that's a few options as regards the coding.
Now
Right
The interviewing and the briefing session I think we 'll probably get away with in Debbie's
Yeah we're not going to, I mean we're only going to we 're, we're
Well it's not a sort of formal interview
we 'll only be briefing the interview staff
That's right.
and accounts staff.
Yeah.
So we're only talking about half a dozen
Well I think it's slightly more.
Well eight or ten or something isn't it?
Yeah.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Yeah you're talking about a dozen people, something like that aren't you?
I mean for that er
Well if necessary we can bring them into here.
Yeah.
Half a dozen and half a dozen
Yeah.
That 's, I can't see that being a problem, that should be okay.
Have you briefed before?
Yeah.
Well Mike comes out.
Mike shows his face doesn't he?
Well he did for the Wigan one.
I did it for the erm Ormskirk one
Yeah.
That was okay wasn't it?
We did that in two shifts didn't we?
Two days.
Yeah.
Two mornings.
We had a hell of a lot of staff though didn't we?
That was a, we did that in the conference room downstairs.
Mm.
Erm right.
What w w
And anyway
we now, we 've, we've also got to progress on site layout and things haven't we?
Yes.
And get in er the cones and signs.
Yeah I've had er
we, we, you've got we've got to wait till tomorrow haven't we?
That's right, yeah.
Yeah.
Now as regards signs I've spoke to numerous, oh school holidays I've got erm
when the schools are off.
Right.
I spoke to the Education Department on Friday.
Erm as regards a caravan I spoke to this bloke Frank
No he's gone bust.
Well he hasn't gone bust but they don't hire them any more
Oh right.
but I did try him.
Er no Gwyllam at Gwyneth County Council
Gwyllam oh no I 'm thinking of Peter.
erm he didn't think they had any bilingual signs and they didn't have they weren't using their Portakabins so they scrapped them all last year sold them off.
Mm.
But he did give me somebody to ring about caravans
Mm.
but then later on in the day he rung back and said he had found some bilingual signs but all he's got were about four foot square er with census point ahead.
He hasn't got things like stop census.
Stop if required or slow census point which is the ones we use.
It might be worth asking erm Mel
Yeah.
about that.
You see for a start we need to decide to we need it.
Do we need them
Bilingual?
bilingual?
They can't have been bilingual last time because they were hired from Staffordshire County Council.
No.
And the other thing er if they they just haven't got anything like that.
Yeah.
They use sort of blank
Wasn't there a big fuss though because there wasn't enough effort made on the bilingual side the last survey we did?
I don't think so was there?
There's a letter in the file
Well that's
about erm why we didn't use bilingual staff for one of the particular dates.
Erm it come from the county surveyor, apparently he'd had complaints.
But I mean it was purely a re a recruiting problem.
Er you know erm the letter, the reply went back from Dave saying that every you know, possible thing was done to get bilingual staff but at the end of the day you know they couldn't come up with the goods.
I mean the lengths they went to advertising, I hope we're gon na have more luck now.
They had temping agencies, job centres, local papers the job centre only came up with about two people.
So I 'm touching wood that we're gon na be in a different situation.
I wonder if, I wonder if erm you know if you rang up erm the county council and said you know I mean er y just make use of a contact and say look, we wan na do this survey, you know, do you happen to know a any members of your family
Yeah.
You know?
It maybe
Yeah.
You can very often er for instance at Cheshire very often I mean there were sort of some people's wives would like to do it.
Yeah.
It may be, you know?
Yeah.
See how the response goes with this and then
Who is it you've spoken to at Gwyneth?
Er Gwyllam.
And where is he?
Who, how did you get hold of him?
Erm
You rang up, did you ring up Owen?
Er no.
I spoke I just rung up erm it was Highways and Transportation and
Mm.
I asked to speak to somebody in the Highways in the Transportation
Mm.
This was at Bangor and then I got another number and then I got told that they now have the direct organisation
Right.
so then I rung this person here and spoke to a Steven
Mm.
who was the head from the civi civil engineering division.
Yeah.
Steven put me through to this Gwyllam
Right.
who is in the, the depot place.
Right.
And that's how I got on to him.
Okay.
So we've not spoken to anybody on the sort of like the traffic erm counting side of things there?
No.
No.
Okay.
So this fella was, he come up, he found these signs and said, you know, didn't know if they would be, be any good.
Erm but he'd given me this number, Glen about Portakabins.
Er he's at.
And I rung this Glen er wherever that is erm and he does have these Portakabin things.
Er several measurements
Is that, that's a hire company is it?
Yeah, they're like they've got a big fleet of them.
Erm
Right.
But they're Portakabins?
Yeah, rather than caravans.
Yeah.
Now I don't think they sound very to suit our needs.
Well you have to furnish them as well don't you?
Well that's it.
And there's all separate, two pound a table from fifty pence to one pound fifty for a chair.
There's no toilet in them
And you probably have to hire them by the week do you?
Er minimum of four weeks.
Yeah.
And how do you move them around?
Well they would move them round this fella himself, but it's gon na be a hell of a lot of money to get them to do that.
Mm that's what I would have thought.
Plus there's no toilet.
Exactly.
But he has a separate toilet.
Well that's all gon na be extra as well.
Mm.
And erm
So how much you talking about?
For a twelve foot one
Well you're talking
twenty two pounds?
Yeah.
So you're talking about eighty eight quid?
Yeah.
It would be cheaper to get David.
Yeah well I've spoke to David.
He's quite willing to take the caravan out there.
Erm and then you've got the toilet on there.
You know what you're getting because we've had it before.
So then I got back on to Gwyllam and said that if we provided our own caravan, would you someone there be willing to do the from site to site and he said that wouldn't be a problem.
Right.
But he doesn't know any details.
Okay.
Er you know I mean just like we don't.
We don't know dates or anything yet do we?
No.
So I think we've developed in that direction that I can go ahead as soon as I've got some dates and book it properly with Mr.
I think that's probably the best.
And just let these do the transporting because this this fella honest to god he was doing me head in.
Erm saying oh one left, we've got a contract with the B B C you know, isn't it.
Oh and if he said it once well he said it half a dozen times trying to impress me.
So let's stick to Mr.
We know where we are with him.
Oh right, yes well I 'm quite happy with that.
Right.
Er so the only other thing are the automatic counters then isn't it?
Mm.
Yeah.
And we, we've got to wait for erm Mel to be in tomorrow.
Haven't we?
Yeah.
And we're obviously going to ask him to
He, he
to go ahead with it.
looks after, I, I 'm not sure exactly what he does, but he does sort of look after the Welsh Office's own traffic counting programme.
Mm.
They have a sort of programme of their own on er doing counts on roads.
I mean a and most of it's done through the county councils.
So we 'll have certain sites that are counted and they have the, the equipment.
Er when we last did the work there in nineteen eighty nine he 'd, he'd provided Gwyneth with three machines which they moved round and put on different places for us.
And I think they're ones that have a cartridge in.
And the information's recorded on the cartridge.
And they take the cartridge out and they send it down to Cardiff which is where Mel is
Yeah.
and he chucks it into, bungs it into his machine and then gets the printout then which he then sends to wherever.
Ah.
So what we, we need to go to him I think in the first instance and say we want to do X Y and Z, and if he, if he says fine you know.
But if he says I 'm sorry, I haven't got the equipment we then have to go outside
Yeah.
obviously but I think you need clearly in the first instance to use that
And you're saying to also mention to me if he's got
Well I, it's just a thought.
I mean if we're gon na be speaking to him we may as well ask whether
Yeah.
just to say that we, you know, that we 'll, we, we're going, we're proposing to do some origin destination surveys interviewing, and we 'll need the signing to go with it that Gwyneth don't appear to have them and, and in consequence we're proposing to hire them elsewhere.
Erm and erm you know, we know that last time it was done er the, the signs were not bilingual, the ones census point and so on
Yeah.
and that erm is he w er would, did he think that would be a problem.
Yeah.
Cos I think last time we hired them from Staffordshire and I'd have thought if they're going to buy some they will be very happy to hire us them.
Cos presumably, when you look at the layout most of the signs are keep left signs.
Yeah.
Or you get the you get ones that are sort of road narrows
Yeah.
and you get the, the warning ones.
Yeah.
And the warning ones have a little census plate on.
Erm so presumably you perhaps need to do something about that.
But the keep left ones they're gon na have in stock aren't they?
Yeah.
So the only ones you really need and, and the, and the road narrows and the warning ones, they're all gon na be in stock.
Yeah.
So the only ones that probably need to get made are census stop if required etcetera.
So there's only three of those.
Yeah slow census and whatever.
So presumably if, if Staffordshire have them made and we get those three whizzed up to Caernarvon you know, the rest can sort of fit into place.
Cos if you put survey instead of census at the bottom, I mean I know that's not strictly speaking how it should be, but they must have signs for us to survey because they have their own, presumably they have their own surveyors go out and
Yeah.
Yeah like
you know and
you see yellow ones don't you?
On the motorway and stuff
Yeah.
they have survey on.
But they very often, that triangular one with an exclamation mark, there 'll be a little
Yeah
plate on the bottom that says survey.
yeah.
Well maybe it's not really right, but, but perhaps that I'd have thought it would be alright.
Yeah.
Census, it's probably the same in Welsh as well you know, don't you know?
Yeah, I see what you mean.
We might be able to get round it.
I 'll see what this fella says.
Well I mean I was saying to this bloke well can you think of anywhere where we might be able to, oh no no no can't think of anywhere.
Well you could try Clwyd or something but can't think everybody you know.
Clwyd might well do some.
I wonder
Oh it might be worth giving Nige a ring.
He's at Cheshire.
Oh yeah.
Who do we know at Clwyd?
Davydd.
Who?
Davydd.
Never heard of him.
He's Brian's brother is he?
no.
Okay so let's just go
He used to work for Liverpool City I think, and he was called Dave there.
Er right, just going back to the actual er roadside interview, is that one on the the B road, or is it the A?
That's the one.
Er I was only going to propose to use four staff on that.
Have a look at the, I think that's what we've done last time.
Yeah.
Okay.
Have a look at the erm we must have a count but yes, have you got that report?
Of the
Or have you given it back to me?
Well no just the oh, yes it might be on that but I the early report
the reports on the erm surveys which were done
Did you give it back?
Yes I did.
Right.
Okay.
Okay so then
Well they give us an idea of what the flow was then anyway won't it?
Yes.
And I think you're right.
And the other thing
Oh
oh we've put in a making the interview forms, just having the Welsh translation on the top.
I was explaining to Jim how we could do that and it looked pretty straightforward so or, or not.
It's
Have we got the interview forms?
That we used last time?
Mm.
Yeah but they're like four interviews on a sheet and really sort of
Yeah.
But I mean who
what, how w, what are w, have we got our current ones, our standard ones?
Yeah.
Cos presumably it would be best to use those wouldn't it?
Yeah.
I think you could, you could accommodate it if you just reduced that sli the, what the normal one slightly, and there's t there's room to put the er translation on the top.
I 'll do you a mock up of that and see what you
Yes, good idea.
what you think.
I think either that or have it on a separate sheet.
But I would have thought it's best to put it on there if we can.
How many are we gon na want?
Three thousand?
Perhaps it's worth having a separate print run for that isn't it?
Yeah, might be.
It's not I think if they use this offset thing, the masters last about five hundred so you're not it's not, it's not a silly amount.
Yeah.
Would it take, oh wait a minute!
Three thousand interviews
What
say, would you think three thousand interviews?
I 'm just trying to think what we were averaging.
But I mean that one of them's not gon na you're not gon na get as many on that B road.
Will we will we want those?
Oh I can't remember you know what we used for Ormskirk
It doesn't matter if we if we get too many cos you can always use
Well that's it.
Can't you?
Yeah.
Mm.
If you see what I mean.
Yeah.
Well so you think actually send something through to reprographics for them to do in Liverpool?
Well you don't want to be doing it on the machine down here do you?
No.
And if you got three thousand interviews, say a thousand at, well y you probably wouldn't, you'd probably get
Probably two of those boxes would do wouldn't it?
you could get nearly four thousand interviews couldn't you, altogether?
Yeah.
At two on a page is two thousand sheets plus however many you'd only get one on.
So I'd have thought three thousand wasn't out of the way really.
And like you say if there's some left they won't go to waste anyway.
No.
Oh on the other hand I suppose we could say well we 'll use, we 'll get some and if we run out we 'll use English ones.
If you do it that way, you know, by the time they get there they should know what the questions are shouldn't they?
Yeah.
Excuse me, by the time you run a
Cos we hold the original to that.
To the interview
Well we 'll need some anyway.
Yeah.
We've probably, I mean we, we hold the original on an A three so it might be worthwhile doing a copy of it.
Doctoring it
Oh I see yeah.
to insert the Welsh because John will have to send the original off for
Oh right.
Yes.
We 'll have a look
And then we can have the base copy of each then couldn't we?
Good.
I 'll, I 'll dig it out after.
Yeah, right.
Right, is there anything else?
So, yeah there is.
Erm things like whether I 'm using my car and stuff I suppose I need to speak to Mike about?
I haven't done anything about that.
Right.
Erm
erm statutory undertakers?
Bus companies
Yes we 'll need to write to all those and we 'll need to write we need to write to the police
Yeah.
on in two guises don't we?
Partly because we're doing a survey but partly to warn partly because of the emergency services aspect.
Yeah.
So we need to write to the police to er I suppose the thing to do is we write in a general way to the, the Chief Constable, North Wales police
Yeah.
which is I think in Colwyn Bay
Yeah it is.
and but when it comes to actually organising the police control of the survey sites, we, we speak to the erm traffic inspector at wherever it is.
I 'm not sure
Right so who did you say in Colwyn Bay?
What what
Just write to the Chief Constable.
I think we need to write three letters.
One to the police, one to the ambulance, one to the fire brigade just saying we're proposing to do them.
Obviously that 'll have to be when we've fixed the sites
Yeah.
and the dates are on.
Yeah we 'll do this
But that's normal.
general letter to the police saying that we're intending to do these surveys, just putting them in the picture and put a note in that erm once, you know, dates and whatever, you know, we 'll give you further details as and when we know
Well I wouldn't, I don't think I'd worry about writing to them until we've got the dates.
Oh okay.
Oh I suppose we've got ta, oh well what did we do last time?
I remember the problem was last time sending those little plans out, the Ormskirk you know?
Give them the drawing number so we sent a transmittal note, course we never got a transmittal note back.
It's best to avoid that.
Yeah.
Erm right well I think the thing to do is, on beyond that is to make sure we work through the checklist.
Okay?
Erm Now layouts, site layouts.
Yeah maps and things.
So are you leaving the ball in my court on that?
On what?
On the statutory undertakers.
Cos I can probably get some information out of here.
I think i if you want er I mean you're quite happy to draft a letter?
Yeah.
I mean that's a
I mean again
standard thing that goes to all of them
we need to write them, warn yeah, and we ask them to let us know what they've got planned don't we?
Yeah.
So you could send them a letter with a little diagram that
Yeah.
I wonder how good that is, yes I think that's alright isn't it?
Then they wouldn't they'd understand what we, that meant wouldn't they?
Yeah but that's got specific things on.
True.
Yeah well all we did for Ormskirk was, it was just an O S map and we just drew a bloody great circle round it
and said this is the study area.
That's probably the best thing isn't it?
Yeah.
And blow up
an O S and just well within our sites and everything
But don't give it a drawing number.
No.
It's just attached to the letter.
Yes.
Now you get your, you've got your list of who you want to write to?
Yeah.
If you check with erm Dennis because they're doing all, you know, doing the contract documents, he could confirm all the, the current addresses.
Okay.
That alright?
Yeah.
You're sounding a bit weary.
No that's alright
There's no rush about this, I mean er you know, you've got well
Well there is up to a point because you know how bad they are at responding.
Yes there is.
I mean er what I mean is it needs to be done this week sort of thing.
Yes.
Oh that's okay I 'll get all them off.
I 'll do a, I 'll do a draft letter this afternoon, you can have a look at it, erm we 'll knock a plan up and her get the addresses and then that's it's easy then in n it?
Yeah.
I wonder if we do want to put it in
Oh sshh
You've finished your mi meeting already Mike?
Right, well let's, okay.
Er, yes.
Sorry about that.
No it's alright we're only trying to work somewhere, somewhere quiet.
I suddenly thought that on the advert that's gone in
Yeah there's a chair here.
On the advert that's gone in I did wonder whether to put please respond by such and such a date?
Don't worry about it.
You don't think it's necessary?
If they don't respond by the date, you know do it quickly
Yeah.
they're not interested.
Okay.
That's all we did for the statutory undertakers.
Dead simple.
Just drew them a whacking great circle round it and
Yeah, good.
Okay?
So something similar
Excellent.
Something like that yes.
Yes.
Erm
So I 'll speak to Dennis for er addresses.
Is there a phone number in the ad or just an address?
A phone number as well yeah.
Oh right.
I think most people ring.
You know cos it
wastes so much time.
Your name?
Yeah.
But we 'll just have a word with Anna-Lee and if, I think you know, she 'll say what's it concerning and if I 'm not there well she can put them through to you.
Okay.
Erm so you say, are we saying that we're gon na leave the police till we've got some dates?
And the
Well we know when we're gon na do it don't we?
Do we?
Well we know it's the last week in April or something
Yeah.
don't we?
Well we wan na know whether we were gon na try and do them all in that week?
Twenty seventh of April.
Monday Tuesday Thursday.
I think the plan that goes to to the police thank you needs to show the i interview sites on it.
You remember we had, on the Ormskirk one we did one that had a study area on it?
Yeah.
But we also had one that showed the individual locations.
Yeah.
And I think that was the one that went to the police.
Right.
Er and the fire brigade and, and so on.
Yeah cos they 'll want to know.
Well that's it.
Yeah.
And all you're doing is warning them that they will, the things will be there and we 'll make sure that if a emergency vehicle comes along erm
But they will know your precise dates won't they?
Well they 'll want to know precise dates.
I can't remember that we did actually.
No I don't know whether we do give them, even the precise dates.
It isn't really much use then is it, just giving them a rough?
Well it's only a warning.
Well we 'll have a look back in, I 'll have a look back in the file and see what we did last time.
Erm Do you wan na do that, have a look at what we'd said in Ormskirk
Yeah.
on that side of things?
Yeah.
I think I wrote to them if I remember rightly.
Well I didn't.
Erm now we need to do something about layout plans.
So we need to get some if we're going to work on ordnance survey ones we 'll need to sort something on that.
Have to have a chat with Anyway you're not in an immediate rush to do that are you?
No.
The, the yeah.
What have you told only you haven't told Gwyllam anything have you?
Cos you, what you've told him is did you talk about chapter eight?
No.
No.
I, I just said to him, when he said we've got these census point ahead I said well we've got certain restrictions, you know, we've certain rules and regulations we've got ta comply with I mean I didn't reel off any of this blah.
But I said oh, are you familiar with setting up roadside interviews and for this type of thing?
Oh yes, we've got such and such a fella out there that does nothing but that out all day long.
And yet they didn't have any signs so I think he's talking through his hat.
But what he probably means is that they set up signs for
Yeah.
you know, roadworks and stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I mean I would have thought they've got ta comply with the same
Yeah.
the same sort of things.
I think the thing is, actually, just thinking about it, there will be a Welsh version of this if there is one if you see what I mean?
Yeah.
If there isn't one then we, we er er it er oh mind you I suppose there's no hassle to them to put a Welsh thingy, anyway I 'll look at that.
Right, now the other thing is that what Jim's doing which is that programme, how is that coming along?
Yeah.
What I did was I got I went down to the print room and I got a piece of A one paper and I mean if you want to use Chris
Chris over in Chester office, see if, that one would, oh mind you there isn't a chair there is there?
Mind you is Jonathan away?
There's this chair here.
Jonathan's not here.
Is Jonathan away?
Yes, two day a day and a half or something, two days?
Right.
So, you know, there's desks around anyway
Mm
that you could use
Okay.
and erm er that's what I used if you want to borrow that you can.
Thanks.
And do it in pencil and just, and then we can rub it out
yes.
and change things and so on, yeah.
Well it's easy to change isn't it?
Because presumably Peter will need to incorporate that in an overall programme.
When we look at the highway side.
So it's just the traffic side which I 'm dealing with here?
Yes.
Cos that's all I 'm dealing with.
Okay and perhaps erm perhaps you'd also like to l would you like to look at this side of things as well?
Incorporate that into it?
No, the, the layout plans, do, do some layout plans.
Oh yeah sure.
Marty's done them before you see haven't you?
Yep.
So I 'm, I 'm just trying to look at the ones for and then we 'll go from there.
Okay, is that alright?
Yeah.
Now, have I given either of you task schedules for this
No.
stuff?
So I need to do that don't I?
Er in fact I never gave telephone call it's no good telling me to do something
Task schedules, ooh I 'll have to get the form.
Okay, so you want a task schedule for doing doing the traffic report?
Mhm.
Mm yeah?
Yeah.
And also for doing the programme.
Yeah?
And you want a task schedule for organizing this, it's a bit unspecific isn't it?
Yeah.
Okay.
Erm how is that then?
Er you happy to leave things as they are for the minute?
Carry on on that basis?
Yeah, the only other thing like when you were saying about site layouts, if there's any maps that we need, and that's including maps for coding, wall maps, you know, large scale.
Well obviously we've got to progress into that.
We need to prepare some zone plans and gazetteers maybe.
Yeah.
Erm oh well I 'll er the other thing I was thinking of is that er we could be looking er towards beginning, you know even now, to doing a trips network and things like that.
There's no real reason why you, say, shouldn't start to build up the data on that.
Yeah.
Erm y y you know you, you could do a diagram and presumably the person to speak to would be Billy or maybe Peter cos I think Peter did the bulk of the work.
Okay.
Beverley did a lot of the actual sort of dogsbody work, you know, the actual doing of it.
Erm so you need to build up a picture of what you've got erm but there's no real reason why we shouldn't be working on that now it seems to me.
Er in principle.
Yes beginning, you know, we, we know what we're trying to do obviously we don't necessarily know every, every node in the network erm Cos obviously once you start doing that, or when we start doing tr the, the journey run things erm we're going to need to know what we're wanting.
So there 'll be two sides of it c er
Well there, there won't be any will there?
Erm
Mm.
But anyway I mean it's all part of the picture.
What I 'm getting at is there's no reason why we need, we should wait until after the surveys to start looking at trips.
Which is what happened on Ormskirk.
Mind you it was partly because we didn't get a programme.
But there's no reason, and on as well.
Alright?
Right, so me and Jim had a chat the other day just looking at the the roadside entries and the counts and I was sort of saying if we work on the basis that we want between ten and twelve people, twelve people maximum
Mm.
erm I think we're be able to do all the counts with that number of people including the St David's roundabout and
Mm.
but we do need to clarify exactly what you want on that.
Whether you want samples doing cos that's gon na take more people, or whether you're just doing ins and outs and stuff like that.
Well
And on the other roundabout for that matter.
Are you off?
Yeah I've got a seminar in Manchester.
Oh right.
How did it go?
Fine.
Probably find that traffic percent
we're just talking now this, this is, this is one we're discussing.
Oh well just south of Caernarvon on the first section erm between Caernarvon and?
Yes.
Yeah.
Gwyneth haven't really started on doing any of that work yet.
work.
And they need to do traffic.
And also they need to confirm the traffic erm turning 099 junction at er I can never pronounce it, beginning with an L.
Yeah.
And er maybe count, maybe do their traffic counts out of that as well.
So the guy that was in charge of those schemes with Gwyneth
Yeah.
was at the meeting or came into the meeting to explain about the schemes.
What's his name?
Erm
Peter will know.
Peter's got his name down.
Cos that was one of the things we talked about
Vernon somebody or other I think his name was.
Vernon
need to contact them.
Yes, need to do that this week.
But they, this, these, well he's got a copy now of the report and he's gon na c comment back on what
Do Welsh Office want any more
bits
copies of that?
So that's fine, good.
erm and they should comment this week about what extra bits they think they could perhaps cover.
So maybe a few more turning counts the census
Mm.
Right.
And that wasn't where I well I haven't been
particularly looking for work from that particular
to know is they raised er the question about the er counts we're doing for the Caernarvon link
Yes.
which is part of this study.
Yes.
They want us to divorce the staff time
Yeah.
and charge it against the Caernarvon job.
Right.
The Caernarvon link job?
Yeah which is to our benefit cos we get
Mm.
What about the work for Gwyneth?
If that's extra
What do we charge that to?
That is bypass.
They don't want us to charge it to extra to works?
We could have a two point six seven multiplier
No.
Er er er as far as they're concerned any extra work is just an enhancement of the rate to the bypass erm rate, point six two percent.
That was what pointed out.
He pointed out?
Any
said we need approval for extra work
Yeah.
he said well it's just, it's time costs, it's just an extension of the
Right.
Except for the Caernarvon bit.
Right.
Are they wanting a budget figure from us?
We're gon na have to put
What was Paul saying about the wedding then?
Only said who he invited.
I said, I said have you invited Aunty Joan and them?
He said oh I've invited Aunty Joan but nobody else cos I didn't fancy any of the others.
And has he invited Joan to the day do and that?
Yeah.
But he hasn't invited any to the night.
I think I might have his conscience by saying that I don't mind.
Well for what they see I can understand him asking Joan and Graham erm maybe they've got ta watch how much they're
I know but an extra four people's not gon na cost that much more is it?
Shut up.
You little sod.
The cat?
Yeah.
Oh I 'm shattered.
Why I asked him is because he had a wedding invitation for Rob and Jen
Yeah.
Well to be honest I can understand why he's not asking them.
You know they 'll make up with friends you know, what family they're not asking won't they?
Oh aye.
No it's not as if you're all close is it?
No.
And I mean we haven't seen them since ours hardly have we?
No
Watch this fool.
Ram him off the road.
Oh I had a really good day today.
I didn't go till about half ten ah no cos I had a few letters and stuff to write first and I thought right I 'll just take me time and, cos I wanted to I didn't wan na go faster than you know than I should, I should have done sort of thing cos I wanted to time it properly.
Erm it took me an hour and a quarter.
And it's exactly sixty miles into the middle of Caernarvon.
So I
And that's where the survey's gon na be, right in the middle is it?
Well no but that's where I had to go.
See you can allow a few extra miles for getting
Oh.
to the others.
So you wan na allow yourself a an hour and half really don't you?
Do you think, or not?
Well I don't think so because that, I mean there won't be any traffic hardly
No.
when I 'm going so I 'll just allow the same.
And then I should do it in an hour.
You know I 'll be leaving at about half five.
No, not b about quarter past five I 'll be leaving, five to quarter past.
That's allowing a a good hour and a quarter.
But it's not gon na take me longer at that time of the morning than it has done today at eleven o'clock or so is it?
Coming home it took me a bit longer cos it was all that delay at the hill.
Oh aye that's right I heard it on the radio.
Yeah oh it's pathetic.
Oh no the rest of it, it's not too bad, it's not a bad journey, it's quite pleasant really.
So I went straight to the county offices and saw the rooms you know where we're going to
Yeah.
be doing the coding.
Dead smart.
I was really into that.
Can you put the stuff on the walls?
Erm I 'm not gon na put them on the walls.
They've got you know like these big boards, free standing boards
Yeah.
they have.
Like a pin board thing?
Yeah.
Gon na have some of them there's three I think and they're really long ones.
Er so I 'm gon na have them but she showed me the small room, what they call the small room, well that was huge well it will be perfect for what we want.
Really plush, you know all the carpets
Mm.
and everything?
Erm and then she said oh and this is the other one and it was like all er it was bigger again obviously, and all the tables in a square
Like a conference type
Yeah but each seat ooh excuse me each seat had a microphone built into the desk.
Oh aye?
But I thought that'd be more of a hindrance than a help
Yeah.
for what we were doing so when I got back to the office I rung and I tempor well provisionally booked this, the smallest of the two which I think will be brill.
So
So what did she say about the money when you tried her for less money?
Or didn't you actually say?
Well that one you have to ring the head office in Bangor, I had to ring her when I got back.
They only er showed me the rooms, they do the bookings and I just said
And it's actually in the like the council offices?
Yeah.
They have all like them chambers there as well you know?
But I just said that it was for the Welsh Office cos I thought if er they knew it was for a Authority you know?
Yeah.
I said do you, do you think there'd be any discount er with it being a block booking?
And she didn't say no full stop, she said oh she said I 'm not sure she said, I'd have to enquire about that.
So I just thought she's gon na yeah if it was out of the question she could have said oh no that's it, there's a flat rate so I
Yeah.
think she's gon na ask
thing is with them Welshies they probably haven't tried to bloody they haven't got the sense.
No.
If somebody else was trying to book it, one of those Welshy types, they haven't got the sense to ask
No, I said well I said that I'd appreciate it cos it's worth a go and she said oh yes I agree with you there.
Which field's Min in?
Not any of these.
So that was good.
Ooh I can't stop yawning.
So then I thought oh I 'll go and find er the offices again, Church Street.
And we'd gone a roundabout way the last time we were there and I thought oh I 'll give it a go, anyway I walked straight down this road, have a look oh yes, turn up here anyway I, I sort of got me bearings and I thought oh yes it's just down here he's in the field just down there.
Is he?
Do you wan na go or not or go straight to your nan 's?
Go straight to nan 's, call on the way back.
If it isn't too late.
Couldn't see him.
Erm so I went straight to this place and there was a fella downstairs, his secretary was erm out on her lunch.
Anyway I said oh I said you're not expecting me, said who I was and where I was from.
I said I called in to see either Michael or the secretary, Mirelda her name is.
Mm.
And er so he said alright.
I said I 'm also gon na be che cheeky and see if I can use your toi he said oh yes he said, go and help yourself he said there's a kettle down there, make yourself a drink, make yourself at home.
So anyway I thought I won't have a drink cos if this secretary wasn't there I didn't know how long she'd be so er but I di I went upstairs to where we had the meeting with Mike the other week.
And erm Joe his partner was there so I had a really good chat to him.
What do you mean his partner like?
Is it just like a little firm?
And this Michael's one of the partners in the firm?
No there's just them in the office.
Oh aye.
They've merged with us now.
Erm so I had a chat to him.
He drew me a little plan of how to get to W H Smiths and that.
What the hell do you wan na go to Smiths for?
Maps.
So I had a walk up the town and called in Tesco's and got a bit of shopping.
Got some teabags.
Did you?
Yeah.
Is it much of a place, Caernarvon?
Not really.
They have a market there don't there?
On a Saturday yeah.
So I went to Smiths, got this map
What and do a photocopy?
But I don't think I 'll need it.
It's just a one to twenty five thousand, a Pathfinder.
Cos I picked up the Chester to Wrexham one instead of the Snowdonia one.
Caernarvon's on the Snowdonia map.
Ah.
An O S one to fifty thousand and that's what I thought I'd picked up this morning to take with me but when I looked it was Chester and Wrexham so it didn't do me much good.
So I thought oh well I 'll buy this other one and
Claim it back off the firm?
Yes.
Three pound ninety something chicken butties and bag of crisps and that, it was nice.
Cos I'd parked on the top of this multi-storey car park at the offices, is it called?
Erm I parked on the top.
So it wasn't all dark and that
Mm.
cos I wanted to be looking at me plans.
And I ate me butty there on top.
In the pouring bloody rain and howling wind I expect.
It was, yeah it was horrible.
So then I just had a drive round all the sites.
Did you find them all alright?
Yeah.
I know where I 'm going now with er all of them.
You know and getting to them, I know how to get from one to the other without going, you know?
All round the houses.
I've got a good idea of where everywhere is.
So I was quite pleased.
Mm.
When I got back ooh you know I told you about that job?
We've put a bid in for Arrow Park.
Mm.
Rob thinks we've got it.
Oh god.
Winning some bloody jobs aren't you.
What have they done, dropped their prices?
Well Rob's doing them isn't he?
Oh they have had to drop their prices.
They've had to go for the we did them a few sort of quotes on the survey side of this Arrow Park and er we've got ta, you know, really stick to this tight budget because it's the only way you can get them no matter what people are telling you erm about the recession being over, people still want things for nothing.
So this survey might have to be done at the beginning of April.
But it's not a big one so
Well when's these in Caernarvon, the end of April?
Starting the twenty seventh of April.
It's the weekend after's wedding?
Yeah.
So I shall be enjoying myself at the wedding
Mm.
ready for my hard slog.
Eh?
You 'll be knackered.
I know.
Er yeah so we 'll have this thing at Arrow Park to do.
He's hoping to do that.
We 'll looking into doing we need to know how many cars gone in, how many cars go out
Into the?
of the hospital grounds.
But there's residential sections as well.
And then see how long each vehicle stayed there.
There's two entra entrances
You 'll have to er take the registration of every bloody car!
That's what we are doing.
Jesus god!
It's probably because they're taking over the er accident and emergency department from Clatterbrick it's shutting down and it's all going to Arrow Park.
Well that's not why we're doing it.
Well it is.
That's what's happening, it was on the radio the other day.
This is just well I mean it maybe connected with that but we're doing it because they want to increase the car parks.
So we're looking to do it with tape recorders on the busiest entrance and you know and just say car D five one four R G M blah blah blah.
Get them all down and then the person on the quieter entrance can just write them down.
But you don't necessarily have to say the whole number.
You know you can just say D five one four.
Well that's what you wan na, so much quicker wouldn't it, just say the Escort D five one four.
Yeah, you don't even have to say the the make.
And then erm they all get punched into the, Rob's got a special computer programme thing, you punch them all in er and then it does a ma a matching thing.
And it come, at the end of the day it comes out with all the ones it's matched, the duration it's been there and er makes it a damned sight easier basically.
Should be quite good.
Then we've got in June we're supposed to be doing journey time surveys and traffic counts on the M sixty three.
I won't get off at this one, no?
No.
I 'll get off at the
Erm now they're talking of doing roadside interviews in both directions on the motorway on the slip roads.
Be a big job that will.
Yeah.
So I hope it comes off.
Loads of money, you 'll be minted.
Yeah.
It's about time we got something, don't, you know for months we scratched round looking like we're busy, now we're meeting ourselves backwards, coming backwards.
Better that way though in n it?
Days go
Yep.
But I mean I 'm already starting stopping later, unintentionally you know, just cos I wan na finish something.
Here I turn now do I?
Yeah.
Well that this is the bloody supermarket.
Well where was the turning?
I've never
Course you do.
I don't.
Yes you do.
Er yeah I've already got over thirty hours credit.
And you're not supposed to have more than thirty even though Mike's got about a hundred and three.
Mm.
How the hell he's wangled it, honest to god!
Well he must be fiddling it cos he, he's never bloody worked it.
No.
So erm and I, I can't just take a flexi-day because I 'm already, I've already got leave to use.
So I 'm gon na see how I get on an if I keep doing it I 'm just gon na get it as overtime.
What are you having?
Fish and chips?
Are you coming in?
No, I don't wan na see Jean.
Oh she's there.
There she is.
She's doing the n
Are we late?
Yep.
the chips.
Yeah.
Cooeee
Cooeee
She's probably asleep.
Probably.
Sorry!
Couldn't hear you.
Ooh
How are you?
I couldn't hear you shout.
I know, I couldn't long time getting
Well I was allowing you time with your leg but we thought you've got the telly on loud.
Oh aye I have really, yes
Have you?
We've been in chinky we've brought our tea.
we've brought our tea.
We've been to the chippy, we haven't had any tea yet.
Haven't you?
So can we eat them here please?
Yeah.
Right you take them in there the table.
Yeah we can do, saves stinking out in here.
You'd better put something on it.
Yeah.
Oh there's nothing to
I 'll not ask you in there with the table because there wasn't enough room.
The what?
There's a little table there, a little folding table there.
Yeah?
Shall we take that?
Put it here?
Yeah.
?
Oh aye.
No I 'm alright there.
Go on go and sit on
No I 'm grand.
No you wan na rest your leg.
Ooh don't matter about resting me r about resting me leg.
I r used to.
That's right.
We've just been to see Jean there at the chippy.
Oh have you been?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is that alright there?
Yeah.
Now then.
Where's mine?
Let's get you organized.
Looks like a teddy bears' picnic
Want plates?
No we 'll have them out of the paper, we 'll save on washing up, thank you.
Go cut you some bread?
I 'm alright, I d I want a butty thank you.
Michael how, how many rounds do you want?
Oh just one ta.
It's er who erm wholemeal.
Aye, just one thanks.
Only one?
Yep...
So they'd better be nice seeing as we've been all the way
Just get me the marge out of there
to.
Yeah, there it is, Vitalite.
Vitalite.
Oh aye.
Super.
So how's your leg?
Ooh
Any easier?
Ooh it comes and goes Martine, it's nearly driving me daft to be honest.
Oh is it?
Is it gone a bit easier?
Has it gone a bit easier for you?
What?
What do you want?
What do you want?
Er just do you want one or two?
One.
Please.
Two.
Just just one.
One.
Yeah.
I don't want one thank you.
You know where the salt and vinegar is don't you?
Oh aye.
It's already on them thanks.
There's plenty on them, they're alright.
Oh there in er in the cupboard there.
Is your nan okay?
Do you want a few chips on a plate nan?
No thanks I've only
Are you sure?
I've only just got just had a big dinner love.
Have you?
What have you had?
I had a la lamb chop cabbage
Ooh.
roast potatoes rhubarb, stewed rhubarb, Ron's stewed rhubarb.
Lovely.
And cream.
Nothing like looking after yourself.
Oh it was very nice and it's his first rhubarb.
Mm.
Me mum
give your mum a cou just a couple of sticks.
Yeah she was only saying ours has started to come through
Yeah.
up at.
Oh they are nice
Mm.
Teddy bears' picnic this nan.
What love?
Teddy bears' picnic.
Ooh.
Don't bother with a plate for that.
Nan.
Just a minute love.
What did you say?
I, he could have had that straight on the paper.
Alright?
Thank you.
What did you say?
I said there was no need to have got him a plate.
Spoiling him, he doesn't have a plate at home for his bread and butter.
Well y your dad likes a lot of a out of the paper, I du n no.
It ta tastes nicer out of a paper.
Oh they do.
If I, if I 'm out yes, I li I like them in a pa in a, in a paper, you know, but er I've got no cake to offer you, I can't some biscuits.
No, I 'll be alright after this.
No ta.
alright with this thanks.
No?
We haven't had chips for ages have we?
Haven't you?
No.
No.
Oh well if you haven't had chi or haven't done for a long time you enjoy them.
I er you do.
Nan you 'll love why don't you go back and watch your programme and have a sit down and we won't be two ticks eating these.
Your mum had a what did she have?
Oh she'd been up to Pearks
Mm?
She bought a steak and kidney pie now then, no she didn't have chips steak and kidney pie and some er couple of iced buns, she bought me a, an ordinary pie.
Oh yeah?
So I had that at dinner time.
Mm.
Oh me mum's been here today?
And she called she did ask the girl for er two er cream doughnuts
Yeah?
and she, she's a new girl, your mum said
Hmm
and she gave her iced buns.
Oh!
There was all sort of icing on and cream as well.
But I must admit they were very nice.
They were nice.
Little devils.
Oh.
Me mum's been here today has she?
Yeah, she come about half past twelve?
Oh she said yesterday she might call.
Half past twelve.
Mm.
And she went from here about er well she said she was going at quarter past two.
I said it is quarter past two if you I 'm not pushing you off but you've got to be somewhere on time.
Yeah.
have a we had a bit of a chat
Good.
and er she went sort of thing.
Mhm.
So I always take my dinner in there.
Well aye, might as well have a bit of comfort.
And and then I come back in here, I always get my sweet and take that back again.
I watch Blockbusters
Oh yes, we had ab er well while you were in the shower.
and then I always stop and watch the news.
So I come er come in here after and er washed up
Mhm.
and I'd just peeled an orange to be honest
I just fancied an orange, I thought oh
Here you are
And I'd just that very minute sat down.
Why don't you go and sit down again and we 'll come in as soon as we've finished these.
Oh aye.
So you can rest your leg.
Are you sure you don't want any biscuits only I haven't any?
No we're alright thanks.
thanks.
I 'm fine.
I 'll be too full up
Not I am without cake but Irene brought me some small ones yesterday
Mhm.
and I've only just finished our, our Christmas er bun loaf sort of thing, you know
Have you?
Anyhow
No this is fine.
Right, I 'll go and finish my orange.
Okay, we won't be a minute.
Ooh you're gon na have a cup of tea aren't you?
Well are you having one?
Are you having one anyway nan?
Yes, there's the water in the kettle and everything in.
Well o I 'll, if you put it to boil
Okay.
They're nicer than our chips.
Do you want tea bags or loose tea?
Anything.
Whatever's easiest.
Do you want tea Martine or lemonade or?
Erm I 'll have tea please, yeah.
We usually have a cuppa after don't we?
Mhm.
Just saying nan
Pardon?
I 'm just saying these chips are nicer than the Bottley chips.
Are they?
Oh aye, we 'll be coming here again.
Your dad always likes them from here.
Yeah.
Oh they're your mum and dad now aren't they?
Yeah.
Got nowhere local for chips.
Oh lovely, thank you.
Smashing.
You get a good One thirty, that's not bad is it that?
Now then I 'm going to leave you to it.
Okay, we 'll be through in a minute.
I 'll just go and finish my orange.
You don't mind?
No.
We 'll be through in a bit.
I think we pay more than that?
Probably.
I think fish is over a pound, yeah.
Fish is normally about one twenty odd, oh aye.
So with the chips as well this is about one sixty.
The chips are fifty.
Mm.
Oh, think he's charged.
Or does three sixty sound more like it?
Erm three sixty that would be one eighty.
Mm.
Yeah maybe it was three sixty.
get pots of tea?
Is your nan having any?
She must be having one, put them straight in the cups.
They're one cup things.
She must have made one.
How?
didn't she?
Yep.
Ooh come on.
Struggling a bit now.
Do you want any more chips?
Aye.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Seriously?
Mm.
Do you want more?
No.
Mm.
Oh I really enjoyed them
It was a good idea of mine I thought.
Have to take the door off the hinges to get your head out if it gets any bigger.
You 'll have to check them teas, one's got a little bit less sugar than the other.
Well which one?
I don't know.
Well you made them.
all mixed up now.
What are you like?
Oh pardon me.
Let's get past you with this chair.
It's lovely not having any washing up.
I 'll wash me fork.
Nice cutlery that isn't it?
Mm.
It's old.
Right.
That wasn't, there's nothing wrong with that.
God you've gone mad with the sugar in yours.
Do you want it topped up?
No.
Er ooh bit sweet in n it? square spoon.
You can't drink it with what?
With a square spoon.
Of er sugars
Oh.
How do I do this without trapping me fingers?
Ooh, god there's some weight in there.
Put it all back as we found it eh?
Best had.
Could you take my coat through please.
Yes.
It's on the chair.
Go on.
Oh?
Oh erm who is he?
He was in that erm what was it called?
Alan Bleasdale, you know that fella that did Boys from the Black Stuff
Oh aye?
Erm he was in one of his plays.
Brookside.
Oh is it him?
I thought it was the fella that had the nervous twitch.
Is it?
Oh aye of course it is yeah.
What was it called?
Erm ooh I can't remember what it's called.
I don't know any
He's been in a few things.
Oh is this the new
Robert Lindsey his name isn't it?
Robert Lindsey.
Robert Lindsey Mike says his name is.
Mm.
Is this the new top me dad put on?
Yes.
Eh it's posh isn't it?
Ooh I 'm pleased with it, yeah.
This is the one is it that had like er wicker work?
Aye well it was all
All fraying.
it was all I was ashamed of getting it out
Well it's lovely that cos it's like you can put your drinks on it as well and your cup of tea and that.
Well Mary, she's got one
Yeah.
but it's not such a nice stool as this, it hasn't got the knobs on like that.
No.
And it's a little bit higher.
And her brother-in-law had put a piece of wood on the top
Yeah.
for her and I knew it was only hardboard, well knowing your dad I knew he wouldn't put
Yeah.
hardboard on.
No.
So I did just ask him er just come to me right out of the blue when he was here one night.
And I thought well it's going to be awkward to get a piece of wood for that I mean knowing your dad with wood I know Anyhow I said er it's just the right height for me
Yeah.
for my for my leg.
So I said to er your mum one night oh I said can I have the stool back?
I said I know it's awkward getting a piece of wood so she said yeah, that's about three weeks ago.
Anyhow er and when she was on the phone the other day I said to Irene oh er Muriel says I 'll bring it next time I come I 'll bring it.
Yeah.
So er anyhow when er she was on the phone Sunday night I said oh I said er ask Muriel would she bring that stool back when she comes.
So er I never expected to have it like that.
No.
I said tell her I can always put the the s bit of a square over it
Yeah.
to cover the holes in the bit like raffia it was wasn't it?
Yeah.
Well he's varnished it as well.
So it's er what is it? chipboa mi chi
What er plywood?
Chip wood er no
Chipboard is it?
Plywood that.
Plywood.
Is it plywood?
Aye.
That's it then.
So your mum got it from er Spectrum.
So your dad said well haven't I been soft?
I've never thought about it before.
Yeah.
it's grand.
It's given a new lease of life hasn't it?
So ooh I said I 'm thrilled to bits with that.
It's give it a new lease of life.
I bet you've had it years haven't you?
Pardon?
You 've, have you had it years, the stool?
Donkey's years I bet.
Oh years.
It was a sister-in-law of mine that bought it.
Yeah.
Your granddad's er sister.
Was it?
And she was er always troubled with her nerves.
And she used to go back and to for treatment to
Yeah.
Denbigh.
And I used to look after her husband while he was, while she was away getting his dinner and things
Yeah?
and er they used to ma er she made it there.
Did she?
You know?
They had these classes for er
Good god.
craft classes for them.
So she made it.
Ah!
And I mean like, to me it means a lot to me as well
Yeah.
sort of thing.
So and it has lasted all those years.
Mhm twenty, twenty five years old.
Good god.
A stool.
So it's had a new lease of life with that hasn't it?
Yes!
So I said ooh I said I
Me and Nicola always used to love it.
she said oh look what's the, what's the matter with the stairs?
Oh I said I 'm thrilled to bits with that.
Mm right.
Aye.
Me and Nicola used to fight to get on that.
Pardon?
Me and Nicola always used to love it when we
Yeah.
came her.
We used to fight to get on it.
Oh anyhow
Smashing.
That's it.
And er telly's been off.
The colour
Oh god!
I've got it back two or three times and then I failed it in the end.
And aye your mum said today well I 'll, I 'll see if I can get it er can do anything with it
Yeah.
and she got it back straight away so that's alright again now.
It's only on I T V, the colour had gone.
Oh it's annoying isn't it?
Aye.
Ours keeps going
It's annoying and yet it was better than a p
Well.
And I d I use I T V more than er
Yeah.
B B C one really.
So anyhow that's it.
Ha!
You busy?
Very busy in work.
I've been out and about today, I've been to Caernarfen today.
You have?
Yeah, by myself.
Mm.
Cos we've got, you know like we did in Ormskirk, these roadside interviews?
We've got some of those to do.
Erm and I 'm all in charge of it.
So I 'll be expecting a big pay rise at the end of it.
Ooh lovely.
I've got quite a bit of responsibility to do.
So that's that.
Jan's got er the sa Jan's doing the same as me
Yeah?
but she's in L doing hers in Leek in Staffordshire.
So we've both got it takes me an hour and a quarter to get to Caernarfen and it takes Jan about an hour and a half to get to Leek because they're such bad roads.
Yeah, I was going to say bet it's bad getting there.
It is, it's not very nice at all.
But er so we're very busy.
Which is better than ooh pardon me, than being bored.
Yeah.
So work's alright.
Ooh very good.
Mike's still in Ellesmere Port working.
Doesn't know how long the work's gon na stay there.
No?
They seem to there doesn't seem to be much left to do but yet they're still going there and everything.
But er that's Steve's ma you know it's it's Steve that sorts that out, his boss.
Oh very good.
Yes.
Aye.
Aah!
Mike put that light on, you can't read
I can see plenty that one thanks.
Oh.
I 'm only flicking through it.
He's only looking at the pictures, he can't read really Eh what did you think of the dancing concert?
The what?
That dancing concert what did you think?
Well I shouldn't say this, I, I, I d I, I, I said it I haven't s really said it to Irene but I did say it to Con we went on the Friday didn't we?
Now er it wasn't that night I said it, it was afterwards so I said what did you think about the concert then?
Well you tell me what you thought.
Well I said I tell you what I thought I said it was a funny ending to begin with wasn't it?
Yeah.
Didn't like have a finale did it?
Not really.
No not really, I mean it was sort of.
But we all sat there, we didn't know whether we ought to come out or not!
Anyhow I said well I shouldn't say this I know and I know times have altered, but I said it wasn't er I said I 'm not saying it because Martine and Nicola were in it, but I said to me it wasn't the same as when they were in it.
Yeah.
I said I know it was all this modern dancing sort of thing and there were a lot of elderly people there on Friday night.
Yeah.
So well I didn't hear anyone say anything so I said well that's what I thought about it and er I did tell no I haven't said anything to Susan.
I mean the dancing was alright and all the children, don't get me wrong
Yeah.
Just the things
And Mrs works very hard well
Yeah.
I 'm bound to say that.
But er like I say it's not like the old concerts.
No.
What did you think of it?
Well I thought the sa I mean eve that last thing they did there the Starlight Express thing, I didn't have a clue what that was about.
I didn't
Erm and I didn't like the way erm she got a few of them 's, a few of the gir I know there's only the two lads there, but how she was doing a lot of things with the girls dressed up as boys like that w er what was that song that me dad hates that they did?
Erm What a Dame
Oh aye.
what a dame.
Me dad hates that song, well there was the two lads and two girls pretending to be sailors or whatever they were.
I don't like the way she keeps trying to do that.
No.
Erm oh I du n no, some of their things were a bit weird weren't they?
Well we're not all the same are we, but
I suppose she's got a
well your mum said to me well I 'll tell you the same as I've told Con but I said I 'm not against the children or anything the children
No.
worked hard on their dancing, and they were lovely
Yeah.
and I like to see the little ones but er concert no.
Well she said I 'm like you really she said
Yeah.
She said a and Irene said, Irene did say she wasn't very keen on this modern dancing.
Yeah.
And the other thing is of course that Mrs is d doing like she's taking the, the modern musicals and things that have been, you know, down in London, like Cats and Starlight Express and things and she's trying to imitate those, well there's no way she could ever get it as good so she's better off doing something completely different.
You know, something more traditional, you know like maybe doing a few things out of The Sound of Music.
Yeah.
Or, you know, that people ooh yes, that's it, The Sound of Music.
I think that'd go down bett or I mean even like when we did the pantomimes, you remember Cinderella we did?
I mean it was brilliant really wasn't it?
Yeah
For like such a amateur er company to do, but people loved it because they they understood everything that was going on.
There was dancing in it, there was singing in it.
Yeah.
Er I think she's a bit too ambitious sometimes.
And we were right in the front row and that ruddy music she had!
Were you near the front?
Ooh that but do you know she has the music too high
Too loud.
for th even when, when the children are singing
Yeah.
you can't, I know I don't hear very well, but it was too h too high for to hear them singing.
Yeah it drowning them out.
That's what I thought when that little boy, I mean he was lovely singing that
Yeah.
on his own
That was her youngest, her lad.
That's her youngest boy.
Ah he was lovely, bless him.
Yeah.
But er, like I said they've they do work, she does work very hard with them and er but Mrs hasn't got a way with her at all has she?
Not really.
No.
No.
Never has, and she 'll never change now
No.
will she?
No.
Oh we were having a laugh.
Remember when we did that space ship scene?
Yeah.
And we had the guns
Yeah.
and we were saying about her mum, Mrs don't you knacker them B guns!
Do you remember her shouting at me and Nicola for
firing them?
Yeah.
Cos we said them young kids that had the trumpets for that thing, I bet she had a go at them and all not to knacker them.
Ooh dear
Ooh dear me
But still I said to er Con well, oh well I said to Irene I did, I said it's good for er.
Yeah.
They get a lot of money out of it don't they?
They do.
They get all the door money.
Yeah.
And they get er the raffle
Yeah.
the money from the raffle as well.
Well I mean they don't have a great lot so a concert, did you see the dresses?
They were, weren't hemmed or anything.
Well I said that's understandable, she said well.
Well
And I said she never used to do the hem, the er hems when
No, no.
Nicola and Martine were in it.
But then again I said perhaps they 'll have to perhaps they 'll be thrown on one side some of them.
Yeah.
They 'll never be used again.
And to be honest I said it wasn't worth wasting a lot of time on them.
No.
Because it was only cheap er material
Well that's it.
wasn't it?
Yeah.
I must admit I did recognize a few outfits that me and Nicola used to wear.
Honestly.
Did you?
Yeah.
These orange tops, we used to do a dance to Vandervalk.
You know that do do do doo do do doo do do doo doo doo do do.
I recogni I said mum that's the ruddy Vandervalk costumes.
These orange ti we, we used to think they were lovely.
Yeah, yeah.
Erm recognized those and a couple of other things.
Erm and me mum was saying how Dyllis
Yeah.
remember with Helen and Susan?
Erm when they were doing the dance thingies cos she was a dressmaker, Dyllis was, she used to say look at these!
She hasn't even put seams on them.
And she used to do Helen and Susan 's, she used to sew all the edges up and everything.
Did she?
Oh aye.
On every costume.
She wasn't letting her kids go out
Well the sleeves you can't notice well I said I noticed
Yeah, all fraying.
I said but, but I said I knew
Well that's it.
that she didn't do any hems or anything.
When you're making all that lot
No.
I don't suppose you're bothered whether they've got hems and neat edges on them.
And what was it said was it your mum said she's not very well or something, Mrs's mother.
And she's had to have someone to help her to do, to
Yeah.
make the dresses this time.
Yeah she hadn't done them all this time.
I said you could pick out the ones Ma had done.
They were the ones with the tatty sleeves.
Ooh.
Ah dear me
We thoroughly enjoyed it, having said that.
Oh yes!
I was
Oh I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong.
Yeah.
It was
But er
a nice change as well.
but I suppose the likes of me, bit old fashioned aren't we?
And there'd be a lot more like me, those elderly people that were there.
Well that's it.
You know they would rather see the old concerts.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
But I know
I, I do.
Mrs has got to work with the times hasn't she?
Well I suppose so.
Because that's the thing like, although if she did something a bit more traditional, it'd probably please the likes of us but when you think, the kids that are doing it, if she says oh we're doing something out of Starlight Express it 'll be aah!
Oh!
You know, I mean that would appeal to them
Mm.
because they'd think it was really important and
Yeah.
and they'd probably rather wan na d rather do that that
Yeah.
than something, you know like a pantomime or something.
But er these
Yeah.
these met us Dad and Mike met us in the pub after.
Yeah?
I, me and mum went in my car
Yeah?
and then er dad and Mike come down in the Sierra and met us in the pub.
So we had a
Yeah.
The Red Lion did you go?
Yeah.
So we had a we stopped in there, we were only gon na have one in there but it was alright in there, we had a nice table and that so we had a good natter
You were
Yeah.
So you didn't see anyone much that you knew?
Erm Hayley's mum come to see me.
Ooh
Oh
she said oh let me have your address!
Oh yeah
Our Hayley, our Hayley's getting married.
your mum told me about her.
Yeah.
Our Hayley's got a big lump hasn't she!
Yes.
The size of her!
Yeah.
You know she used to be so petite, but god them damn legs on her!
Yeah.
Like er body builder.
Yeah.
Ooh I didn't like them when they were dressed as skeletons.
They what?
When they were did that skeleton dance, Hayley and another one.
You know when they
Oh no.
they were dressed as skeletons, I didn't like that.
No.
Ooh they looked horrible.
I think, was it Con asking wh who were they?
Think she was asking your mum who were they.
But er anyhow to me I enjoyed it when I knew some of the children.
Yeah.
I shouldn't say these things I s I know but
I thought Sally was good.
If you don't well you don't do you?
Well that's it.
Sally was very good.
Yeah I mean Sally was very good wasn't she?
Yeah.
Mm.
And Robert wasn't too bad I don't think.
No, he was a bit bored really.
Yeah.
But er er Bren wanted to go to the pub
Well I don't, I, I expect Bren Eh?
Bren was dying to go to the pub.
He I thought he might have sneaked out and come back again when I know he wouldn't leave Robert like, you know
No.
but er
When mum said that we were meeting Mike and er dad in the pub
he s it was only about eight o'clock or something and he said will they be there yet, will they be there if I go and have a pint with them?
Me mum said no they're not coming till ten o'clock.
And we won the bottle of wine, did mum tell you?
What?
We won the raffle.
Ooh yeah!
Aye.
Yes er Susan told me.
Susan
I was a bit annoyed, I wanted the cuddly toy but me mum wouldn't let me.
Ooh Oh well, was it.
I don't know.
Ooh.
Oh dear.
Well I didn't see a soul that I kn I mean I used to go and used to see people like
Yeah.
from Bradley and Annie and
Yeah.
Ooh I don't
Times change don't they?
But we went for Sally really didn't we?
Well that's it.
Didn't expect to see people like that though.
No.
There you are.
She's very, she, she likes it so
Yeah, I think she was very good.
But er she doesn't go to do the tapping does she?
Just d
No.
doesn't do this er doesn't like this person that does it instead of er Mrs.
Well no it's Hayley that takes it
Yeah.
she doesn't like Hayley.
She's nasty with them though isn't she?
Yeah.
I can imagine her being a little bitch.
And Mrs didn't like Susan telling her
Oh.
that Sally wasn't going again cos she didn't like her.
Mm.
She just shrugged her shoulders.
Well Susan said I can't make her come if she doesn't want to come.
And y best to be honest, it's no good saying you know making up something.
I mean she wasn't she wasn't making any l
No.
telling any lies and making excuses.
No.
She told her the plain truth.
But er she didn't like it.
No, I can imagine.
But it didn't, it hasn't put Sally off er dancing sort of thing.
No.
You know.
Oh.
Well I can imagine this Hayley not being very good with the little ones.
Can you?
Yeah.
I can imagine her being a bit er well not, not bossy like
I know when I used to come to your dancing classes isn't it?
Yeah.
And I know that I mean they, they've got to be corrected, I, I understand
Yeah.
all that
But it's whether you've got the right way isn't it?
else, or else they'd never do it properly would they?
No.
Ah.
Anyhow that's it, so
Well aye.
Yeah.
That's it.
What was I gon na say?
So you saw you've seen Jackie's photo in the
Oh that's what I was gon na say then ah!
Yeah.
It was in that free paper
The Free Press?
that I had, oh I should have kept that!
Anyhow I don't know what I did with it, but anyhow it was in the Friday's Leader wasn't it?
That's it.
So I did say to your mum here you, you would see Jackie's photo.
Yeah.
Yes she said, I did.
She's doing very well isn't she?
Oh and you'd telling everybody up and down that Jackie's had her theatre gr it's this week she's there isn't it?
No, last week.
It was the last day last Friday.
Oh was it now?
Yeah.
So she'd be telling everybody I expect.
Do you see anything of her, Annie?
No, we're not, we're not, I don't see anything of them do I?
No.
So
But me mum noticed though erm cos I said eh have you seen the picture of Jackie in the paper?
But we've noticed the last few times it's all Jacqueline now.
Oh!
Is it really?
She do doesn't have Jackie any more, it's Jacqueline, full name.
Must be Gwyneth's influence on her that.
Ooh!
Aye.
Cos I had a
Perhaps she thinks it sounds n better.
Which it does really.
Well it does really, yeah.
Specially when it, her surname's as common as.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I know, fair play she's doing very well isn't she?
Yeah, yeah
I haven't seen Denise since new er before Christmas I saw Denise.
I had a Christmas card off her er but I haven't seen her.
I should make an effort but she's
Well, well we don't, I haven't seen Annie since er Christmas just before Christmas.
Yeah.
And it was er beginning of December really.
It was a while before Christmas so
Yeah.
Anyhow, that's it.
But there's quite a few stopped going to the club with women not being well and their legs bad and
Ah
goodness knows what, so
It's this damn winter.
Well the weather, the weather doe hasn't helped.
Yeah.
Roll on summer.
And there were quite a few members had started coming from up the lane and some of the people.
Some of the what people?
Some of what?
Some people from up the lane which, you know there's some and the women were alright, don't get me
Mm?
wrong, but they didn't like to play cos all those from up the lane were coming to their club sort of thing.
What where's she mean
The people
up the lane there?
Wheatsheaf Lane.
Oh right.
But like what I saw of the women, they looked alright to me.
It never used to bother me
Why, are they some of them a bit
I mean they paid to go in and just the sa and the women looked alright.
Why, aren't they supposed to be very savoury?
Pardon?
Aren't they supposed to be very nice, these women from up the lane?
Well there's sort of a lot of rough ones up the lane isn't there?
Ooh.
Ooh it's a terrible place up the lane.
Is it?
Oh!
I used to hate it.
And we used to go visiting, my Auntie Irene lived there and And we used to go on a Saturday night, I used to ooh and I've told her, I used to tell I wouldn't live that, live up that lane rent free.
I hated it.
Simply hated it.
And when we were going up to ooh.
No I never liked it.
But I still haven't taken to it.
But it's got worse now, it's terrible up there.
Has it?
Lot of rough ones there now.
Mm.
You're like Bradley snobs you lot down here.
Oh!
Well we are this end, but I mean they have a bit of trouble down down there by the club
Oh.
on a Saturday night after they've been turned out, these young ones
Mm.
cause a bit of trouble down there but I must say we don't have it here now.
No, touch wood.
So anyhow
Touch wood.
That's it.
Is er has what's his name, the angry man been up to any antics lately?
Has she been to see you?
Yeah, she come yesterday er Monday.
Mhm.
Er no, he's got a bad shoulder.
He 's, he's a big baby he is.
And he's been to the doctors, he goes to doctor
Yeah?
not the other one.
Ah
the darkish
?
Doctor?
No, not Not they goes to now.
It's a darkish er funny name.
He doesn't go to, he doesn't go to that surgery now.
Doesn't he?
No.
Haven't done for a long time.
I don't know.
I 'm not very up to date.
You know he's isn't he, hasn't he got one of his own up in or something?
?
Could have yeah.
I think he has.
Seem to think me mum's said something like that.
That is not very nice.
No?
So they have the darky which they like, the darky refused to come out to er Kevin's children.
Did he?
So Sandra changed straight away.
She said if he can't come out to the children And he has good as told her that he hadn't got much time for children, visiting children.
So she thought well it's no use to going to him.
Well that's not the attitude to have is it?
So just up the lane she goes.
Think she goes to er there are four or five doctors at the clinic up the lane.
So she goes there.
Oh.
So what's wrong with his shoulder?
Oh he's only pulled a ligament.
Oh.
Big babby.
So he'd been to the doctors about few weeks ago and he'd been repairing his shed, said there was water coming in and he went to he said oh you've pulled a ligament or something he said, it 'll take weeks for it to clear up but anyhow he went back again about a fortnight ago.
Oh he said er I 'll send you to see a specialist.
So he's waiting to go, so when I think that he's had a an appointment, I might stand a chance of having one afterwards, I don't know.
Yeah.
But old he, he couldn't care less.
Just er up the lane to the clinic
Aye
and I go about every eight weeks I think
but er
She could go as often as she wanted to the clinic, but they won't come out to her
No
and being that she's not very good on her legs well, she has to have one to come out.
Well isn't there a clinic that she could go to?
Well only by getting a lift to the clinic, yeah, that's the only way she could get there
Yeah, well it's a long way?
No it's only in Buckley
Oh
but with us in work all the time, time we get home from work the chiropodist's gone
Yeah can't she get transport
Why which clinic is it the
can't she get transport besides like
well she can only get a taxi I suppose
Yeah
Well why can't sh
no buses or anything that goes
No there's no buses run there
Well I wouldn't be able to get there only for Connie really
Mm
because it's right up in
Well why can't Nora walk to it?
Well you know what she's like, she's not very stylish on her legs is she?
I know, but she walks as far as that
So it comes a bit expensive for her then doesn't it?
Yeah
Mm oh dear
She has er, she's got very wide feet as well Nora has
Has she?
and er, she bought some well some new shoes ages ago, she has er about an F extra wide fitting really, er wide
Wide
er she bought these new leather shoes quite a while ago, but even they and they were the widest she could buy, but they needed stretching, so Joanne, Paul's girlfriend, had got one of these shoe stretching things, you put it in and twist it and it goes up and up, well even that at it's highest wouldn't, you know, at it's furthest, well it was sticking out as far as it could go, even that wasn't filling it, so she stuck a spud down the end of it
She done a what?
She wedged it in with a spud, with a potato
I know
and then did it and it's worked so they 've, they've stretched now
Oh that's a good idea I er stuff mine with er newspaper
Yeah
but I know that doesn't do much good really
No well she had this special thing so it's done the trick so she hasn't worn it yet though, I think she's doing it for the wedding ain't she?
Yeah
Oh she had new shoes
She's gon na wear them
for the wedding?
Yeah
Soon come round now won't it?
Oh yeah
Yeah twenty fifth of April
Mm
Ah it 'll be your Paul's birthday second, first of April
Mm
April fools' day Paul's birthday is
Yeah
ah, Paul's birthday is on April fools' day
so er we must remember to buy him a card and something
Mm, mm
get him a sweatshirt or something
Janice is a is it Friday or Saturday?
Saturday, he's forty on Saturday
Good god
She doesn't want a
no fuss and I said ooh, I said I forgot about her being forty, I bought the card a few weeks ago
Yeah
oh Irene said never
I bet it's granddaughter that's on it, I said yeah it is, so any
Well I, she might not want reminding that she's forty
good god
No she doesn't want any fuss, Con's made her a big cake I believe a very nice cake Eileen said
Mm, mm, is she busy with doing her cakes Con?
Pardon?
Is she busy doing cakes at the moment, Aunty Con?
No she's not doing many
No
I think she's glad of the rest to be honest
Ah
she has got another one besides Janice 's, er, but I think it's a birthday cake yeah it is a birthday cake
Yeah
er er Irene's called this morning as they were going to
mm, mm
and she said Con had rung her up to say Kevin is going abroad, the other side of the world
I can't remember the name, there's four of them going from Aerospace
Mm
and they've had to have er, no end of injections, different injections
To do with work or?
Yeah
Good god
I forget the country, I couldn't remember Eileen was laughing, so she says I don't know how Kevin would be, I don't know whether it's today, he's gone she said, he's had to have one up his bum
Good god, when does he go?
I don't know when he goes, I haven't heard the story properly, cos I was upstairs and, er well Ron was half way upstairs and Eileen come on to the landing and I was in the bathroom, so I says I 'll come down, no she says you needn't bother cos we're not staying we've only just er come to see how you are
Gosh
so she just told me that so I 'll have all the news of Colin tomorrow they've gone for a week
You don't know how long you think he's going for?
A week he's going for
Oh, god it's not long to, to have all those injections, it's not long to go for
Well it's very bad country of
ooh
of them having all these injections
Good god
They're not just ordinary injections
No
so I don't know, I 'll have the news tomorrow
All will be revealed
Pardon?
All will be revealed
I don't know how
I, I feel sorry for the children because they 'll miss Kevin won't they?
Yeah
But er I think it 'll be a good break for Kevin but er I expect Sandra will miss him as well
Yeah
Oh any
Mind you a week won't be too bad it might do them good mightn't it?
Because he's a kind of a foreman now you see so er
Oh
I suppose er he feels that he's got to go I expect
Yeah
I don't feel he's got to go, but, he's lucky I suppose to be chosen to go
Well that's it, it might lead to better things mightn't it, I say it might do them good to be away from each other for a week any way, mightn't it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
And the kids for that matter
Anyhow
very good how's uncle Ron?
er Irene was er, erm bath on a Tuesday and Ron usually goes, Ron doesn't stay in very long, Irene just goes for about half an hour so she said Ron isn't coming to the bath today, he's got a bad throat, and I never thought to say, how is his throat this
Oh
morning, but it must've been alright because er he was going off with David, I said you got tablets for him and she said yeah plenty of stuff for him, anyway, he seemed, he looked alright anyhow
Oh good
so
I think we 'll all be a lot better when the summer gets here
Yeah
I think this weather gets a lot of people down doesn't it?
I know it hasn't been bad can't complain can we?
Oh I think we've had a marvellous winter
But erm, even so I think that
we've had the rain and the wind haven't we?
That's it yeah
But it's been marvellous really, but they did have snow last weekend, did you have any in
last weekend?
No
Well Brin was working somewhere on your dad's lawn
Good god
just a shower, a snow shower
no
oh where he was working I don't know, it was Ron that was saying last Sunday when I was there
Yeah
so I don't know where it was, but er, he, he was working
Yeah
so, where are you working Mike?
Ellesmere Port
Oh, is it
don't know how long for
got a lot of work there?
Not much left there now, no
No
begging jester then
Oh and I didn't think it was so near your mum going, well I suppose I never
Yeah
think of looking at the date, I knew the dates twenty fourth to the twenty seventh, I never, I never thought to look, but er
No it's
she said er just next week is it?
what eighteenth to yeah eighteenth today
Yeah, next week
so it's next Tuesday
Yeah, yeah, yeah
It's gone quick ain't it?
We're dog and house sitting
Yeah she said you were going, oh
Yeah, great
so she was telling me all about it and er, the times they were going, oh it 'll be nice for them
Yeah they don't go to
She 'll want to take some warm clothes
Ooh I 'll say
it might be colder there than it is here
Yeah, they don't go till six o'clock on the Tuesday night
Oh, ah
so we can take erm down to Mold wherever they've
Yeah
wherever they go from
Yeah
erm and it, we 'll be staying up there
Is it Mold that er
I think so
I think they get, I think it's Mold they go
er did she say whereabout?
Evening Leader Office
Aye, by the Evening Leader Office
Oh
on, on the Wrexham road coming out of Mold, er pardon me, erm and then I've got a couple of days holiday to use up still from work
Oh have you?
so I might have a couple of days off and then I can be with Laddie and take him for walks and everything
Oh
save getting Teggy to do it
Yeah
and so
perhaps she's
perhaps she's
she doesn't know that, she said Teggy would be looking after er Laddie
Yeah, er
she said might and er Martine is coming to stay, well I thought you would do really, because er, I didn't think they'd leave the house
No, we love going up there anyway, it 'll be like a holiday I say it 'll be like a holiday for us, we love going up there
Yeah
Great, get some nice fresh air in us lungs
Yeah, right
So it 'll soon be Easter as well won't it?
Pardon?
It 'll soon be Easter
Yeah it will
That's er, April
Mm
and so we might
so she was thirteen, I, I have trodden on the mat that one of the round, the cruise of the Rhine
You've done that, have you?
Yeah
Ooh
and er I looked at the advert in the paper and they go to er, where they make those, wines and
Ooh, ooh that sounds alright
spirits on, spirit something, well I said where we went I said you're doing something similar to what we did, we had brandy and it took us all through the cellars
You dammed alky
and gave us brandy, gave us brand oh oh that's it
Mm, mm, yes is there anything you want on now or you want snooker and football on?
There's football on this side
Oh
Liverpool
Liverpool you want?
Yeah
Oh
I put it on, er what was I gon na say then?
What were we just talking about then?
Oh I, when did you go to Germany then?
Oh years ago
How many years ago?
I think it was my first hol it was my first holiday abroad
Oh was it?
I went with the W I
Good god
Yeah, we had a good holiday though
Er, who would be with you then Freda or something?
The first time I'd gone abroad
Who would of been with you then Freda or didn't you, weren't you?
Er Freda, yeah
Yeah
Freda and Mrs who used to keep the fish shop and another person Joyce, she wasn't very big, we used to call her little Joyce
Oh we had, we had a good laugh really did, it was a good holiday
Yeah
but er
I wonder if you'd seen much change in it if you went back now
Mm, well I'd expect we would, but er
Mm
I didn't, we didn't think to take down all the different places we went to you know
No
and you can't remember them it'd be our first er holiday abroad, but er
No
we really enjoyed it, it's a laugh up the Rhine
Yeah, well it 'll be a nice change for mum and dad anyway won't it?
Yeah it 'll be a nice change for them
Yeah, smashing
Oh
We went to Southport the other week did mum tell you we went?
Oh yes your mum said
Er be fortnight ago
it's coming true it's coming
he 'll soon be two the little boy
August
God how time flies
You should see him, well, he's so wiry, he's into everything, how they cope with him, he's not naughty as such but he's such erm
You think he's a bit highly strung?
Erm yeah, do you Mike?
What's that?
Think James is a bit highly strung
Yeah, well, he's like any little kids I think
Mm
there's no stopping them is there?
Yeah he's not he won't
Mind some are worse than others aren't they?
Yeah
Mm
I think sometimes I can't help but think it's how they made him in a way, you know, like I, you, sometimes your, I think you should sit down and play with something, but he won't sit quiet and amuse himself
No
he's running up and down and thing, you know I I don't know maybe it is the way he is, but
Perhaps it is his nature you know
Yeah, but er, he's a cracking little lad
Oh
er and they might be coming up to stop with us at some time over Easter
Oh
so er, cos me heart was in me mouth when they come up for Christmas, and that's the last time they were up I thought me tree's gon na go over, you know, I thought if he pulls at me tree or anything, but, he was, he was as good as gold for not, he wasn't trying to get me ornaments or anything, he was er, you know, just happy to play with his own toys, so he wasn't naughty.
Oh well, well they've got to be taught haven't they?
Well that's it
Yeah
Yeah
No
I tell you what's nice to see them again
Oh
she 's, she's only just had her money through, remember when we met them in Tenerife
Yeah
she not long had that bad car accident
Ooh has she?
at Claire 's, yeah, er, she'd been a passenger and somebody had come into them and oh she was in a hell of a state, all, lucky to be alive really, she nearly lost erm, her arm and everything, lost, nearly lost the use of her arm, she's had a lot of facial surgery stuff and that and all her teeth had been knocked out and oh she was in hospital for months and months
Good lord
and that's why if you remember she was pregnant when we met her
Yeah
but she had a miscarriage when she went home
Yes she lost the baby
and they thought, they said then it was connected with the accident, erm because it, you know, she was in such a bad way, and, the other fellow was to blame, I think he'd been drinking, I 'm not sure, but they're claiming off the insurance and they reckon she's gon na be entitled to around a hundred thousand pounds compensation, because, not only has she had these physical injuries, but because she had a knock on the head it's also affecting her mental state
Oh dear
erm sort of, at fir, you know, at first I thought sometimes you know oh, you know what's the matter with you like but, she admits herself, her I Q, you know how they judge your intelligence has gone right down, she has to have tests every now and again, er she can't concentrate on things, or, you know some things she just can't do any more, so she's at, supposed to be getting all this compensation and it's been going on now, it was two years ago, three years ago that we met them and she's only just had the first part of her money, she's had five thousand pounds, that's all she can get for the time being all the rest is, cos all solicitors and everything and doctors having to come and check things, so she knows, she knows she 'll get money eventually, but er, it's just when, but isn't it an awful thing?
Ah
Well Valerie was, she was the same weren't she?
That's right, yeah she 'll be going through all the same thing trying to get money
Ooh, oh no
Terrible is she out of hospital now and that?
and, and Valerie and now they've bought the daughter a car, she's been a naughty girl really, they've given her everything haven't they?
Mm
Then she got engaged, but er Valerie thought that would settle her down
Yeah
which was wrong, Valerie was over the moon really that she got engaged to this fellow, but he was much older than er Michelle and I, and er he didn't want to settle down
No
so the engagement was broken off and then after that she sort of she went to live in a flat, she left home and went to live in a flat and she's been up and down
Mm
in Rochet, now she's up in Pentrybrogan, and that's when the accident happened
Oh
she was taken out of work one morning and now they've bought her another car and I don't where it's happened but somebody's gone into the back of her
Oh god
all the car's bashed in
Michelle hadn't heard the story properly
No
but Valerie's she 's, she's going on alright but er, she can't move those fingers
No
she can move them but she's got no use in them, so they said it 'll take a long time
Mm
and they might never come back again
Terrible isn't it?
which will be a big blow to er Valerie, because she run Family Fashions
that's right, yeah
you know all the books and things, and she did a lot of sewing didn't she?
Mm
But er I did go with Con when I went for a perm she said oh would you like to, would you like to go and see Valerie
Yeah
I have
and er we just went for about ten minutes, but she's alright in herself
Yeah, it's a shame in n it?
Yeah, there we are
I don't know
and er they said well they, they 'll have no trouble with er compensation
No
but it was Shell that ran into her
Was it?
It wasn't the man's fault really of Shell, it was another car really that caused the
Mm
trouble sort of thing, but er I don't know whether they bought it thinking they 'll have all this money or what but er
No
I don't think they're short of money to be honest cos Valerie has a good job
I know it's nice to have the compensation, but when you think of what you're missing
Oh the money isn't everything is it?
That's it it's nothing at the end of the day
It will only buy so much, it won't buy everything money won't.
What if you lose the use of your hand it won't buy that back
Well that's it
will it?
and she's had a plate put in there
Yeah
she did show me that and then she's got it like straps on it where she can take it off but er oh she
It goes through you doesn't it?
Mm, it does, it's true
I don't know
and then the trouble soon be off, won't she?
Yeah
Alice came and erm, in the night to Con and they go to er America
How is
They're in camp for a holiday
Are they?
Jane and her husband
Oh that's nice
and er Jane's er in-laws
Oh, big happy families
She's a bit nervous
oh
She said Monday night I, er I don't know whether we've done the right thing by booking this holiday she said, I 'm thinking about the travelling in the air, it 'll be in travelling for eleven hours so she said I don't know how I 'll be, I said it's no use looking at it like that Alice now
No
if you've booked it, I said you ought to look forward to it but er, I suppose it's just come over her
Yeah
so, that's it
Oh I can imagine it being a bit strained off and on with er two lots of parents or do they know each other well and everything?
She gets on alright with er Phil's mother and father
Yeah
I don't know if they've been on holiday with them
Well I was, there's nothing to say they've got to all stick together they can all do their own thing can't they?
Oh they 'll stick together I should imagine, but er, there you are
Mm
so Ooh look at the people there
Yeah and the lad from work's a scouser he's said it, I 'm going home now to watch the football, I think he's going there actually, I think he could be there, Rob you know him
Mm
bloody rubbish it is
The what?
yeah, so she said
Well she brought a pie and she brought some er punch round
Oh
and er, she said can I warm it?
And she warmed that and she had er this er steak and
kidney pie and er, I said what's Spike having?
He's having he was having punch
I've got
what a nice mac she said
Yeah, she said the other, er yesterday, er I don't know what it's like she hasn't told me yet, oh er me mum's bought one, oh aye, me mum's is very nice I've seen that, I know me dad's had one as well.
Yes he's had one as well
Yeah, er yeah me mum's is nice like a mustardy colour
Yeah
long, very nice, very posh, erm I don't know what me dad's is like, er me mum was laughing er yesterday erm with er doing all this work she'd done a load of washing and pegged it all out and when she'd got in from work dad had ironed it all
Oh
I 've, I've never ever known him to iron anything ever since I've been you know, little, I've never seen him iron anything but me mum was in fits because he'd even ironed the socks so she said she didn't have the heart to tell him that she doesn't usually bother with the ruddy socks, but er the thought was there wasn't it?
Very nice, oh yes
Good god
Oh
ironing socks
good lord that is
he 'll
the latest in n it?
Well I tell you what like, I never bother ironing socks, but
I do iron me pants but I only just show them the iron
well I just, well that's it
show them the iron and
flip them over, but there's er Sally and Russell that live across the road from us, er when Russell her husband lived at home, his mum always used to iron his socks and his boxer shorts and everything, now he won't wear them unless she's ironed them he won't
Oh
she's tried just shoving them, and he won't, haven't, he won't wear them
Mm, no point in ironing socks
I said I'd wrap them round his damn neck
no point in ironing socks
I might try and iron as little as they possible can
Oh
but like say I 'm alright like cos Mike doesn't have a shirt for work or anything like some people, with, with, they've got an office job, he'd have to have five clean shirts for the week wouldn't he?
Quite
And all ironed and, I 'm glad I don't have to do that, he has his old jumper on and a T-shirt smashing
Yeah
saves me the job anyway
Yeah
Ooh I can't stop yawning I've been going into work a bit earlier lately
You have?
Yeah, I 'm usually in for about quarter to eight, half seven, quarter to eight
Finish earlier?
Erm yeah, can finish at four o'clock then
Oh very good
so er next week I 'm going to start going swimming straight from work as part of my keep fit
Very good
Well I
Adrian looks forward to going er, she just does half an hour
Aye, she goes up to
Up in Summerhill
does she?
Yeah
every Tuesday
Well I, I think it's nice, supposed to be a very good way to relax and everything
Yeah
isn't it?
Yeah, well she said she, she feels it does her, her legs good
Yeah
so
Oh I 'm gon na start going, I haven't been swimming for that long and I've been saying off and on oh I must go, I must go, but when it's so cold outside you don't feel like coming out with all wet hair and all that
Oh but I
said once I said and I, when she's been going and it's been cold out there I said to her cos she always comes on a Tuesday dinner time
Yeah
when I 'm just gon na have my
she only has a biscuit, sometimes she 'll bring scones or cake or, if she'd been baking
Well, yeah
and er, I say oh, and they allow you to go in this cold weather
Mm
but she said it's lovely and warm when they get there
Ooh I bet
she said, lovely and warm
Yeah
You had your Poll Tax forms?
Renewals
No
No
No, ooh we've had ours on the
What, how much is yours?
I haven't had them back yet
Oh ours is, Mike knows somebody, one of the lads, their mum works in the Poll Tax Office in Buckley and erm, she reckons that, that ours will be going up about fifty pound is it?
Yeah
How much?
She reckons ours will go up about fifty quid
It's awful really when you think there's such a lot of people got away with it all
Well this is it we've said like, there's so much that everybody's got to pay for non-payers isn't there?
Yeah
Erm, I don't think we should pay it
I don't think so either
certainly don't, but the thing is that
I should say just pay your own and that's enough
yeah, the thing is, the people that are paying it, we're paying more than we've ever paid before and we're getting less back
Yes
like for a kick off, he went down to the skip last Saturday, the tip, we had, er he was clearing out the back yard, he took some rubble and boxes and things down there, and he was talking to the fellow there they said oh, he said er they were shutting this skip, er they're moving it down the road and you 'll have to pay, you 'll have to pay to tip your rubbish
Ooh
and they 'll charge more for works vans, didn't he say?
Yeah
If it's a works van tipping rubbish, they 'll charge them more, but you 'll have to pay, I don't know whether they 'll do it by the load or by the bin bag or, what, you 'll have to pay to dump your rubbish.
Well that's a bit of a devil
And we're paying Poll Tax, I said all that 'll happen erm, and this poor fellow's out of a job as well
Ooh
honest to god it makes your blood boil
and these and these rents have gone up I expect Nora's flat has gone up
Yeah it has
Four, four, four pound forty seven that's only just on the rent
Mm
and then it 'll be all the rates, I know I can get a bit of rebate, but er, I don't do bad really after having some rebate, but
No
Robert's is gone up over five pounds, theirs is a different kind of a house you see a parlour type
Why what's
it's a parlour type
why what's the difference?
Well she's got two rooms downstairs, which she'd rather have one of these really, one big one
What of the same sort, sort of size as yours or are theirs bigger?
Well theirs is, but it's bigger because they've got the two rooms, like one big room split in half you see
Yeah
whereas a lot of people just put an archway like Colin
Ah
but er, they take a lot of heating
Yeah
by doing that sort of thing
Yeah
so he's going mad really, but, how much it 'll be in the end I don't know, so
Oh god, yeah I can hardly remember this before it was all done out
Fully re-modernized
Yeah I can't
You can't
Not really
you can't remember the kitchenette and the bathroom downstairs, little grate in the other place?
No
Mm
er did the grate use to be like where the fridge is?
Yeah
Oh, the
on that wall in there
Yeah and the little kitchen I remember
Yeah
it's where your sink is now, but it was like smaller wasn't it?
yeah
Shut off
Yeah, but er I had my bath put upstairs in the spare room
Oh that's right
so that we made that little place what was the bathroom into a little cookery place, I put, we put the cooker in there, then we had our bath, had our bath put upstairs you see
Well what
and the washer used to have
what used to be the bathroom the little pantry, did that use to be the bathroom?
Yeah, across from the pantry
Er?
used to be along, another, another little room there
Oh I can't remember that you know
Can't you?
No
And then in the, where the bath used to be, in this little bathroom I had the cooker and the washer that's it, I made it into a little kitchen so
Yeah
that we had that like a little sitting room, I just had a settee in there and a couple of chairs, it was lovely and cosy in there
Yeah
we never used to come in this room you know, nobody would come in this room
Was this always just a big room though?
Pardon?
This was always just one room
Oh this was always the same
You used to have the dining table over there
Yeah
at one time didn't you?
and then I got rid of that, that dining table didn't I?
So there
Ah me memory's not bad
No, everybody used to clock for that little kitchen
Yeah
it was lovely and cosy in there
Mm
Yeah
How long ago would it be now that you had it all done?
Pardon?
Cos I remember erm what I do remember is when you were having it done, stopping in the caravan with you
good god
And you used to have your toast
Oh, all it was lovely, yeah
made by the gas fire
Oh it was lovely that was and remember that programme that used to be on, erm Within These Walls about the prison, the women in prison?
That's it, yeah
Oh and you used to let us stop up and watch him, it must of been on at about nine o'clock or something
Yeah, yeah
oh I used to love it
you used to sleep the night, didn't you?
Yeah, we stopped a few times you know in the
Yeah, yeah
caravan because I remember it
Oh I was quite happy there
How long ago was that then, how old would I of been then, when you had all these alterations done?
I would be about
Seven, seven, about seventeen or eighteen
sixteen
years ago
Yeah seventeen years ago, good god
Might be more than that Martine and Mrs she had the next caravan to, to me
Mm, I can see them now the outside, they were like made, made to look like wood weren't they the caravans?
Mm
But it was like
er, it was good there, used to like that
Oh aye, it would be more than that because you're the twenty second of February
Er twenty five
Twenty five
Oh no, am I twenty six?
Twenty five
Twenty five until December
Fine so you were not very old when you used to come
no, maybe I was only about five, maybe it was twenty years ago
Yeah, t is a long time ago I know
Good god, no wonder I can't remember much about this then
No it is it
I remember coming for tea and er the table was where it is now I don't know whether it was
It was right, it was under the window
Yeah
it was a drop leaf table
Yeah, and you remember me and Nicola used to have our special bowls, I used to have erm, Little Bo Peep and she had Mary, Mary quite Contrary well
Yeah
I can remember, we used to have like mints in a bowl, lovely mints didn't we and erm potat, and we used to have the mints just in the bowl and I remember boiled potatoes, you remember erm, you know like, when we, when we were coming like and I can see everything now and I can see me little bowl and everything
but, that must of been, was that when the fire was still there then that was with the
Yeah oh the fire still be there
Cos, erm, you know, say we picked dad up from work and we used to come here straight from work didn't we for tea?
You used to come once a week for dinner
Wednesdays
Mm
was it?
Was it, did he?
on a Wednesday
Yeah
Yeah
used to be lovely, I remember all that
ha and I used to mince the meat myself
Yeah you
and there was one week that Pat came, because I used to get the meat off of the van by the gate then, and I don't know what it was this week, but I bought the meat ready minced and when I come to give it to you, I knew there'd be complaints, I don't know what we were having
but you always used to have this mince and you wouldn't eat the mince
because it was the bought mince meat
How could I tell?
and it was a thing I never buy a, I never bought any afterwards
How could I tell
never did buy mince meat I never liked, I never fancy
but you wouldn't eat it anyhow.
What was the difference, did it look different?
Oh, there's always a lot of fat and stuff in it
Aye
but I used to put it through the mincer didn't I?
Yeah, cut all the fat off first
I used to make rissoles that was it, for us and put onions with it
Yeah
and you and Nicola would not eat the onions
Ah
so I used to keep the mince what I'd done, separate for you and Nicola
that's it, I remember
before I made rissoles I did it
Yeah
or perhaps I make a rissole sometimes, but not put any onion
Yeah
in, mm, and sometimes I'd give it to you just loose sort of thing
Oh it used to be lovely
Oh
Those were the days
Yeah, been back a while have you?
God it is as well
Yeah, how is Judith?
Alright, she 'll be expecting she reckons she's due on the twenty third of March, but the hospital say it 's, it's the twenty ninth, so it 'll be next week, I 'll have to give a ring, we went to see her the other week, to see how she was, erm we went round er one night, I rung her up to see if she'd be in, I said right we 'll be round for an hour
Did she, did she get married again?
Yeah
I thought she did
she 'll of been married
just
twelve months in June pardon me so er, we think she's having a boy.
Mike had a dream the other night that she had a, a little boy, but er, the funny thing was it'd only just been born but it could talk
It was what?
It had only just been born but it could talk properly and everything
So I said well coming from Judith it wouldn't surprise me if it could bloody talk
Good lord
but er, I think she 'll have a boy as well
Think so
Yeah, I du n no why
why?
I du n no, just think she will
Cos if you're thinking the way they carry the baby it's an old woman's tale I think, I never used to think
I can never remember which way round is
and if you were having a boy they used to say you would carry the baby all round sort of thing
Yeah
if you were having a girl it was mostly in the front, but er that wasn't true really
No
but that was an old woman's tale really, that's going back a few years ago
Ah
no I ju, I du n no why I just think she 'll have a lad
What does she want boy or a girl?
Not bothered, as long as it's healthy she's not bothered
Oh well, bless
It's the best way to be in n it?
It is the best yeah
No good saying, trying to pick and choose cos you get what you're given in the end
Do you
As long as it's healthy that's all that matters in n it?
Mm, so long as everything's alright, that's the main thing.
That's it
Yeah
Well Amanda 'll be
especially as children are today, born today
Well that's it
Terrible isn't it?
Yeah
Never used to be like this, I don't know why it is now
No, but Amanda will be in her element won't she?
She will, will she?
Oh she 'll be like a little old woman, she 's, well she's nine, I think she's going on thirty nine, to listen to her
She's old is she?
She's lovely, she's grown out of that mardy
Has she?
braty type
She's growing up a bit?
Yeah, er well if they're not too careful she 'll of grown up before they realize it, oh she goes on at you oh, like an old woman, she knows everything, she knows more than Judith about what's going on
Good lord
Oh she 's, but she's gone nice, I must admit, cos I always did like her, even though like they use to say she was spoilt and that, well, you can't help it
No
I mean the way she's been brought up and that with Kingsley and the mum, course she's gon na be spoilt
Mm
but, I think this'll do her good to have a little sister or a little brother
Yeah, oh she 'll enjoy it, I expect
Oh god, I think she 'll be a good help for Judith
Yeah, yeah, how many horses has she got now?
Er, she's only got the one of her own Judith has, erm but she's quite busy there with other people's
Is she?
Yeah, got quite a few on, she was full actually when we went to see her
Mm, men alright?
Er
Went to see them the other week
Yeah, went to give her a lesson
Ah
he was looking very well
Oh very good
so er yeah I 'm glad they're doing alright with him now
Yeah
cos the eldest daughter had gone off it a bit
Had she?
Yeah, she'd got a boyfriend and, with her school work as well, like she's doing her A levels now and she just got a little bit, you know, because it is a big you know you've got to be dedicated haven't you?
It's no good going one day and not bothering
How old is she?
Seventeen
Oh
like, you know what I was like, all through school and me A levels I was still going down every day and everything
Yeah
erm, and I thought aye up, is she gon na go off completely, so her mum was worried about her and the mum said oh I don't
Pardon, oh
the mum said oh
put the light on Mike
I think she's going off it a bit so I said oh well I 'll come and have a chat and I said listen, I said, I realize you you've got a lot of school work and that and you've got your boyfriend, I said, but there is now way that you're gon na let him stand in the field, getting fat and getting old you've got
He's got to have exercise
yeah I said if you've lost interest in him then all you have to do is tell me, I said there 'll be plenty of other people
Would like
you know plenty of other little girls that would want to look after him, and I said it's no good relying on Vicky because she, the little sister, she's nine, she was too young to do things by herself, you know, I said there's no way you can let, leave it all to Vicky, so that if you don't want him any more you must tell me and I said there 'll be no hard feelings but that's it, cos he comes first at the end of the day, so she said oh I, oh I have been naughty have you been?
Yeah
He's been to the toilet already
Good god lad, so erm, she said oh I know I've been naughty and I have, not neglecting him in a naut, you know, they've been making sure he's been alright
Yeah I know
but just riding him, well that's what he needs, so I said well you just see as you think on just keep exercising him, so erm, after that she's been alright and the little sister's getting really good with him
Ah
erm, because she 's, she's quite big for her age, but like Louise she's quite tall now, she's nearly too tall for him even though there's nothing of her she must only be about seven stone, erm, but this little Vicky she's oh thinking she's really good now and she's improved so much and getting confident as well, and the dad takes in, he puts the bridle on him, he takes the dog in one hand and Min in the other he goes for walks for miles with the, with the horse and the dog Dave does
he loves it, goes for miles with them
Good lord
Or, like he, if the little girl's riding him, he always goes with her then as well, but even if the girl's not on him, he takes him for a walk like a big dog so I mean, they're lovely people, you couldn't wish to have him with nicer people, erm, you know they are, they really are nice
Oh well
so er, it 'll be nice for them in the summer, especially for the little sister, now she's getting more confident in the summer like they can go to all the shows and that
Yeah
so er, they're really pleased
Oh very good
so mm Win and Caroline are moving once again, has me mum told you that saga?
Your mum did tell me a few weeks ago
Oh I lose patience with them
that er, that the house is still up for sale
Mm
Oh
I lose patience, on the market now
must be terrible to be
Yeah
because they must be up to their eyes in debt
Well, I don't know really whether they are or not, I mean he must earn damn good money, erm not so much off his that
Yes but he spends a lot doesn't he Martine?
Well that's it, erm, like she, I don't think she makes a fortune, she only makes enough probably for food and that, he doesn't make that much off his dad because his dad's a stingy thing, but he does the taxing as well and he does foreigners, but erm, you know, like they've got their bills to pay and everything, they don't economize on anything, they have massive gas bills and
And they've just had a new car haven't they?
Yeah, so they're paying that off, er I think, I think they're mad, I really do they only, they only pay a hundred and odd pound a month for this mortgage they've got at the moment because they bought it, it was only sixteen thousand, well it was cheap it was before the boom
Where are they going?
She's seen somewhere in the
The other week I got a
Steven was doing the front lawn
said they went in just to see how she was
Yeah
and she'd got a table in front of her and she was sitting on the settee and the table in front of her and this new jigsaw, over a hundred pieces in it and there she was lady
lady muck from turd hall
Breakfast pots were there
Oh
and er they, they had a bit of
and all the pots were there
Yeah
for Steven would come in and he'd have to wash all up
Well more fool him if he does that
and, and her sitting down either doing this jigsaw or watching films would you
He's doolally for putting up with it isn't he?
Oh dear, dear
Right I 'm gon na go to the toilet and rinse these for you
Yes, okay, well it's been lovely seeing you in n it?
Aye it's been nice coming up
Oh so you 'll be off for Easter Mike will you?
Only, we work the Good Friday but we have the Tuesday off
Oh
so we 'll have the Bank Holiday Monday off and the Tuesday
Oh, well that's not too bad then
It's late this year though Easter isn't it?
Yeah, mm, soon be here won't it?
It will
It will oh
I think we're all ready for bed, we're all yawning
Pardon?
We're all yawning I think we're all ready for bed
Does Nora go for a holiday?
No
No she never bothered
No
Oh
She used to years ago but she doesn't bother any more
No
now
No, oh I don't think I could do the travelling now that I used to do, but er
No
you have to sit with your memories now, don't you?
Oh aye
I don't mind, I don't mind so long as I just get out a bit on, into town and
Well this is it
do a bit of shopping so yeah, I haven't been doing that this last few weeks but, any
Well if the weather breaks a bit now, get a bit of sun, be able to get out a bit, with a bit of luck
anyhow me new tablets are
he had to go to hospital, he's got arthritis in his legs from
Aye
all these drugs he's been having, so they gave him some er tablets and er, he said on Sunday he was in such pain, so he said try these, he has given me some before, but er, you're supposed to take two and I was only taking one
Aye
and they didn't do anything for me, so anyhow I've started taking two, they have helped a bit
Oh good
anyhow, but I found out now that they're on prescription so, he said this morning you can have some more tablet, no I said I can get them off the old quack
Oh aye
so anyhow, oh dear
Oh dear, right let's make a move I tell
That blinking election is getting on your nerves
Oh I've had enough of it and it hasn't even
and we've got
a month yet
started yet has it?
Ooh
Getting on me nervous
like a lot of little children
Yeah load of rubbish, that's what I think.
Listen why don't you let us pull the door to nan
Mhm
save getting up to see us out, oh I suppose you have to put the catch on do you?
No, I don't put the catch on
We 'll have to get you one of those exercise bikes, that 'll get you going
Exercise bike
been lovely seeing you, anyway
Been lovely seeing you too.
Yeah
We won't leave it so long the next time
Anyhow I 'll see you on Sunday
Yeah
I 'm supposed to be at your mum's for the weekend
Do you want your stick now?
Pardon?
Do you want me to get you your stick?
Yes please
It 'll be easier.
Yes you're up on Sunday, yeah
Yeah
okay
Yeah
Is there anything you want fetching from upstairs or anything before we go?
No, no love thank you very much
You only have to go to bed, when you go up there
Can you manage that door Mike, it's awfully awkward
Yeah, I think I might
You know what I should be using
Oh nan
I haven't had any taken off, but er I mean it 'll go alright now
Well
Yeah
that's it
but it's been the old nut crackers
Yeah anyway
anyhow
love you lots
Yeah
you take care, I hope your leg
anyhow I 'll go by the window, I 'll go by the window
Don't stand in the cold
save standing in the cold
I 'll give this to
ta ta then, see you at the weekend
Yeah
Okay, bye nan
ta ta
Bye
ta ta oh, at least it hasn't come to rain again pull Oh my light hasn't come on
You did something to the catch before didn't you?
Oh
That's it?
Is it?
Yeah
Oh twenty minutes ago when Max said he was gon na take ten minutes
it is up and running
insults on that
Can we have the
Okay, if you want to see a sample of
Morning Richard
Good morning Mart
I, I know as you can see I think it's very useful each item
do what?
to actually put a line in
ha ha
Okay
ya
so if you can get it to do that and er
Just a
we also have the coding based on the coding
on the one we've already got and won't do anything about that it's not
together you and Jan between you, you and Marty between you could do that
how powerful is that microphone?
It can hear you
Really, from that distance, I see
The problem is fitting all this in with everything else
Well er
I don't think
well that is a problem we all have to suffer Jan, erm and this shipment, this really shouldn't have to be more than ten or fifteen minutes work with you and Marty
No perhaps not
but, but passing it on to, to Darren to do the er
perhaps not, but added to everything else, plus you want the archiving doing, the A three drawer doing, I don't know when on earth I 'm going to have time to do that
You can't
I mean I was in eight and a half hours yesterday, eight hours a day before
Which archiving is that?
You asked me to do the Wigan archiving
but it didn't get finished
No
Yes er
I can't
yes I figure that
I can't claim any overtime or anything for
erm, well, any overtime for
but I 'm working all these
But you've not asked about overtime
No, well I 'm asking
I mean I was
Like anybody else you can claim overtime
Yeah
whether it was
or whatever job
Billy how many hours shall I put down for
yesterday, does three sound reasonable?
What do I have to have someone to collect the hours before I can claim it?
Mm
Does three hours sound reasonable?
How do I fill the form out?
Mm
If you want to claim overtime, you talk to me
You know I don't mind coming on a Sunday and doing all this erm archiving stuff
Is it a big job?
Well, cos there's a fair amount to do the A three drawer's gon na take a long time
When you say the A three drawer
Yeah, the drawer in, the new cabinet we've got with it it's got Wigan reports plus drawings in it
Oh you mean that little cabinet we've got there
Yeah
Yeah
That little cabinet that is crammed full of stuff
I think
sling everything out in here
Why are you gon na have a word with that overtime as well?
If it's necessary can I have
yeah
If it's necessary
I 'm, I 'll encourage you to do it
Mm, mm
you know, if it's got to be done, it's got to be done, I won't worry about it, please ev, all I 'll say is, is, is can we please try and arrange it in advance, I'd rather
Oh yeah
you know
signing that you do it in advance rather than just
oh yeah
but don't worrying about that job you're doing, because it doesn't matter whether it's a fix fee job or
or whatever, overtime doesn't
do the job anyway
Oh
oh the hours you do get charged to the job,
normal hours
Mm, mm
which you're gon na have to do anyway
Yeah
er, so, so over overtime is an overhead really
Yeah
which we're going to have to sustain, but we can sustain
that's fair enough
At the moment we're
fair comment
okay, so er
Well he was hopeless yesterday, even had a kick of the ball, when he did he
He was a waste of space
Who?
It went just straight in
The Tottenham game was really good wasn't it?
You let them down
Yeah
you, you were meant to come on and score two goals and
Yeah
You got the score
they had the chances they tried
oh he did
he did, he put one
two chances in the first twenty minutes
Had er, I was gon na say wasn't in the game, I just thought he was kind of harden
No, every time he got the ball he'd kick it away
Let's face it, let's face it Liverpool are not an international class team, if they can't
if they can not
they are not an international playing team
Hey, switch that bloody thing off
Go on have your say Rob
I hope you're not selling this the
I think you have, I think you have to bear in mind the er circumstances
What's your address
they, they were going up
to score
Of course they were and they failed, and they failed to penetrate the defence
Yeah
until the second half, in the second half they got
they got a bit closer than Dewsbury though
I've got to, I've got to admit the second half they were lucky our goalie produced four brilliant saves in about three minutes
He was very lucky, as well, it just happened so many times he
but the point is
the point is Liverpool spent er ninety minutes over in Italy and forty five minutes in Anfield to penetrate their defence, it wasn't until the second half last night that they got anywhere near through, through, through the solid block of the defence
No, no I don't agree with that
Yeah, but if there hadn't, there hadn't of given that goal away and they were pushing forward
That's right
and they hadn't given that goal away, they'd of scored another in that half
Liverpool
mm
Yeah, but on a different day four of those could of gone in.
they, they should of done, but they didn't, the point is they shouldn't of left it the last minute, they should of done it in the first place
I tell you what they're under pressure from a hard manager
I, I, I don't and I, I I've never liked
I think
I think there's a lot of hope and promise
Well I've still got two accounts in er June
They had more shots at the target last night than anybody
the second and the fourth
He, he had about half a dozen shots and there wasn't one of them that
could of put by
You got, oh you've got a couple of days
Yeah
Aye, but there wasn't one of them that went in by
either
Aye he shouldn't, he shouldn't of been shooting, I thought
I think there were cases when he should of put it forward to Saunders, even though Saunders was playing poorly
Every time, er every time the
broke down, the er
It's academic now because they've lost and they're out of Europe
and I 'm not convinced, I am not convinced that they, that they are anywhere near the standard they used to be when they were last in Europe a few seasons ago
Yeah, well Mike it comes down to experience if they had five years of
European experience
Yeah, yeah
Not quite as long as
Jan shall we get that
I thought we'd finished them
No, not quite
Like one of those er dead squirrels on the end of the
Yeah really bushy
Have you played?
One the match that you've played
Yeah
and there was one at Southampton
I 'll have to get this on tape just to prove that
I beg your pardon
I see a friend of yours
Did you?
know erm Trevor in the pub?
yeah
He had his leg whooped off did you know about that?
Pardon?
He had his leg whooped off
Oh no
his leg, so erm, he's been moved to Royal hospital, I went to see him yesterday and he didn't stop talking about you, bless him
Ah I didn't know that, what's up with him?
Well he supposed to give up smoking, it had caused clotting in one of his legs and then it just whipped over to the other one, he's had to have it cut off
Oh god
but erm, he's got a false one and it sounds dreadful doesn't it?
Well er
He's walking round and, well he's not walking round, he's on crutches but he seems to
quite nicely
So how do you know him then?
Oh just from the pub, same as you
Oh right
so erm
Morning
Hi Mike, so he says that I've got to say hello to you, alright
Ah, bless him, what's his surname?
How did you?
I knew Steven, I knew Steven more than anything
Why who's Steven?
bloke
Which one's that?
The big tall one
The one that wears the trilby?
Yeah
Yeah, oh right
So, er he put me onto it, oh he said you've got to go down, he's missing you all, he 's, and he'd love a bit of
yeah, he was asking about you and
Ah, I only said to Chris the other day, I thought god I haven't seen Trevor for ages, I honestly did and I, I didn't think you know, anything wrong with him.
So he said to say hello to you
Ah, bless him, I should go and see him shouldn't I?
Well he's in for another two weeks
Okay, cheers Nicky
Pleasure
You put that on at the right time
Didn't I, ah, did you hear that Jan?
What?
You know Trevor from the pub
Trevor?
You know Trevor
Oh
Yeah, he's lost, had his leg amputated he's in the cottage hospital in Mold
You go and see him?
I should do really got a clot in one of his legs as it means and went down the other one and got ta take it out, through smoking
what having me leg cut off
where's that?
Talking of which, have you
What's up with you chuck?
Nowt
Are you a busy boy?
I want
I know what you can do, some of the written ones
Mm?
You can do some of Richard's that I 'm supposed to
Pardon?
I've got, I've got to go and have a word with Rob about something.
You never liked to do the jobs I say because they're always pooey jobs
What, what is it?
Calculating a percentage of heavy goods and
no, I might try and get that done
that's a pooey job
Ah?
Well the sheets are all there, as soon as I 'm a bit, got me Caernarfon done and that
I could do that, I could do, give us a job
Not today, not really
well whatever it is supposed to be
no it isn't, you haven't got no intention of shaving it off
What, what I 'm gon na do is erm
Oh you don't want to have a Robin Hood do you?
just shave that bit there and
no, oh no,
no, please don't
Or just shave me tache off
Oh
I hate beards like that, I dislike that
No not to a point
I know, but sort of none there and just all sort of down there, like sort of Brian
That's no good
sticking out of his head
oh
what's happening?
When it 's, when the, when everything's done and that, there's a few things that
What's happening?
they 'll have all green, or blue and then you 'll find that, but it might just pass over
You know I just thought of something really stupid
What've you got to do then to that thingy then sheet Jan?
Er got to work through it, new
and get down to
mm when do you want to go through it then?
If I could just erm get this done
Okay
but erm
What?
There's not a
Yeah I know what you wan na say, but
that yours are observation
Yeah
for you to take in, you know for you to look at, you've put before we
for you to
Scrutinize
mm, more, for you to sort of
consider
That's the one
That's the one he has his uses doesn't he?
He has his uses but he's not very good at brewing up
Oh that's very kind of you to
don't mind if I do, don't mind if I do, fancy a brew
For you to consider
We don't really need these now do we?
Cos we've done
Good god is that the time?
Yeah
Doesn't time fly when you're having fun
At least I've done the N T Ts, that's about all I can say, oh no, it's been quite productive hasn't it?
Oh yeah
Don't you think?
Aye ya, feel
none of it towards a survey like, productive towards a survey
Jan can I leave this with you?
What is it?
It's what I started to do on that
Oh yeah don't, don't start it
I 'm, some things are logged and stocked, so I 'll leave it, if you wan na sling anything out once you've done yours, that's all very well
Yeah, don't get rid of yet, eh please
it 'll have to go on the document location erm sheet B eight or something isn't it?
Oh yes indeed I've just taken all the dividers out
Okay I will contact Jim with regards to visits in the near future
Yeah
will that do?
I don't have to put if you have any queries
No
or will I?
It's eleven thirty
Yeah
what time do they go and lunch?
Any time
No they have fixed times
Oh do they?
Oh yes course they have
Can I speak to Tony please?
It's Jan from Mold Hello who am I speaking to please?
Ah, right, erm Tony's organizing erm, or has organized, we're hiring a mini bus and we're using
company insurance, right, now before I ask you the company that we're hiring the mini bus off, I'd like a, er a copy of the
and stuff like that so I can send it off with
Well some form of recognition that we have got the correct insurance for this service that we want.
Next Thursday I've got to take a cheque into a, well a deposit into a my
Yeah
erm
ninety two pound fifty with a
It's what?
ninety two pound fifty with a
Bloody hell, there you go
Cheers
It's a dear day in n it?
yeah
I asked him, I said before we go any further, can you get these with the complete package and he said no, they're all going back to the N H S typed thing because that's the look, the look people want
Oh it 'll be a complete change for them
Yeah, I think it 'll make a nice change
Yeah, the others were similar, I know they were different, but
He said er, he's getting me another metre all round less size round because it 'll be too heavy in that size
Yes, well
yeah well I don't want it too much more
Oh that 'll be lovely
Mm he never said, did, they put a nice
he never said what colour did they want
I mean you wouldn't put a brown one in that grey frame would you?
Because it, I think it, I think these are grey, you can get green and brown
Mm
mm mm
Mm
ooh they're nice, yes
can you hand me a sausage roll?
they're nice
yes
Has anyone rung up and told me I've won a million pounds?
No, pensions won the pools again this week
Mm, well I 'm close
Mm
Thanks for that love
Mm Quiet ain't it?
Can I have a pair of scissors, I think I 'll cut
you what?
I was being polite
Graham is boring himself in one of his car magazines
Yeah I know
it kills the time
Did you pi buy that Hillman Minx?
You could've been a real trendsetter, you could've put Ghostbuster stripes on it
one of them Graham?
Little furry dice and
Did you listen, erm, and oh you have er City on don't you in the week?
Mm
I had Radio One on this morning and on the news it said that Porsche had developed a, a base to shoe horses.
Had developed a what?
A, a horse shoe for horses that have trouble on firm ground and it's got erm a piston, a piston type system to it
Yeah
the same technology that they used for their high performance car system a Lotus or something like that
Mm what a little mine of information you have
Oh er
What I was I gon na say now
just a
it's so they don't damage their
Mm
it's good, it needed doing, it just means that they 'll race
what was I gon na say something to do about the racing car
and then they take them
a Porsche sort of horse, a Porsche horse
Mm, I 'll have to use me
it used to go fastest
because
Yeah
he said what's next for them go faster stripes
Is there a Zodiac or a Zep?
Me dad used to have a Zepper
Why?
Just professional, cruise up and down the street then home
All the Zodiacs and Zephyrs I knew were maroon with grey down the wing
Is that right?
Tape is on, would of got you anyway
Did you hear me say Rob, you know the old geezer from the pub, Trevor?
Yeah
He's in hospital, he's had his leg amputated
did he have cancer or something
Got a clot
have gangrene?
or something
mm, oh I was gon na say something before, but I can't remember what it was
About the car or the horse?
I don't know I said something to Graham about cars and then
What you said was your dad had a Zeppelin
Aye, he did buy one
My Lancia
you thought I was selling it
Yeah, I thought you'd only bought it to keep it for a year or two
You like it don't you?
Ah?
You could sell
You like it don't you?
I like it
Yeah
I love it
You couldn't sell a Lan, a Lancia to anybody who
Well
Don't you think so
sold it, she's sold it to him wouldn't you?
What you're not like
it's alright, it's a bit tame for me
It's only seventeen hundred?
What's the word X nineteen on the Lancia it's like the family car get the tartan shopping trolley in the back of it
You won't wan na drive mine then
Mm
You did though, didn't you?
Mm, get used to yours
Say is it a fuel injection or carburettor
I beg your pardon?
Has it got an I after it?
No, yeah they don't all have that though do they?
Mm
You mean
I think it's got a carburettor, what's a carburettor?
What's the difference, how do you know?
Well if it's got erm fuel injection it 'll go faster
Yeah, yeah
God, I was nearly in an accident last night, that reminds me, coming, I'd just turned off the Wrexham road, er going along the Paisword one
Mm
and there's like an old pick-up-ey type thing and then there's this young lad and a, in a work's Escort van and then there was me and I thought oh bit of a blow being behind this lot, but there's not many places to overtake down there so I was
No
just gon na have to you know be stopped there anyway this young lad after the first fast bend he went to overtake and I could see a car coming the other way and he was like er running along side this pick-up but it was like he couldn't drop back and he couldn't make it either
Mm
so he just kept going, so the pick-up jammed its anchors on, there was a Rover it was coming the other way, the Rover went up the verge
Oh my god
and the aargh, just squeezed in and this lad sort of shit himself completely and went zoom right up the road then, well I knew what was gon na happen so I dropped right back and er how he missed him I don't know, it must of been inches or itches
I bet the lad in the car just
adrenalin was brown at that particularly moment
That's the way I tell them, do I tell these, that joke I told you before?
Yeah
This is me brother's joke and I, I lay no claims to this one
A guy comes home from work
Sorry
Have you got a copy of that
that you have?
Er, yeah, well it needs photocopying
Well can I borrow it then, take a copy?
Yeah, this guy comes home from work and his wife's got the chair and she's picking it up and taking it around like this
Can you speak up a bit please?
and he said what are you doing?
She says I 'm trying to increase me bust, he says put it down he says all you need is a couple of pieces of toilet tissue and rub it between the gap
and there you go, she says well how do you work that out?
He says well it's worked on your arse hasn't it?
Rob you never remember those jokes off your brother
There's some that I can't tell though
Rob, course you can
Tell us the other one then
No way, I think I'd be even embarrassed telling you
You never even, you never told me about the one
I haven't told you
your mum told you
I 'm not going to
It's usually the parents not wanting to repeat a joke to the daughters
not the other way around
Ah, are you still stuffing yourself?
Excuse me, I didn't come and goggle what you was eating
The difference is he doesn't need to do that to get it all in one go
Can I borrow that erm football thing there?
It hasn't got the answers on it?
It's the separate sheet the answers
Mm, well, mm, mm, mm
Mm
let's have a scone
Let's have another tasty apple
Fastest, fastest cake in the kitchen that you know
Scone
That man can mumble
He certainly can your off on Monday, are you?
Monday and Tuesday
Going anywhere?
Thought you were off tomorrow
I 'm having a five day weekend
So you are off tomorrow aren't you?
Can we, are we gon na let him?
Mm
We gon na let him have the day off?
Why er why?
Well we were gon na go to the pub and celebrate my three year anniversary of suffering this department.
Ah what a bore
I can't even get back
What three years in the department or
pardon?
Which one's the bloke?
No, I just was gon na go out and commiserate with you all for putting up with me for that long, well with you lot I don't know
Some longer than others, I never forget the first day in Liverpool, I was a
wasn't I?
Mm
He didn't introduce us did he?
Right that's it get on with it
yeah, creepy little sod and have Dave, Dave show me three times how to do a five bar gate
How's he gone?
Well you go one, two, three, four, five, I 'll just show you that again to rei, reiterate the button, one, two
That's what you can do on your day off
What practise five bars then
No develop one of those things on
yes
A what, a what
the football quiz
Oh yeah
you've got to do it in four minutes
Ha, that's called premature isn't it
four minutes
The four minute mile
what about our Fergie and our Andrew then?
Well it was
on the radio, this, ah, the other day and the woman saying he's such a nice guy I don't know what could of gone wrong, she doesn't know him
Can I speak to Roger
does she?
Not really
members of the team or something when they got married, like you know
Well she will make a good team, she slept with ten other men apart from him that's
okay
Are Di and Charles supposed to be
yeah
talking to the flowers
I know see that building over there, just go, yes terrible isn't it?
mm, could just drink a nice cup of tea
Yeah that 'll be nice
at the
are we gon na sort out how many we've got?
And you've got to have
don't know
He's talking about promotions and a new edition of the project engineering and he says
I 'll have to check with
it 'll be nice
well we can count the panelling that we've got left over there, how many do we use a day?
To be honest I can't remember, I know my lot on the last thing Wigan was doing two hundred and thirty an hour, so twelve times twenty, two hundred and thirty
If we allow two hundred
Well thanks a lot Bill, bye
interviews
Mm, two and a half thousand then
an hour
that's a box
that's only a hundred interview forms an hour isn't it?
Of course, yeah, because there's two on a sheet
And that's allowing for spares as well, cos my sites aren't gon na be busy enough to do that, that many anyway I wouldn't of thought, so what you doing twelve hundred a day?
Mhm, it 's, isn't there two and a half in a box?
Is it?
I don't know
Have we got one over there?
So that's three thousand six hundred so if I add four thousand, three and a half to four thousand
Mm, mm
I'd be well in the clear then
two, there's two and a half
nine and a half boxes over here
And how many's in a box?
There's no lid on it so I can't tell
Oh
erm
Is there no lids on them at all?
No
so there's two and a half thousand
so there's five thousand interviews we could do five thousand interviews with that?
Hang on there's got ta be something wrong there, that means I 'm only gon na need a box at the most, doesn't it, hang on, let's write it out
Start at the very beginning, there's two and a half thousand
That's allowed, the maximum that we could do is two hundred interviews an hour
Yeah okay
would you agree with that?
which is a hundred forms
Would you agree?
Mm, mm
Two hundred interviews per hour, equals one hundred interview sheets there's been some very good cases of sexual harassment lately and
Mm
they're getting millions in compensation
Check the information with you
erm, so
I don't even know what they are
er I 'm not sure if I didn't
You know when people talk about you and they don't actually ask you they just mention things and hated
Is anybody talking about me?
so that's
Sorry, right
two thousand for
Excuse me
Yes mate
did I ask you to bring
no only the red boxes, I thought they were already done
Only the red boxes, what, what were the red boxes?
Well, erm
which I've sorted this morning
right have you sorted them, right, so you've done, what are these things?
Don't know with them
Don't know what Scott's already archived but why they weren't put in boxes away somewhere I've no idea
These meant to be archived are they?
Well or at least sorted, maybe they're the ones that was supposed to be left out for future reference.
I thought they'd already been done
I, produced a list of what's already inside here, er, these calculate are the files registered, they're not numbered so they wouldn't be registered, but they would surely
So Rob's instruction was that he put them in those files and I didn't think it was a particularly good idea because everything's easier to find if it's in the envelopes that we've put them in.
Now here, he's put down the interview date that was here, yeah he was starting to transfer the interview days across and I
This is er
I stopped him, I said don't do that leave them in the envelopes and mark them as they are, so what
We, actually I think we stopped him doing that because we put information on the envelopes as well which he didn't see
Yeah we divided them all up, but if me or Jan needed to refer to anything we'd recognize the information that we've put on the envelopes quicker than we 'll recognize the stuff that he's put in there
We realized too late anyway before we
Is he, did, he's labelled this wrong anyway, he's called this interviewed date for data fifty three, but it isn't interview data, it's count data oh Wigan do you
If you put it with that pile of envelopes Mike
can you sort that out cos that is Wigan and
if you leave them in the pile fair enough and I think they can go to archive, but please can you re-title the contents page and the pages cos they're not interview data it's count data, er I would of thought by now Scott knew the difference between interview and account
Why he's never done an interview
Well to be fair you're right, but I would of thought someone
Well he told me he'd gone for a count
sorry
He said he'd gone for a count for a job
Oh it's a good job we've got one wit in the team, I wonder where he is?
Posy, er right where are we?
Two hundred interview per hour equals four hundred and three sheets
three thousand
Sixty three, seventy nine
That's it
no
See again, he could of put some dates in
so, I, this needs proper registering
Yeah
been on file
well I've got another file that needs proper registering
yeah, but again I should just get some of these checked, every content, you know that the heading
Mm
it, they look
it hasn't done interviews unfortunately
Right
okay
No, no, no, we only need a hundred sheets an hour
Hello mm, mm
and there's twelve hours so we 'll only need a thousand and two hundred
Mm, mm
Which one is it?
so call it half a box
Mm, mm
Wilf telephone call, Wilf telephone
So I need one and a half boxes
Mm, mm
for, I 'm gon na have them all in the boot of the car, at all times, so I 'm gon na have two boxes please
Mm, mm
two boxes, er
that's er ten whole boxes
six thousand so
right now you 'll have
so what did we just say for you?
You need six thousands do you?
Yeah
divided by
I 'm not even sure, we don't even know his name
so let's give you three
Well my understand of control is
is one at control that you can call back in or destroyed and be replaced by
so the control copy should always be
and I want two boxes
we've already got four and a half boxes
It's a very loose definition and one which
so let's order two for us and that 'll give us five and a half, six and a half boxes
another half box spare
but I mean there's spares in them anyway
yeah
but we never actually said anything to control, we only say what's wrong with the job
and why, why people suddenly started saying we've got to go around marking
what we should be doing is marking control, control
Or doing nothing
or doing nothing
and say nothing to control
Yeah we could possibly
there's no guarantee
which there can't be can there, and say it gets lost in the post then you're not gon na have it updated
No
no
and automatically assumed
that, if it's important
even, even within our own little team
No I 'm sure your mum and dad will not find that
and we should have systems whereby if you were
what's more I 'm convinced it
and you can guarantee that you
still a human error even though you know how to do it, and we can not guarantee that you 'll do it so it, so it is, the, it is very important that nobody takes anything off the shelf automatically assume
Mind you no point in
It does matter we really need to know whether to make necessary phone calls
Right
I 'll make a note of yours
I've put yours on separate sheet, have you seen it?
The return
return actually interview
if I do effect all the
Well you're all gon na have some with your timesheets
You go and see Will then before we think about ordering it then
No, I said we 'll go round and tell, tell him what we've just worked out there, get him to say yes
Yes
and then you can give
okay
yes
How many?
Ask Tracey how, whether they order them by the box or whatever
Where, does Tracey
yeah
Oh I thought
if Tracey can get them it might be more reliable to get them from Tracey.
Could you do me a favour?
About the interview forms, what you want
yeah
No
Could you
down there?
Which one?
No do a couple please if you don't mind, because you might need a couple spare
Hello can I speak to Bob please
Have you used these things now Richard?
Yes thank you
no, why you volunteering?
yeah
You, you tell Bill what
Well I don't, I don't really understand myself what it wants, so I 'm not in a position to
Erm, is that three eight one five oh no, no sorry that's the wrong extension, er have you any idea if anyone can get to
alright, thank you er, no I 'll come back shortly, what extension should I ask for first of all?
Three eight double one, okay thank you very much, bye
goes away, everything according to plan
Why where is he?
He's at Halford today and then he goes on his holidays for a bit
Oh great
Well he's off tomorrow anyway
Don't we get a stand in?
and now we're short of paper
No, what the green
stuff?
No, there's nothing downstairs, well Steve said he had the lot, the last box
Oh good god, it's about time they got their arses in gear and started doing something properly
Yeah
Yeah, there really is no excuse is there?
I get
I ge to be honest though erm half the problem's been I think that it's been spoiling off so much crap, you know when I was doing those little things
no wonder we're going through such a lot of paper
Yeah
if it's doing that for everyone and there's a mountain of scrap paper in there
It's the way you speak to
pardon?
It's the way you speak to it
what the printer, oh don't you make me feel guilty, no I it's just stupid isn't it?
It is
how many pages you getting?
I was having about four pages, three pages before, four pages in between each one, and another
at the end as well
At least I've cracked it I think I can get it to actually page properly until Vicky comes on
Mm
Remember that report the
Oh you are kidding
So er, yeah, it comes out tonight
Alright then
Yeah she's gon na fax me the advert up tomorrow, she's gon na buy it today erm just rung Grant up to see, I was gon na ask Jo to go out and buy a paper
That's how they come then.
Oh, I quite like those, dinky doo is that, is that all of them?
Well, there's fifty two in there, that should be enough shouldn't it?
I would of thought so yeah, oh you're doing alright then
There's more in the cupboard if you want
yeah, great, thanks for these, er yeah so I just rung, I was gon na get Jo to go out and get a, buy a paper
Yeah
because we've had no bloody calls have we, but it's like our Chronicle around here, it comes out tonight
Oh yeah
but, it 'll be tomorrow when people are
You are in tomorrow aren't you?
No I 'm not actually
Nor am I, it's
I've put these
Oh I phoned Jan
yeah, they're alright aren't they?
Would you like to say two words Bab?
I don't think er, they'd be very practical really to wear them packy bags would they?
Erm
Be a bit revealing wouldn't you think?
shake your little
on the cat walk as it were
Right, did you ask Rob about the interviews on
oh right
What's the new one called?
Dee, dee, do, do, da, da, or something
no they've got another one now
are getting
with it?
No, Graham, Graham, you know all about the M sixty three surveys don't you?
right tell us about the M sixty three's surveys sweetheart, how many roadside interviews do you think we're gon na have to do?
How many roadside interview sheets do you think we're going to need to order?
How many other traffic cones ooh he's a little gem, he's gon na tell us all we need to know, but were too afraid to ask
No
Ah come on
We've got only three data collection sites, haven't got more than that
So what's that?
What erm, what you calling a data collection site?
Er a count or
That I think is just counts
Okay
cos at the time this report was put together erm
And very well I may say so
Yes yes, it 's, it's not bad
Who did this, was it Martin?
at all actually
Is, is that the one I did now you do surprise me.
Er moving swiftly along
Yeah
Oh yeah we didn't know we were doing interviews at this stage
This is quite true
but we do now
yes
Aye, Rob said there was about fifteen accounts out
Yeah, what are all
it might be I've got eleven
My gosh, my life, sort of died and I thought there was more than that
The blue and the pink are general timetable are they?
No hang on, no, no, no, no
No that's just the erm
the blue is the cord on
the cord is
the cord on blue
don't let that monkey anywhere near it, it 'll rip it to pieces
the pink is the gem card
No that's the pink
isn't it?
Yeah that's along the road some of the blue is along the railway line
Yeah
and we could take the journey time
or we could take the wheels of the tyres off
We could have one of those things like in Saint Trinian's can't we?
I've got it, I've got the laugh on record
I thought you'd be
you'd be rewinding that, if Mike had a listen to that oh dear
Pure bliss it's got account on it
Why what else do you want to know?
Three, nine, three Graham coughed at three, nine, three on the counter
I laughed
Yes sorry laughed
Right
You know the two way interviews, I don't know if they're gon na be simultaneous
No you can't do that, they ought to be on two separate days because people not
Yeah
go home the same day
yeah that's right, I mean the D B T say there's gon na be extra difficulty because, but I don't think they realize that people are gon na say I 'm not going that way because
Balls to that, yeah
you know you might you might catch the same person twice
they've got to be on separate days
they 'll be well pissed off
Well, you will
well annoyed
if they're using it to get to
Which
work and back
which junction are we thinking of interviewing that
I du n no, but the widening between six and nine
Six and nine
Stop sprawling yourself there, ah we're recording
I 'm enjoying myself
we're recording for prosperity again are we?
Oh, there's a word we haven't
Prosperity
used before
it's one I've never heard of prosperity
Which is south number?
You're nosey aren't you?
Yeah
Fifteen, O seven
Will before you disappear
Quick question, we've just been doing
What does prosperity mean?
No
a cross between a prostrate gland and
Peter telephone call, Peter telephone.
of economic wellbeing
Right
We've done a quick calculation of interview sheets that we think we, we need, I need two boxes for Caernarfon, Jan needs three, we've got four and a half boxes already, we were gon na order two just to be on the same safe, but we're just looking into erm whether we need, how many we need on the R S I's on the M sixty three cos we might as well order them all together, save
won't they have sixty
Can you go back and said what you said when the tape was switched on?
Listen
Yes
so you definitely want my bilingual now
Yes, well we decided that if they were bilingual they could still be used in
there's no need to because we've got
There's plenty left over
I know but if we print bilingual ones
Mm
and we don't use them all up, they can be used
can be used elsewhere
anywhere
Yeah elsewhere, okay
that's right
I 'll go for that
it won't be, it won't be wasted
No, okay, well I 'll sort that out with Kath then, so if I order two boxes of
You're gon na show me these things before you get Kath to print them aren't you?
Oh god, yeah.
Mm
Okay
So we worked out the maximum we're gon na do is probably two hundred interviews an hour, that's really over estimating
Mm
yeah that's the limit that, that's the most we ever did in Wigan wasn't it?
No it was two hundred and thirty
Oh was it?
Yeah, but that was just on
well I think, I mean all
we only, I don't think we've got to two hundred on any other.
So we've said that, so that's a hundred interview sheets twelve hours in a day usually, unless your name's Billy, twelve hours in a, half a day, should of said, so that's twelve hundred times two two thousand four hundred so that's half a box, call it two and a half thousand
Five thousand in a box, no, oh I see let's half a box, yeah that's right
so
you want two boxes?
Yeah
Yeah, well that's fi, that's gon na be plenty isn't it?
And we've got four and a half already
Yeah
so I just want two boxes of bilinguals
So so we've got three now, so we got, sorry we've got four and a half
We've got four and a half yeah
so if we get two, we've got six and a half?
Yeah, correct
And we need two, three, four, five
We only need five
six, seven including him
Well depending on how many of them, we haven't
Oh right, no, you said
to order
for Leek and Caernarfon
Oh beg your pardon, right, sorry
okay, alright,
Well
so if you just go for the two
you're a fleet driver aren't you Will?
Fleet driver?
You've got a company car?
Yes
Do you have your fleet insurance put on
I might
Because I need to photocopy it to send to
yeah, I think it's either in my briefcase, or it's in the car, but it's probably in the briefcase, I 'll go and have a look
Okay, so tomorrow erm I will do you a mock up for a, a bilingual one
Yeah great
okay
Tell me why isn't that phone hot?
Why?
Well weren't you expecting phone calls today?
I've just rung up to see, I was gon na ask Jo to nip out and get me a cake and see if the advert was in, but it do it doesn't actually come out, it's like the local Chronicle here, it comes out on a Thursday night
Ah, right, so it hits the shops tomorrow
so I 'm off tomorrow so I 'll tell
to put them all through to you, is that okay?
Just gon na go and fill in a
ha
You can have a look in insurance now, I 'll be grateful
Super
I do think I push me luck a little bit
oh he's alright
Mine's not printing
Why not printing?
Suddenly decided not to page properly
No unless
It suddenly says hang on, I 'm not wasting enough paper, let's shove a few blanks through, fires more blanks than the T A that thing.
No it means someone's stopped a program, stopped a printout half way through and it doesn't clear the page in
Oh is it spilling, spilling off is it?
Mm, well no, I mean this morning this one came out nice
Yeah
I've spent ages getting it so that it would er, you know, right
Yeah
and now page number is sort of out there
Something, something happens when people send a different program through and they don't reset it
I've tried resetting it and it didn't work
No I mean stop the printout and recall, reprint out and set it up
Hello Scooby's phone on the computer
no, no, no, no he's not over there, I mean put it back through to her 's, he's on the computer
yeah, yeah, did you want the spiral binder before?
No it 'll wait
No it 'll wait he says, well it's down here now
Tell, thank him very much for telling him
Tell you thank you very much for telling him.
Confused, you will be you thought it was a co, important call as well didn't you?
It was Kate
When Scott due back?
I don't know
he's got twelve days leave to use up yet I think they should of given Darren in his place to do all this
instead of making us do it, or they should of got a school leaver
Oh I don't mind cos I 'm getting paid overtime
Yeah that's right.
Get a school-ey, get a school-ey in
I wouldn't mind a school-ey a couple of months ago
Oh, he was atrocious, what was his name?
Steven was his name?
No
Yes it is
Was it Steven?
Yeah he looked like
He was a randy sod yeah
Right
but even uglier
I want, there's a lab in er
Is it men behaving badly?
With what's his face then, Harry
Yes
er, there was a lad in a sketch with him, we saw the trailer and he looked like an older version of Macouly Maulkin, or whatever his name is, what's his name?
Macouly Katkin I say
Macaukin is right
Macaukin, Macouly Macaukin
Mm, mm
Sounds like you're saying you caught me sulking or something like that no have you not seen it, he was in Inspector Morse as well.
Oh
He was one of the posh yeah
with the, yes, he was
With blonde hair
And big jug ears
Yeah, I think he looks like Macouly
He was murdered last
Yeah
he should of been murdered first he was awful
Aye he was getting on me wick
U G L Y you ain't got no alibi
He's in something else isn't he?
He was on last night wasn't he in something else?
I think he was
I can't remember seeing him
Yeah you did
out of so many programmes last week
Yeah and I shouted Mike, I said quick it's him
It's him, da, da, da, Cannonball Run
No I didn't see The Bill
Did you see a, the holiday programme when they picked the winner of that holiday the
serves her right
I was cringing
serves her right
It was excellent
What's this?
rung this person up live to say they've won this holiday for six at erm
what, what is it Mecca Island or?
not Mecca, but Mecca or something
He's had a lot of entrance as well, I mean, you know a lot of people were away, you know, like something one in
and
Yeah and Annika Rice gets on the phone and first of all she thought oh, oh, I don't think there's gon na be an answer, I, I don't think there's gon na be anyone in, why aren't they watching us, why aren't they watching
Bet they're watching erm Emmerdale Farm
So then this fellow comes to the phone, obviously his missus had entered it and he didn't have a bloody clue that she'd gone in for it and he'd just come home from work and er Annika Rice there, saying oh where is she?
Why isn't she watching the programme?
Well actually she's gone to visit her mum, she's had a heart attack she's in hospital
oh, oh well this'll be
a lovely surprise for her then
I don't you
Does she, does she ring people live
yeah, yeah
And she said er are you Mr or whatever the name was?
And when she put the phone down at the end she said that was, that was
yeah so er, that was, that was
and she said er well that seems a nice holiday for Mr and Miss or Mrs
Yeah why do you think she said that?
I mean it wouldn't be Mr and Miss if they were both
Well that'd be brother and sister
Exactly
if they were, you know
Yeah, she fair, fair like she er nearly cut them up didn't she?
The trouble was she was talking to people on camera and you didn't hear anyone laughing or anything embarrassing.
Mind you I'd get myself embarrassed in front of sixty million viewers if I was on her money
Yeah, but would you wear those awful pratty outfits?
We were having a conversation weren't we Graham?
He's been looking at that erm inspiration hasn't, do you know I bet it would if he made a cup of tea why wasn't
I won't do it if it's hinted on
You won't do it full stop
How do you
ooh I made a drink, what about bring it up then?
Oh we're so basic stop it, you beat me to it I was
Oh I have to agree with that I've been watching
Don't tell us your secrets Graham we don't deserve to know them, oh go on then so these are only your R S I dates aren't they?
What are?
Seventh twelfth, fourteenth, nineteenth, twenty third
Yeah Gina's asking when they're gon na clash with erm
Yeah
yours
Well when you get a chance I 'll have the accounts as well
The accounts are the twenty eighth twenty nine, thirtieth and the second
Of April?
Yeah and the second and the fourth of June
Second and fourth of June?
Yeah
Er what happened, why aren't you doing any in May?
Oh because of the bank holidays and the
Yeah
interviews
and according
Have we got M E 2, part of the
no
This, it's a bolt on is it?
what, not a five hundred or something?
No, it's quite expensive
Darren contact admin please, Darren contact admin
I will contact you in the near future in respect of the
is that what I had?
No
Doesn't sound as good does it as what I had before?
Why what you done with the other one?
I rubbed it out I
I think, you did have the word respect in it
In respect of the
no, er of making a site visit wasn't it?
This is end of proposed sites
Yeah
this is to the
sites the above locations
the above locations
say again
The above site locations
Yes
Yeah, one thousand two hundred and fifty same as
Erm, are we any nearer the truth?
No, what about?
Whether you visit
no, whether, what we were talking about before?
R S Is on the M sixty three
Yeah
No we no need
are we likely to just have ten?
Two
Two R S Is
Oh I don't know about that but I think they're likely on the same
it's just that there's a sense of
blah, blah, blah, recommended that interview have been in both directions despite in this difficult across, and I couldn't say when you could do that at midday, but the implication is you have to do it when you
Hello son, had your
did you leave everything?
Did he take the car?
Was he alright?
How are you feeling now?
What did she bring you for your
razor blades?
I don't think you can Graham I don't think it's
I think it, well I think it
I don't think you 'll get a
erm
You won't get the number of ten
Good stuff, good stuff
erm
You 'll probably go get the
just got really unsafe unless the two sites are like half a mile, well at least half a mile if not, but I
hand signal
When you say in two direction, I mean we there's no way they let you interview on the main line
Erm we switch you on five
Yeah
so we're talking slip roads
and you know how to test for
right, I don't think you 'll get a free representation of the traffic flow
erm
if you do road to
yeah
I mean look, and even so I mean depending on where it's gon na be
Yeah
If you've got signs on the main line saying traffic point, traffic censors ahead, you're gon na have people saying oh sod that I 'll get off at the next junction instead
Yeah
wouldn't you, I don't know how you 'll get round it
Alright, I 'll phone you a bit later on before I leave, okay.
Wouldn't you Jan?
What's that?
Like, this is that from the D T P that?
That is, yeah
That is saying that erm despite the additional costs
yeah
we want it done in both directions, there's no way you can do it on the main line
No
so you're talking slip roads
Yeah
er Graham seems to think they're hinting that they should be done on the same day
No way, I said before you can't do that
Well no
because
the safe, the safety aspect of it and I don't think you 'll get a true representation of the traffic flows if you did it both together cos like you say people will be diverting
Mm
Yeah, if they're delayed getting on the motorway and see that they're doing it the other side coming off, they might be saying
and go up
Yeah, but
to the next junction and get off
one, M sixty three six to nine this is, isn't it?
Mm
So junction six is that the big mass oh no junction seven
Junctions five and six
Oh junction six is the collector distributor so we can't do anything on that
No
Junction seven is the big A fifty six, where we did the big count
Yeah
and junction
eight is that little
eight is the roundabout
Yeah, so where you gon na go now?
and junction nine is the one where you come off and go to Ernston that way
Mm
which is not a very, but what I 'm saying to Graham is if we do it on a slip road like, cos, cos I've never done one before, if you, you'd have to have warning signs if you got a census on the slip coming off
people are gon na say oh well I 'll get off at the next one
That's what I said to you
Unless they're gon na do them on the roads there's the motorway, that's Manchester, unless they're gon na do them on the roads
Around
Yeah
yeah well
going in
er, I 'll go for that one
because you 'll be able to pick up M sixty three using the non M sixty three uses that one
Yeah, I 'll go for that
Yeah
but then you've got the two directional aspect and like the cyclones either side of the road, they can't be opposite each other, it's
No
the
states, they've got to be accurate, they've got to be at least half a mile apart
yeah but if they, if they were on slips they wouldn't be opposite anyway, would they?
You can't mess about
Well you know you could do one at the slip
Yeah, there wouldn't be
Oh no, no
You've got to do one on the slip off and one on the slip on, at the same part
Yeah
Having not done one I wouldn't know how they go about it even
No
I know it has been done, but when, For Ormskirk we wanted, we were looking to interview at the end of the M fifty eight
Yeah
and erm, about a hundred, most of it was under Manchester
Oh for Ormskirk as well
Yeah, and the others, the last hundred metres was under Lancashire's domain, and Lancashire wouldn't hear of it, even though, I mean, that was on an approach to a roundabout
Yes
isn't it, er the junction there, and there was all erm deceleration lines and that across the road, they were slowing down anyway and we were gon na really narrow the cones and they were approaching a roundabout so I
Yeah
mean they had to stop eventually, but they wouldn't buy it at all, no way
Same as
didn't think they'd accept that the two different police forces, one said yes the other said no, but then they stood
Yeah, one was from Delmonte Road wasn't it?
That's the one, he's the one who said no they're not
Yeah he was on the other end of the
Do you really think that the Jolly Green Giant puts the lights on at two o'clock in the morning and gets them all to pick the corn?
Yeah, why do you think it's a lie?
Well I used to believe that but me mum said they don't really do that, and that was one of my great illusions completely shattered
You destroyed my dreams, my dreams are destroyed
I was dead upset
I can't get upset about that no, cos I
yes
yeah, that's what I thought and, but if that wasn't bad enough, my mum because she knows these things, even said that he doesn't even say ho, ho, ho, Green Giant, doesn't, they don't even sing that song when they're working they couldn't sing, and you know the little corn on the cob man
A bit like
yeah, no I think we 'll have to liaise with Rob a bit on that
Just the ten?
Just the ten?
Yep
Yeah
Shall I throw that away then?
Don't let's throw your words away
Just let me get the
Green Giant
ho, ho, ho
Is that right?
Oh right erm to be honest I don't, the guy who set all that up has moved company, I 'm just taking over the, the care of them really, unless erm Mr said anything, erm erm, yes if you would, er just hang on a minute, erm he's got someone in
and he's busy and not to be disturbed
Right
Mr, hello I've had a quick word with Mike and he seems to think there's some correspondence on the file, I 'll have to go and find the file and get back to you, so, er you, I haven't got your, your phone number there I don't think, er I only had your fax number right, I 'll get back as soon as I can, thank you bye bye.
Mr has just phoned about all this work and as, he's saying
and he wanted to speak to Mike and I said I 'll go and check it
Right do you want a drink?
Yes please
Teasy-weasy?
Whoopy-whoopy
erm what do you want coffee?
I think I 'll have a chocolate actually
Would you?
er, oh, are you busy?
Busy
Yeah
brewing
No, I 'm, I 'm not you see so I can do it if you're busy
Oh that's very nice of you to offer.
no
bring it up as scheduled
Oh that was a very dirty look you gave me then young man.
It wasn't was it?
It was, you went
Have you put that on?
She's lying
So it's on?
words like drat and damn
Of course it is
What are you doing over your five days of weekend Graham?
I 'm going to Manchester shopping tomorrow
Are you?
With erm
with my with my girlfriend
What's her name?
Lorna
Lorna
This is still
not the ex
Ah
It is
a newy
No, they're back together, he's normal
Oh so it's the
It's an oldie who disappeared and then came back
She is back in his world, ah
but no so, ex girlfriend
No
shot her dad
Shot her father, yeah
Has he accepted it?
He, you know that bloke who you said you were on the phone to in Liverpool and he's got
, yeah
Yeah, I thought it sounds like this Liam
Liam
Liam
it's her dad
Mm
I mean, she, she
and me as well, oh
Ooh Graham ooh
I can't believe it
What's his argument now?
I treated her rotten whilst I was studying like I wouldn't take time off studying to go and see her or phone her when I saw her as often as I could, every weekend
Like what?
I drove back and saw them
Without having a detrimental effect on the studying, you did what you could
I fitted them, I fitted the studying in and more and he said oh fair enough
Some people are born that way
The things I have to do
It's wicked, so what you gon na buy her tomorrow then?
What, nothing
Ooh, that speaks for news doesn't it?
Mm
lunch
You're not going round jewellery shops or anything are you?
No, no, no, no, nothing, nothing like that
Telephone shops, you can get her a ring in there
Sorry
No we're not
no that news is full of crap anyway, he said so himself
Yeah
You mean it's a shit shop?
A shit shop
I don't believe you sometimes
It is, it is working
No, no, nothing special like that
No, just a pleasant day
Yeah
you hope
in the rain and
Oh no, if it's anything like today, which it probably will be, it will be nice.
Will you stop doing that please?
Teddy's going to vomit
if he don't stop
I mean if I start doing that
Yeah
I figure it's got to go across from one side to another
I bet they would as well
ooh, er
ooh, er
you Richard
Where's my letter coming in?
No, have ring Mr tomorrow, confirm, confirm, affirmative
Confirm the events
confirmative, pardon?
Events, relevance
Relevant
Ants
relevant, no, no, look
ant
ant
it is now
Mm I think you looked that up the other day I think I've already put ring Mr, yes, stupid boy
Mike said I've got to put a note on the fax say P S you, the charges
And is he kidding?
It's going on it
Don't
he told me to put it on it
He told you to say it, but he had a shock when he
well he told me to say it
Don't
But he told me to put it on
I don't think he's serious Jan
He was serious, it's his get out from telling you to say that in the first place
And he means to do it as a joke does he?
Yes
I still wouldn't do it.
Who's it to?
Do you know who's it going to?
What?
You have got to put it.
He was joking
No the other one
don't phone me again
Just put don't fucking
that's dirt enough as per your telephone conversation today's date please find attached copies of
Is it double M, double T and double E in committee?
I hope this will be of assistance
Hang on, double M, double T and double E
Not in that order
Exactly
Have you seen that little worm?
I knew that would take me longer
Sorry
on the, near the printer there's a screen near the table or something, it's got this little orange thing that keeps doing this
You've lost me completely and that doesn't take much I 'm sure.
Mm, this little worm
Graham will you show me your, your chinese worm please?
Hello there, hey I've come to see Mr Trevor, is it alright to pop in and see him?
Yes, yes
Mm
I 'll have to wake him now anyway for his supper so
Are you sure?
Yeah, Trev
Mm
Hello
Hello
you've got a visitor
Guess who's come to see you?
Who?
I think he 'll be needing his glasses
I think he will, he won't remember me I don't think either
Ten past five
Yes
How are you Trevor?
Oh it's Martine, hello darling
Who, he said, mm
Ah
How are you?
Alright
Good I've only found out today about you
No
I've had me spies out you see Nicky
Nicky was here yesterday
Well that's who's told me, I didn't know anything about it
Yeah
not a thing
Oh aye
and she said oh, she said I've been to see a friend
I can't write to you any more, that's the trouble
I know, it's a blow isn't it?
It is, oh well, there we are
Never mind, she said to me this morning, she said I've been to see a friend of yours, I said well who's that?
Oh she said Trevor, I said why, where is he?
Oh he's in hospital, I didn't know a thing about it, I've been saying when we've been to the Pentam, we haven't seen Trevor for a while, we haven't seen Trevor, and even Barry at the Pentam didn't tell me, he thought I knew
Did he?
Yes, and every time I go in there, I say well what you know Barry and he didn't tell me that, he thought I already knew
Well, well, well
Terrible show, ah?
Oh terrible show
Yeah
Ah, thank you darling
Card for you there
Thank you
I'd of bought you some grapes only I'd of probably eaten them myself
Well that's very nice
you did yourself more bloody
well this is it, you've got a good stock up anyway there
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
Good stuff
Oh keep well, I, I seen your
straight in the wheelchair
Oh
out in the, you know in the precinct
Yeah
I looked up the window and no, no Martine there
No I wasn't there to wave to you, I thought
Oh dear
I wasn't there to give you a wave I 'm afraid
No, no you weren't no, no you weren't anywhere
Not to worry, no working hard probably
Ah shame
These are nice isn't he?
Ah, that's lovely that Martine and who
Mike, me husband
Oh your husband
Yeah
oh aye
tell him I appreciate this very much will you?
I will do, I will do
Thank him so much, so much, well that's lovely, that's lovely.
I thought I better call and see how you were doing
Sorry
I thought I better call and see how you were doing, now we know
Ah lovely
so there we go
What's it like Marty?
It's not bad, it's dry
Is it?
Yeah, so, it hasn't been a bad day, it's been quite nice
Sorry?
it's been quite a nice day really
Has it?
if I hadn't been stuck in the office all day, if I could of been out and about somewhere it would of been even nicer
Be nice yeah, yeah, yeah, you been to the Pentam today?
so, still it's nearly the weekend, pardon?
Have you been to the Pentam today?
I called in, yeah because I said to Barry I said here I said you di, you hadn't told me about our Trevor
Yeah
Oh he said I thought you knew
Oh he didn't bother
but er, he doesn't tell me anything, he doesn't tell me the gossip
Doesn't he?
No
Do you ever see Steve?
No, I haven't done for a while see I
You
might of thought to ask him if I'd of seen him, but you know the lad I go in there with Chris?
Aye
Well I said to him only last week, I said wonder where Trevor is these days, haven't seem to see him in here, but er
Well I 'm gon na come out, I said er, I 'm going to, I 'm gon na get well, I've given myself a fortnight this weekend
Yeah
to get, to get mobile, to get going again
Yes
has been, anyway, and er after that I 'm going, I 'm going on the
oh that 'll be nice
Well I 'll be near my daughter
Well that's right
and er, they've found me a very, very nice residential home
Oh lovely
it's only twelve people in it altogether, beautiful
Gorgeous
you know, it's like a big family isn't it?
Yeah, ah that's nice
And er the bedroom they've given me I can see
out through the window so I
Lovely
oh
tut
smashing
Oh that's alright isn't it?
But before I go I said to the
today, there's a fellow there, I don't know whether you knew, whether you know him, he's on the, he's on the oil rigs he gets a
Mm
fortnight off and a fortnight on
No
and he's got er rather curly hair and he comes into the Pentam
No, I might know him by sight, but er I can't think of him
Aye, right, I met him in the, in the, what's the name of that sweet shop, Martin and somebody
Oh 's, yeah
Yeah and er, I said to Jane now I said now look before I go to Preston, I want to go in the pub
I must to go to the pub and see
Well yes
must see the boys and girls in the pub before I go in now
that's it
so I 'm coming in
Oh good
I don't know whether it's this next week it depends on her when
Yeah
by the time she comes, because to get there she's got ta come, so that, she can get me there
Well that's it
exactly about lunch time you know
Yeah
get me in there for about one o'clock or something like that you know
Smashing, oh that 'll be nice
Oh, er
I 'll buy you a beer then
Aha, ha I 'm not worried about that
I 'm worried about oh the beer here is
yeah
ooh, you shouldn't be telling me all this
They're looking after you well by the look of it
Oh they're looking after me alright,
smashing
the menu here is lovely
Is there?
Oh very, very good
Ooh I might come for me tea tomorrow then
Ee, ee you do that dear
I won't have to do any washing up at home then
No you won't do
Oh dear
Of course there 's, there's a, a very good er a very good menu to have er lamb and mint sauce and you know
Good god
or beef and Yorkshire pud
Yeah
oh, or pork
Living it up then you are
Oh aye, have to be careful you see bet I 'm not much heavier than you now
No
I 'm only nine stone thirteen
Ooh
so, you're not much more than that
No, not quite
you're not like it then?
Not quite
I got
to make eight stone
Mm, just over
Well anyway I, I be
no you've got to be very careful haven't you?
When they, when they weighed me I thought I had to have my leg off, I went to the
centre and she'd weighed me and she said nine stone seven, I said what?
Mm
Have we got any erm, oh I use
nine stone seven, I said what you talking about nine stone seven, I 'm eleven and a half stone, not now you're not she said
I said what
Well that's it
and the trauma of it all
Yeah
taken the weight off me
Yeah
so, that was that, so anyway
a fortnight ago I suppose
Yeah
and I was ten stone two
Ooh
and he said, now you've got a rupture
Yeah, you've got to be careful haven't you?
If you put more than half a stone on
Yeah
it means that your leg's got ta go and it's got ta go on the leg and all this ulcer
Mm
so yes yesterday I was delighted I was only nine stone thirteen, so
Good
I was delighted yesterday
You keep being careful and you 'll be alright won't you?
Well aye, you have
when you like things isn't it?
Well that's it
I like things you know
Well that's it
Oh
it's nice when you can enjoy your food isn't it?
Oh well aye, I like it
yes
I like a good meal, and I 'm afraid I like I use, I, I, even the girls on
chocolate stuff and all that, people say, I 'm trying to cut it out though
Well yeah
so I give it these girls, them, let them have the worry
mm
Safer isn't it?
Oh dear me
Oh my Irene she comes to see me
we're terrible us girls and what, what with Easter coming up, we 'll be eating all these Easter eggs as well won't we?
Pardon?
And what with Easter coming up as well we 'll be eating all these Easter eggs and
That's right, that's right yeah, yeah, yeah
we 'll be big fat things
When is Easter love?
Er, I think it's the, the twentieth isn't it Easter Monday?
Is it?
I think so
Twentieth of April
Yeah, that's Easter Monday, I think that's right anyway
Well then I 'll be in the nursing home
Yeah, you 'll be nice, you 'll be close to your family there won't you?
Yeah
Your daughter and that
I won't see the one, the one from Scotland I won't see
No, it's a hell of a long way
to a long way
isn't it?
But erm Jane and her husband have gone to gone, gone to Scotland today
Have they?
er, he 's, he's gon na have a day's fishing with Bev tomorrow or Saturday
Lovely
tomorrow's Friday isn't it?
Yeah, all day
Oh they're not going until tomorrow, I said today but they're going tomorrow
Right
Yeah Jane is working today so they 'll be off tomorrow
Oh that 'll be a nice break
evening and they 'll be off to Glasgow for the weekend
Oh lovely
They 'll leave the two kids at home you see, they get
well this is it, this is it, be a nice break for them won't it?
Oh lovely, yes, yes
Be smashing
Oh yeah
Very good, right
Barry's alright is he?
Oh yes
Is he still keeping everybody in order?
Yes, still doing well
Is he?
still got his nice car
What's he got?
He's got a Porsche now hasn't he?
Someone told me he got a Porsche
Yeah it's lovely, some money's worth there, I think me and you have paid for that car
We have yeah
that's true enough, that's true enough
Oh
Well he's not too bad is he?
is he?
No
He keeps his prices down very well
Yeah, he hasn't put them up since the budget
Oh
they've stopped the same
I don't think, well I don't
I don't think he 'll go over the top with it
No, he 'll not, I think he's one of the cheapest in Mold anyway isn't he?
Yes he is isn't he?
Well he was anyway
Yeah well he hasn't altered them
Oh no
We were trying to get him to do, it was Saint Patrick's day wasn't it on Tuesday?
Was it?
Yeah, we were trying to get er get him to do Guinness fifty P a pint, but he wouldn't hear of it
It wasn't
we were trying to get him to sell the Guinness fifty P a pint because it was Saint Patrick's day
He wouldn't have it though?
No, he wouldn't, wasn't having it at all
Was he not
No I 'm afraid not
Oh dear
but it was worth a try wasn't it?
Oh absolutely
Oh yeah, yeah, are you busy these days?
Yeah, keeping myself busy I've got a lot of surveys coming up in Caernarfon of all places
You're not going to Caernarfon?
I am, yes
Oh, you going there to stay?
Well I 'll be staying over there some of the time, but then I 'll be travelling every day
Will you?
Yeah, it takes
Motoring every day
Yeah, it takes an hour and a quarter it takes to get there
It will to Caernarfon
Mm, quite a haul
Where will you stay when you get, when you, when you stay there?
I du n no love bed and breakfast or something there, bed and breakfast or a little guest house or something
Hotel somewhere
Yeah, something nice so I get all me expenses for it
Aye, of course you will
so er, I might as well hadn't I?
Well
so
I know what you mean, your husband's gon na miss you there for a couple of nights
Well that's it, have, have to sacrifice it's all money isn't it?
It's all money yeah
It 'll all be worth it
Yeah, yeah, yeah
so
Yeah
I think I'd better go home and make him some tea now, he 'll be wondering where I am
Will he?
Yeah
Why is he home before you?
Well us usually he gets home around half five
Does he?
so it's getting on now though isn't it?
Twenty past love
Yeah, so er, he wouldn't of know you see, cos I only found out today, I wouldn't of, I haven't had a chance to tell him that I was coming here, but I thought well I'd call on me way home and see how you are
He 'll believe you when he gets home
Yes
he will believe you won't he?
Ah
Or do you want me to sign a
you'd better sign a
for me, no he 'll be alright, have a nice bit of tea, so I will
Lovely of you coming
It's alright, I 'll look out for you in the Pentam
Oh right
Ta ta love
Ooh that was the
lovely, I've put lipstick all
Oh lovely girl
over these nurses
never mind
will be talking about you
never mind about them
You, you look after yourself
I will sweetheart
and hopefully I will be in the Pentam when you come down
When I call I will
Yes
Yes
or if you can tell Barry when you're coming I 'll be definitely in there to see you, how's that?
Right dear I will
Alright
I 'll do my best
you look after yourself
Will do
Enjoy your tea
Pardon?
Enjoy your tea
Thank you very much Martine bye, bye darling
Alright ta ta sweetheart
Bye I love you darling
Bye Trev
It's chilly, come in.
Hello!
Look the dog 's.
You been polishing your brass on your door?
Does it show then?
Yeah! door.
as nice as that.
Mind you, you haven't got all the traffic like we have.
Yeah, it's cold!
Shut up!
Hiya dogs!
Can you turn the key?
No.
Oh,
Hiya!
Oh!
Ooh you're good dogs!
Ooh
Come in here!
You are looking beautiful!
Got so many dogs.
Go on, in there!
Is it your mother?
I know what your like.
Go on then!
got nowhere to sleep on this.
Ohhh what have done to this little dog!
Look at his little!
It should be over there.
But he doesn't
Well!
Absolutely!
Good God!
It's some weight in n it?
It's a door stop is it?
There's loads of big in the bathroom.
Well!
You mustn't have Goosey Lucy No!
What's the matter Chloe?
What's the smell in here?
What have you had for your tea?
Cos she's still in season.
Why?
Because she always goes quiet.
Usually she makes rather a fuss of Tammy, Tammy's just going out look, she's coming in aren't you?
I know you're just coming in, you are!
Oh!
You lucky dogs!
Little chews!
Right.
What for tea.
Oh shit, I haven't bought any scissors!
Oh and Mike still hasn't been fo for today at work.
I washed my hair, special!
And I've got ta pick that.
No, that 's.
You 'll love that Caroline, I didn't give it a thought I 'm sorry?
Where's your ones?
Well we 'll let you off.
I took them to work to clean my nails!
Oh, I hope you cleaned them out?
Don't want all gunge on my head!
Oh aye!
Cleaned all the snot out you know!
Erm you've got a nice smell, what have you for your tea?
Er, oh I made it, I made curry.
It's very, very mild, it's a mild curry mix we had.
Mm!
I 'll have that, if that's a curry, well we said bloody hell we never sa, chicken curry this hot before!
No!
And I only had a bit though, with rice and some bread and some
Yeah.
poppadoms.
Oh, and tomato sauce, I always have curry and tomato sauce!
Ooh yeah!
You don't!
Pot pourri, with a loo brush now!
Hey, can you tell me something
Smells nice!
?
Yeah!
Cos it like, goes a long way.
But these are some other make erm looks like Lloyd's own, it does make
Yeah.
like the but they probably made some things.
Looks like toothpaste.
Coming out?
Mm!
Cos I got, er when I bought my pot pourri there was a little bottle or more like oil, you know, like how your mum
Yeah.
has?
Erm and I had that, but I've used the last of that to be honest.
I could do with a bit more.
Well they were selling pot pourris when I was queuing up to get,
Yeah.
oh the other, the other lot were in Boots?
No.
Go for a.
Er, smells
of blackcurrant the one that I've got.
They're like bloody well erm sweaty, mouldy!
They were!
I never smelt pot pourri like it!
Good God!
Doesn't sound so good!
And I got a bag from erm Woolworths all blue shells in it for two ninety
Yeah.
five.
I 'm sure there was
Just a very flat one, yeah.
And I've started not having any to be honest.
I have about, I have half of that, quarter of that.
In work, they have to count it!
count them out, oh you're down to eight now?
Oh!
After a week they 'll soon sho, shove it up there!
But, you know
I don't think, there's more than, you take two each.
Yeah.
I couldn't back to, like I always used to have two erm but oh I couldn't go back to that!
Sometimes now if I if I 'm not careful and put a bit too much
Yeah, you picked up and is wro, the wrong one up.
Oh!
It's just
you get used to it don't you?
Yeah, that's what I've been doing cutting down gradual.
Yeah.
As I say, I've always been like it that far for ages.
Yeah.
Can't get in ten grains.
And you can taste the difference can you?
That is always out!
Oh you've took your things off your fridge?
Yeah.
They're on there now.
Oh dog!
Ooh!
Oh dog!
Coming in, yeah?
How's your mum and dad?
Oh,.
Get in there!
There's no need to be like that!
Go and sit on there, go on!
Go on!
See she'd be attacking you if she was alright.
She's moody for ages.
Your mum knows you are!
Your mum knows!
She's sulking now cos we haven't really have we?
She wouldn't go out in the car the other week so we like chained her to the wall we were.
And she ripped my nail right off, it was a great big long one!
Ohhhh!
God!
It was all blood gone on there, it's grown a bit now.
Yeah.
Watching.
we weren't speaking were we Satan?
We call her Satan now!
It's alright, but mother didn't really mean it!
Go on fatty!
Get in her corner now!
What's behind this cupboard?
Well it wa it went up and it was like that dash used to be I should think it looks alright when I've finished it.
It's all the water.
Oh right!
come here!.
It was a piece of thing and it screwed up.
Yeah!
Oh right!
Yeah.
If you were gon na switch the water on you had to run round and find the screwdriver
Oh, what a!
We had some people round
Controlled it, I was going to sneeze!
Had all these people round about the house.
When did they come?
Did you have anybody that weekend when you rung on a Saturday?
No, nobody.
Someone come the other day, what was it?
Tuesday.
And they'd been down the Lake District, they were from the Lake district.
Well he has got a job you know
Mm.
oh yeah, or something like that can't remember.
Yeah.
Well they said well we 'll go back on Thursday and he said we've been round everywhere, he said, the thing is we don't know the area cos everyone
No.
keeps saying oh it's a lovely area!
Lovely area!
I said well this is, but yo you can't take my word for it because
Well no.
I could be saying that to sell the house, but I said it is.
I said there's a lot of nice areas round here.
She said oh yes, your kitchen's lovely!
Oh everywhere's lovely, oh yes!
I said oh well
Well they will not.
They will not have it, optimi optimi too optimistic because the first people I have, won't be the first one that 'll buy it.
Well that's often the way isn't it?
So
Well I mean you could imagine them loving it!
Yeah.
You know, I mean I can't imagine anybody coming round and not thinking it's lovely cos you've got it spot on!
But no one else has nothing else.
Haven't they?
No.
Actually I've been I was sitting in the lounge today right and you know the situation there see his car going round the corner and stop and got out the car beaming at me, I said cor give him my old!
All the neighbours have seen us clip clip clop down the path.
Oh!
Oh dear me!
Get on your mats!
Tell her to budge up.
Next time she's gon na.
Good though in n it?
It's good.
Oh!
The wicker ones they've been thrown out have they?
The wicker basket thing have you?
No, probably chewed it all up!
What are you like!
She was teasing, oh it's probably the
Yeah.
wrong time for her.
They've got ta have those like cushiony ones that you can wash.
Oh!
The.
My laddie's got one of them like brown, very tough plastic
Yeah.
ones.
Ben got one of those.
That's right, yeah.
No, and her.
Ay, is Pip alright?
She bit the postman didn't she, is it or somebody, the milkman or somebody?
Did she?
Oh!
Yeah.
She does only like you.
The little madam!
Erm the
She bit the postman or
the postman I think it
because
was.
he you ee, his hand goes in the letter box
Yeah.
the window was slightly open and Pip was sleeping under the window in the conservatory
Oh.
talking about, you know.
Looked out well he put the letter on er the it was slightly open so he had to put it you know, I mean the postman
Yeah.
and the next minute rar rar rar
Oh my God!
Well, my mum said he should put them through the letter box.
Yeah.
Or I mean I think he 's, she's bitten him before, if he had any sense he'd leave them at the gate or something, I mean somebody would go for them.
Yeah!
Wha, silly fool!
No sympathy with people like that!
And the best laugh is erm my mum, like, with Laddie like Laddie wouldn't hurt a fly and she can hear the postman sometimes, my mum get back!
Get back!
Get back!
Just cos he's barking like a welcome.
Mm.
And er, he's petrified, well that's no way to talk to a dog and if you're gon na start off being aggressive they're gon na go for you you sho
Who's petrified, Laddie?
Oh the postman.
The postman!
Petrified of Laddie, good God almighty!
Mm.
Well my mum sees loads of dogs and that and she just, good boy, good boy!
Yo, I mean if you ignore them practically they're alright.
Yeah.
Wan na a fag?
Give it up.
I 'm going mad!
Oh you give it up?
I have.
The what?
Ay do you wan na dirty weekend?
. Worm Chloe oh got ta worm you soon Chloe.
And you mum?
Oh erm Tam if you're in this house.
We 'll have to ring this vet up see where your cards are.
Dear Tammy and Chloe it's booster time!
To see where what's gone?
They send them a post card through and I thought it was about February, but Win reckons it's the end of March their booster time.
Oh!
And er to see when we go every year don't they?
I haven't!
You have.
I 'll bloody well tell Nicole!
Get knotted!
They're not, they're real.
How do you get
They're real.
your nails that long?
Don't do any housework!
!
They're not!
I 'm growing them for the wedding, they 'll have to get cut because I break them.
Mm.
But I, they are real these.
Then they grows a lot and they all break.
I've always had strong nails.
No well mine aren't strong.
They don't grow very nice shape.
I keep saying when they get sort of quite long that I 'll have them properly shaped and
Mm.
whether they'd stay in the right shape or not.
Well that one grows like a claw.
Yeah.
That's how Susan's got, Susan's are so bloody thick you know!
Well they are.
And they curl right over, ooh!
She's got back from er, Tunisia.
Yeah.
I haven't spoke to her, I meant to ring her today but it's been all bloody go!
Erm but she's had a nice time.
But I told you on the phone didn't I, it rained and
Oh!
whether she 'll have much of a tan or not, I don't know.
I don't think she was that bothered, I'd be annoyed, like!
I don't mind, I wouldn't of minded it a bit dull to start off erm and it would of probably done her good cos she wasn't used to it.
Mm.
You'd be a bit pissed off wouldn't you?
If it didn't if you didn't have any sun.
But, you were saying erm your dad's mum and dad had been
Oh
and it was raining
they thought about that.
Cyprus, did you tell me?
No.
Saudi no.
Oh was it?
No, no Saudi!
Near the Sahara Desert anywhere, somewhere, tha, somewhere round there I think.
Oh!
And they'd had rain hadn't they?
Mm.
And no end of people!
Erm
But get a picture of something.
Yeah.
Well Susan would have been home now.
Oh.
You know the sunbed you had was it a fast tanner while you was on holiday?
You've asked me this before, it was a fast tan.
Oh do they?
Yeah.
How often do you go under it?
Oh or was it?
Oh, make your mind up!
Yes, it was you.
Er
How often did you go under it?
I went every day.
Every day?
.
I started off qua, er quarter of an hour so half ha, it was only one of these things that goes over the top.
I just did half and half and then I built up with the second couple of days then I did twenty minutes and then by the end of the week I went twenty five minutes half an hour.
And er
Oh.
just built it up from there.
How many weeks is that for?
I think I had it for about six or, six or seven weeks, something like that.
Cos I had it for a month, cos I didn't know whether I was gon na like it, I'd never been on one before and er I'd heard Judith say that you could feel claustrophobic, you know, with it over you
Mm.
but, so I said oh I 'll have it for a month and then I 'll tell you then whether
Yeah.
I want it extended and that was fine.
But when I rung to take it, for them to take it back they had a special offer on and it was twelve weeks for forty pu, pa, you know, were doing it cheap
Mm.
cheaper than what I'd had it for but I mean they always do something like that
Mm.
don't they?
You can guarantee it!
Erm I'd have one aga, I mean, I wa I wanted mine for Alan's wedding so I could have a nice tan for, with my suit.
Erm cos I'd always said ooh I wouldn't ever have a sunbed and all that, but I did in the end, cos we weren't gon na go anywhere so
No.
and, like I said I mean anyway if you've got a tan
Mm.
you can wear your nice summer clothes I'd hate white legs!
Mm.
Erm and I du n no, you just feel better, you feel good, you do.
I don't well like, we're not going abroad so I want one but they're so bloody cumbersome and I don't want it
Yeah.
I got nowhere to pu, hide if anyone comes round.
Yeah.
So I don't
Yeah, this one, you could store it up on it's own
Yeah, but they're still in the bloody
but
way aren't they?
That's it!
No, this one yo, well we had but it wasn't a fast tan.
Yeah.
Are you going to do much on ano, on a fast tan one this time?
No, well like I said I mean I didn't think mine had tanned me that much until I saw the photos from Alan's wedding, I was like a nigger.
Mm.
Erm but he was a good chap, this one, he come and delivered it, set it up and
Yeah.
all the rest of it.
It's the one on er, the Aston Hill by
Mm.
the plaque.
Erm but like, ideally, I said oh yes we can have it in the spare room, well there was that much rubbish in there clothes and God knows what else I ended up having it on our bed well it every time you wanted it you had pull it out, and they're bloody heavy!
It was
Yeah.
on casters but the wheels
Yeah.
weren't much cop!
So it was a bit of a pain but
As soon as I sell this I can get one.
Sell it tomorrow then I 'll get one.
Yeah.
An and the other thing is of course, when I first started going on it you can't read while you're on it
No.
because you have to wear the goggle
Yeah.
things and mine kept steaming up.
Erm so it's a bit of a I kept falling asleep.
Well I'd be sitting there thinking oh God, I wish it would hurry up!
You got nothing
Yeah.
to do!
That's it!
It's alri, like Judith has got her own
Yeah.
and every night she'd be on it!
She'd be in the bath, on the sunbed, and you know, out like on a Friday night that was her, bath, sunbed
Yeah.
out she'd go like.
Erm
But I mean she didn't hers wasn't fast tan one.
Mm.
Well she never looked brown all the time, do you know, I don't think it affected her after a while.
I think it was just the thought that she'd been on it you know, and a nice bit of heat and everything, relaxing.
The first time I had mine I was falling asleep and does a big click when it
And it wakes you up.
wohhh!
And I
I used to
used to bang my head on the bloody thing!
With
Cos it I used to get know when it, when it, soon as it goes tick, tick, tick, tick, ti ti ti ti ti ti tick!
Yeah.
It's not straight off.
Ooh I like them.
Horrible!
And it goes all black then doesn't it?
Yeah.
Mike come up a few times.
Said ay what are you doing?
Said nothing!
He said you've been up here an hour and half!
I said, oh I'd only have the timer and it let's you do half an hour at a time
Yeah.
so you can't fry.
And er I'd fallen asleep, it had clicked off and I was still asleep!
But er he went on it a couple of times couldn't didn't like.
Aye Win said he was there and er sometimes he fell asleep and I'd be oh Win!
Win And he, he'd be fast asleep under it!
Yeah.
And then, I never went to sleep but I went sleepy but not didn't actually sleep.
Oh I was out like a light!
But on the I don't think you'd bloody wake me if I had one now!
I've been terrible!
Nine o'clock and I'd have to go to bed!
Du n no what's wrong with me!
Ooh!
And it's just not like me, I'd just be feeling tired all the time.
I was like that once.
I 'm not so bad now.
So right where's the
Where's Win tonight?
He's at.
Where is the best place to sit?
Er where did I do you last time?
Nearer the light.
Can we shift this table a bit that way or other way.
Erm, what was I gon na say, oh aye, Mike said to say to tell Win
Mm.
to remind him about the cars.
I said I've reminded him once!
forget you know!
When they get the time he 'll be, turn up sometime.
Ah
And so anyway, he's bringing the money round sometime next week.
Okey-dokey
You 'll have to now won't you?
Yeah.
He's frightened
to do.
Oh.
That's the least of his bloody worries!
Him
Oh.
turning up!
He's been made up this morning, he's had a big tax rebate, fifteen hundred quid!
Has he?
Oh!
Mm.
Tax re, yeah.
The cat that's got the cream!
Do, let me just drink this and I 'll do you.
No!
Oh!
Oh!
You're busy in work then?
Yeah.
Who was the feller that answered the phone?
?
I'd got through to a girl I said extension two three six and then oh and the feller said er
I've changed now four two three
Oh!
three now.
Two three three.
Got a different office now.
Oh that was Dave.
Oh.
Pretty much
!
Well he's okay but yo we've all had to muck in lately because of all this change and he moans and he moans and he moans and he says, outright I 'm not doing that!
Shall I tell you something now, he doesn't do it!
And he gets away with bloody murder!
And I said to him for God's sake stop bloody well moaning cos we've all got ta muck in!
Oh, if you don't wan na
get out!
What am I supposed to do then?
Is he a newish bod?
No.
He used to be a a driver, a driver, and then he used to be a driving supervisor and now he's in like, in traffic now.
Oh!
He's not he one that took this warehouse coordinator job?
Oh no, he's been sacked!
Oh has he?
Well he he didn't take the warehouse manager's job.
Didn't he?
He like er they thought he was too good for that.
They've sacked him now.
Mm!
What, they thought he was too good or he thought he was too good?
No but they thought he was far too good for him, put him on as trainee manager then they sacked him!
Oh right!
Oh he's the one that was a bit flap
Mm.
Oh right.
Do you put a lot of conditioner in your hair?
Yeah.
Only a bit.
Why?
Well it just feels sort of
It's quite dry at the moment really.
Oh it's done really good!
No, looks as though they've done you some sort of.
Wayne said tell Martine when she cuts your hair she's not to cut the sides a lot, she 'll cut it, it's quite different from the length between the sides and the back.
Okay.
Yeah, and there was the last time I cut it I remember.
That was ages ago.
Cos there was already a a difference.
I tend to trail the sides the though.
You know, wrapped round my finger, and then
Yeah.
it weakens and breaks it off.
Why who told you that, Wayne?
What?
No, I don't know why, it must do.
The sides always seem thinner and shorter than the back.
Yeah, cos like these bits as well, like some
Yeah.
of those are your fringe bits growing down aren't they?
So that they make it as though, as though it doesn't just go fringe and then down, it sort of
Yeah.
a little bit
I know what you mean.
stepped.
Are you gon na, gon na put a towel round you just there?
Yeah, have a look in that cupboard there.
Oh you found them.
Shall I get a tea towel or a real towel do you want?
I want a the bottom one.
Yeah, that 'll do.
Nice tins them!
They're quite nice!
Mm!
So erm, Charles mum bought them.
Mm mm?
Mm mm!
Not too much of it then.
Well why don't I not take anything off the side?
Well I said, just don't of me being in line.
Mm.
Yeah, I see what she means.
So that's what
Please!
you want the back the same length as the side?
It has to.
How much will you have to take off?
There's that much.
Make it the same length.
Mm.
scalped.
Yo, to get it the same as the sides
Mm.
you'd need to take a good half inch.
Oh!
Oh I don't want that much off!
Not if I take a quarter of a inch.
Yeah, take quarter an inch off the back.
I 'll just trim the very dead ends off the side there.
Yeah.
It needs the dead ends cut.
And this one.
I mean it doesn't look bad all over really.
You know er there's no tatty ends as such.
Well I think there is.
It looks awfully dry.
Ah yeah but it makes quite a difference though.
Might have a shop opening soon.
Have you?
But not this last time cos Rose did it last time.
having to cock up.
Yes and she's had a little boy!
Hadn't she had that then?
Er.
she
I wonder whether she 'll do a bit of you know, going round?
Yeah, she says she will do.
She might, she could take the baby.
She says she's going to.
Did she?
Yeah.
Better had do.
Yeah.
Well I I want mine permed really for the wedding.
I fancy one of these spirally type perms.
Yeah.
How do you do
that?
It's just the way they roll the curler on so I've been told but erm whether it's simple as that or not I don't know.
Mm.
You know, like they'd have to put a bit of a twist in it I suppose.
So it sort of comes out sort of ringlets
Yeah.
rather than a curl.
I du n no, I 'm gon na try and see if er if Sarah will do it for me.
You know the the?
Yeah.
See if she 'll do it.
Oh she does them?
Yeah, she's with er, Raymond and Jason.
But I wouldn't go to them
No.
really but seeing as I know her erm I thought I might give her a ring.
Are they building their house yet?
Yeah.
Looks really, very nice.
Yeah??
Yeah.
I just don't like where it is!
Where is it then?
It's on the common in Buckley
Yeah.
Erm well it's not sort of by itself, you know it's er surrounded by houses re, lovely houses, you know that are
Yeah.
big er, detached houses that have not long been built as well but to me, I can't see there being much privacy.
Or at least, not until they've planted you know, shrubbery and
Oh!
what have you.
But erm they're going through a bit of a wouldn't say a bad patch but with living with their mum, with their
Yeah.
mum for so long it's driving Dale round the bend!
Takes it's toll.
Well that's it!
And she's in her element like, with her mum, because
Mm mm.
with er the dad being dead
Yeah.
she's been you know, used to being with her mum, I suppose she felt even closer than any normal you know, relationship.
Yeah.
But er it's taking it 's, taking it's toll on him.
Ah ah!
And what about Alan and Sandra are they?
They're alright.
Alan rung me the other day.
But er perhaps he didn't no, cos did I, did I call?
No.
another guy.
Erm
No, he rung up said how you doing, alright?
He says yeah, fine.
I told you he spewed up on Sandra didn't I?
No.
Oh the dirty bugger!
Well they were going out.
At home, you know in Lichfield
Yeah.
They'd been out and er I don't know who they'd been with like but he must of had a bit to drink.
Anyway he woke up in the middle of the night, sat up and spewed up all over Sandra!
Said you dirty little bastard I said!
If Mike had even got a bit on me I said I'd have bloody killed him!
I said it'd be divorce, grounds for divorce that, I said I wouldn't have that!
Urgh!
She had to get up and wash her hair and urgh!
The dirty git!
I said I bet you were popular.
Is she working now?
Yeah.
I don't know quite what she's doing.
Oh.
Some little county or something like that.
Westminster.
Yeah.
Oh!
So er, yeah so he rung up
Mm.
said oh he's not here I said, he working.
Oh I said I 'm coming up we're just on our way.
I said oh I said we're going up to my mums.
Oh it was the dancing school.
Said it was a fortnight ago and
Mm.
er, I said if it had been a normal Saturday I said we'd have cancelled that you know, we'd have met you in Duffley but er, I said my mum's supposed to be dancing.
So erm you know, I can't do much about it.
Oh never mind, he said you 'll have come down here, I said yeah.
Have you been down there yet?
No.
Mikes been down before though.
Sometimes.
Erm so then so we sort of finished off having a chat, he said, oh we 'll see you when we see you.
So I went back into the spare room, I was doing some ironing which was on the you know and the next minute the phone went!
Oh bloody hell it's like a mad house here!
Anyway, I went to the phone hello!
Hello!
Alan?
Oh, he said I've done the wrong number!
I said who you trying to get, Daisy?
He said ooh yes, he said oh, I said God, I said you must just remember that this is the number you've just bloody dialled!
No, he said I didn't!
Ooh there's one for you, Mandy's pregnant!
Oh is she?
Yeah!
I knew she would be.
As soon they come back I reckon it was conceived when they went skiing in the week.
What does Daisy have to say?
I haven't seen, we haven't seen them.
We've only heard via the grapevine.
Oh!
So er I reckon she just want a skive from work to be honest!
She said bef, you know, she said before oh yeah, you know, when we've been having a joke she said oh God I could do with a break from work she said, oh yeah!
Not much of a reason is it, to er
Not really.
Yeah, I reckon you wan na grow these sides down properly now and stop twiddling with them!
It's the sides that are dry.
That's not bad.
And erm when Glenys is back on the scene get her to level it all out for you.
So she wanted it really dead level in the front I reckon you 'll need a whole inch off your back here.
Bloody hell!
It's nice and thick though.
And you haven't got that twiddly bit any more where your head used to go.
You know, when you get up in the morning.
Yeah.
I don't think I 'm gon na take any more off to be honest.
Don't, just cut it straight.
Twiddly bit off there.
And my fringe.
Yeah.
Yeah I mean, like this bit here is very white blonde as well.
You know, your hair li, I suppose this has dried as well
Yeah.
because you cos it's been by your face like, the back's still wet.
But erm it's a different texture like, with the colour as well.
So the next time you have it streaked don't tell them to keep those bits out of it.
Although you can't because you'd have to have the the top done wouldn't you?
No, when you just have your roots done
Mm.
she doesn't touch these bits with
No.
does she?
Yeah.
Cos it's a lighter colour there.
Yeah.
And then it's a lighter colour.
all different colours like a tiger.
Yeah.
Which way shall I turn round for the fringe?
Erm you're gon na have to
Turn this way.
What you doing with the fringe then, just that'd be like fringe.
Are you cutting it?
No.
I hope you have!
!
I hardly cut it shape the ends.
You promise you didn't get any edges.
I am not!
It's not straight.
No your fringe is like erm dry like the sides isn't it?
Mm.
You've been cutting haven't you?
I have not been cutting it!
I 'm telling you now, I haven't!
I 'm sure you wouldn't dare as well.
Mm mm mm.
Oh do you?
You're alright, yo you only just make.
Do you have your washer on every day?
Yeah.
If it's nice, you don't think oh I better do some.
Have you got a mirror here?
I 'll show it you.
It's in the.
It's just on your right there.
I 'll get the Have you layered it?
What do you want?
Have you layered it?
No.
It's on
Do you see much of Stevie and Karen?
No.
Well we saw them, we were outside the chippy one night and they were going out they were whatever you call it?
Oh we want to go out!
We want to go out!
Okay then.
She's oh she's put weight on, she looks.
I mean she dresses up well..
Mm mm.
So he often enough does he?
Yep.
Apparently they're looking for a house now.
I can't see either of them making a commitment.
Mm.
Anything like that.
How old is he now?
Must be about twenty two.
So he's young?
No, but she 's.
Go on the beach?
?
Really?
Yeah.
But though?
.
Oh I see, they have been about for a while.
Ay?
Haven't really been over as well.
Yeah but I think they should.
Mm.
Twenty one again isn't he?
.
Your friend talks a lot about them now don't you?
Or something like that.
You been exercising?
Ay?
Mm!
All those!
We 'll get Sarah as well.
That er I thought that was quite good that in n it?
What?
Go and put some bi bit of mousse on it now.
Okay.
And then you can it for me.
Super!
Are you gon na go up?
gon na do and let?
Yeah well we 'll sit in there.
If we can work it.
Why what's up with it?
Well it's falling apart in n it?
Can't you afford a new one?
Well could of had a new one.
The last two years it's been falling apart so we have to ke kept kept folding the wheels back on
Ooh sorry!
things like that.
Bloody hell!
Is it in here?
Yeah.
What do I want now, mousse.
Ooh you are good dogs!
You are good dogs!
Have a quick hoover.
Hoover the bits of hair.
You 'll have to move from there my sweetheart.
Oh God where's the bloody thing on there?
That 'll do.
That 'll do, dogs!
Good God almighty, there's a thing!
Isn't it?
There's a bloody thing!
Cor!
You managed to work the old thing.
Yeah!
It doesn't stay up when you
Oh no!
It falls down and cracks you on the head and things like that!
Actually I've moved it a bit too far that way have I?
Oh let me do it.
Only wa, still a bit long that way.
Okay?
It's close.
That's bet, better.
Oh sorry Tams!
Oh you 'll have to come over here.
by the dog.
Push the things out.
Got a big wire on it.
Oh is it?
Ooh sorry!
It's a bit professional this isn't it?
No,.
Big shot.
Is this a new one?
Yeah, well the other one, bought me one for Christmas it before Christmas we went and got this.
It's got a diffuser as well.
Put the diffuser on.
I find it dries, it helps a lot that does.
Can you put loads of mousse on?
Yeah well
Come on then!
Ooh!
Do you wan na mint?
No ta!
Wasn't asking you sweetie peetie Well you're supposed to.
I want it styled, right that 'll knock the socks off my husband when he comes in!
Oh my God!
What do you expect!
Why, what's the matter my hair?
Ay, I 'm not very good at the old styling lark, I 'll say.
Put that there so it doesn't choke him.
Put that there so what?
So I don't flick my ash everywhere.
Hello!
Better watch out now she's gon na come and get me with this bloody thing!
Ooh ooh ooh!
Erm right.
Oh what have you done to it?
What?
Well it's all over the place now!
Shut up!
Now, how do we do this then?
Erm.
Bloody hell fire!
I never use a hair dryer any more.
Oh Christ, I 'm not very good at this!
I don't wan na pull you!
I 'll tell you when you pull me!
Oh well when it hurts anyway!
Oh hang on, I can't do that!
I 'll have to do it like this.
They always kept the the brush moving and that don't they?
Yeah alright then.
Well I don't.
I 'll have to do it like this!
Tell me if it gets too hot on your head.
Right.
Well it probably is.
So have you got to, is that burning or
No, it's alright.
Too hot?
It's in my ear though!
So do you think?
So you still haven't been to see this house in are you?
Your not gon na tempt fate?
No, not yet.
There's a little row that goes down beside it round the back, I never knew there was.
Don't ooh!
Er nearly took off then!
Erm you go down a bit of a lane and it's gets you on the through road doesn't it?
Yeah, you go up a stream, a river.
Yeah.
Ooh the dogs will like
A pool.
it down there.
Oh they love it!
Are you going?
I never been round there I went up the other.
We went to the river in the car.
Is there much water in it?
Well didn't go in my car, went in his!
In the.
Ooh you got a floppy ear!
I know!
I know!
Ohhh!
Well I don't know whether this will like impress Win when he gets in.
Probably go out again!
No, I must admit your hair is looking a lot thicker and healthier.
We have lift off!
?
What?
It's alright, is it blowing?
Oh God, I don't know how all the hair, how hairdressers could stick doing other people's ha, I think your i, your own is so much easier to do because you ac, you do it your own way.
Yeah.
That's it.
I'd be too damn anyway, I would!
Hot?
Blowing cold on my back!
Really?
Well this should of done.
Oh what?
Oh the.
I'd assume that's nice.
Oh!
Oh!
We 'll have to go and.
You what?
You know, and I told you about that I 'm having my er done.
Yeah.
Well he's he's nearly finished it now inside, well he's transformed it no end!
It's all fitted cupboards, swirling table spotlights!
Oh good God, very nice!
So it's about ooh
That's when we're to help out with?
Yeah, he's got a few big jobs.
Oh Bugsy, go and lay down!
She's daft, she's sitting on this!
Mm mm, yeah.
Laddie used to be like that didn't he?
You know, when his and
Oh!
nudging you.
How are they, your nan and granddad, alright?
Yeah, fine.
Seems ages since I saw them.
It was new year or
Well
Christmas wasn't it?
New year.
Whe when did you see them last, Christmas?
Yeah, I went with you didn't I?
I had my Santa's hat on.
Oh that's right.
We came with you, what were we doing?
I du n no!
You said you were going to your mums for something
Oh that was right.
and I come with you.
You were coming down the Pheasant pub then were you?
Aye, that's right.
Oh what's she been chewing?
A mint.
Oh I thought it was chewing gum!
Do you want your hair done as well?
Don't like the hairdryer though do you?
Laddie hates it!
He tries to bite
Don't think she likes it.
Oh!
No, you don't like it.
Ooh show me teeth!
She's a big softy isn't she?
How old is she now, four?
Er, well no she 'll be four the end of the year.
!
Ah!
Dale left me.
And my dad's picking me up.
Ay how did you get on that er oh wait till I've finished this bit.
Stop it!
What?
How did you get on that Friday we went to Chester?
Yeah?
And you Winny's things, did he like them?
Oh yeah!
He were made up with them!
Was he?
I didn't need them though.
But they're nice.
Ooh!
Exactly what you said he'd say!
And how did you get on on your night out the fo this Friday night?
Oh it were crap!
Was it?
Where do you go?
You meeting in the Falcon weren't you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
, bloody hell!
It's terrible when they start laughing!
Oh that's pretty!
Ooh she's beauty!
Ooh a little punky I was laughing at the sheep up at my mums tha over the weekend, they had that many you know they get branded well
Yeah.
they had green, they had red and everything
Ah!
they look like punk sheep!
Right what do you put a bit on and then erm dry it with a hairdryer.
Oh this'll be a good idea!
Right, we 'll do this.
What we're doing?
We're gon na make it stay.
So as that you don't, you won't even have to run your brush through it in the morning, how's that?
Oh superb!
Right.
Stop it!
Yeah, yeah.
It 's!
No don't, don't cos you 'll hurt me!
Oh!
Ooh that's nice!
Sit down!
Tickle your ears!
!
Has it worked?
Oh yes, I've cracked it!
Oh love it!
She's got the hang of it at last Chloe, you're alright now!
We're getting there.
We're onto a winner now.
And the next.
Oh stop it!
I think I might dye my hair blonde you know.
Peroxide.
Do you think it will suit me?
I don't know.
Go on then.
Well if you use that streaks at the front why don't you try a wig on.
Werhh hoo hoo
Good idea that is.
Just you make up for it.
Oh!
lately, so.
Don't have to.
How are you?
Don't beat him up!
Erm no I don't think I have actually.
Oh.
No so.
You 'll have to have a go at them with all these rabbits!
I've said no.
Oh oh gosh!
What you talking about me?
How did you know?
I was here.
I was in the army.
And ca!
Go on!
He made you
And then he says, then he says, no, we went to and he's in the gym so
Ha!
and they left me behind!
Your worst nightmare's come true!
And what the hell do you think!
What did they say?
And what did Mick say?
It's not a little dream.
Erm don't get advice.
It's er the wedding that causing the problem isn't it?
That's the ultimate.
Tony foretells difficulty or a journey followed by a successful issue in your
!
But becomes a serious matter.
No that 's.
didn't it?
Just wanted the horse and trap basically!
When I woke up I didn't really wan na go!
Normally like the isn't it?
With the
I went
you know, you can have
I hate it where that girl is!
You know you're not gon na get back to sleep until you've been!
Don't you just hate it when that happens!
Don't you just!
Oh!
Right are we onto and structure, page two of this.
Okay.
Yes.
Great!
Great!
Great!
Great!
Great!
Great!
Great!
Great!
Great!
That bin's getting on my wick!
I saw Peter last night.
I said bloody hell don't you dare bring him in!
He says, I've been about, he said I see you still sleep in your bed, but you're not putting them bloody pistachios!
we used to eat loads of them and er keep all the shells and then put a few in everybody's bins, so as they're not pissed off!
Well it's boring just putting them all in the the same one, in n it?
Oh God!
We're gon na meet Graham today!
Bastard!
He's in Manchester today and
Is he?
Buy an engagement ring.
He's not!
We asked him that.
Ah!
Well I 'm just.
Well you'd laugh if you see my girlfriend!
. Have you crossed this outside?
Yeah.
He won't be wanting to work either.
Oh not,.
How do you spell work!
Here are, lots of new know about.
Thank you.
But he's coming back later.
Oh!
Come on!
We want to get those.
I know!
Oh well, yeah!
No.
Definitely!
Denise has got one of those as well though ain't she?
What?
Money!
Yeah.
Nineteen ninety two.
I 'll do any notices announcing police officers.
You could of said!
You'd better hope and pray that you wake someday into your own.
Don't like smoking.
Mm mm!
Okay!
So
So what bit is okay isn't it?
No?
No.
Aha!
Missed that.
Had read poisoned er located on the murderers in the area around.
Come on!
The will be O seven hundred, two nineteen hundred hours.
Mm mm mm mm, service station, mhm mm.
Behalf of the Welsh Police of Swithra Cymbra
Stop swearing!
Mm mm mm.
Agreed with the Chief Superintendent?
Ah!
I don't know whether that is what he's gon na be called.
The police officers at the service station which is course of action.
That's still the same, the nineteen seventy four road traffic act, that hasn't been updated that we know of.
Mm mm, mm mm mm,.
Ooh ooh hoo hoo!
All located on two lane roads when no bike has.
Correct?
Mhm.
It is essential therefore, the true, mm mm mm into reverse, mhm mm mm even in time.
Okay!
Right.
Morning Billy!
Morning!
Early bird?
Early am I?
Half past nine?
Not early is it?
It is for you.
Lunch time not!
Right, each service station will have a supervisor
Don't get off me trying to be funny.
see the officer
aye, what the survey, stroke, site manager.
.
I reckon that one should be sur survey stroke supervisor it should be.
Survey manager, stroke survey.
Mm.
Because it's the.
Well no, I don't think we need to put stroke supervisor, ah?
We're gon na be the survey manager and not
Well that's gon na be
su they maybe.
Survey
Survey manager.
And survey manager is above supervisor so in a way then
Okay.
You know, it's not worth erm so the last paragraph that you find is twenty nine.
We could just put manager couldn't we?
Or advisor, manager couldn't we?
Er well I just want to you did say you can quote
Erm
no problem, anyone that.
made u well up to a under twenty drivers.
Yeah, okay mate.
Yep.
Erm and it's Mark John.
Er?
Er two years.
Service
Yes.
catered and designed
Jason William.
How old is he?
Er, seventeen.
?
No.
These are stunt school.
How about that.
The survey manager has located and designed the survey stations in the Chief Superintendent or whether he's had them built.
That covers it dun n it?
Oh erm
I was gon na say is it necessary to put and will be at the survey site at all times to ensure a smooth operation.
Well it's
Got ta say it up there doesn't it?
it's got ta go up there so
Yeah.
I don't think you need it in.
And that's it for that in n it?
There should be some more there.
Hello!
Yeah.
I 'm.
that's a special one!
Ooh why thank you!
.
How did you come across that?
Been in my filing tray for about two years!
Oh!
.
Oh, okay.
I thought we were, I can't find it.
Erm
Oh alright.
Oh, yeah that's what I thought.
These the files?
Yep.
That one.
No, that's the fax machine
Yes, fuck off!
Yes.
He doesn't think!
Well you know tha were you on our division?
Mhm.
So who's responsible for ordering downstairs.
.
Who?
Gail is.
Oh is that right?
It's up on the poster here as well.
It isn't Tracey then?
No.
No.
Tracey don't do it.
It's Chris and then.
Just writing something.
Ah, drop all your things if we're gon na start
the fully, are we never, are we only gon na have a supply?
Oh good cos you've got them.
Around A Audbury
Because we're loony
Tracy will do all
Okay?
the files and what er
And others I could mention!
You shouldn't, shouldn't
to be asked!
You should both have everything there
Right so that's
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well then
Erm
The local
Yeah.
bus company and emergency services have been informed of the survey as well as local members of parliament.
The best one to talk to and get something done is erm
And then we need members
Erm.
of parliament.
.
All local bus company
Erm
No.
Ah, I didn't realise that made fo
Right, so his actual
But a is because it's been used though.
That 'll be
Aha.
I mean that doesn't include any assessor of payment
No.
Mine's just reading the emergency services have been informed of the surveys.
Yeah.
Erm
Right, so what's the point of that?
Well, I 'll have to er, send you a copy of my er invitation to renew from the
So I need the?
Yes.
Yeah, okay.
Well my accounts er
Mike, shall I put stroke in there?
Yeah, and you 'll have to erm
Yeah.
And I put erm I just, areas.
On there, yeah.
I don't know why it's called.
Survey managers, right.
We can always change it, managers whenever.
What I 'll do is er those out and actually have them as a you know, usually they they don't have that fly sheet on, that's
No.
an inquisities for the report.
What I think it, what makes it good erm, is that so we could er lift the paper out and
Yeah, once again so dingy grey means
No, I 'll that, we 'll just type it in again.
But I 'll take the originals cos it's on there before.
Aha.
So we 'll copy that, or we 'll have to change it to survey manager, this one anyway.
And I think when it says notes for supervisor, we can just put manager down there.
And
Manager
,
and, yeah.
Quite isn't it?
Yes.
E Any driver over twenty five plus the two name yes.
Couldn't you manage to get?
Well you see that's
Erm
It's er and it's er
What's your wife's name?
Er no,
Okay.
the car, it's thirteen ninety five eleven.
Okay.
You mean a?
Yeah.
er he doesn't think he 's.
What have you got?
Ay?
I crossed it out because I.
And it doesn't.
I thought that was okay, what you'd done?
I crossed it out because I thought it was gon na say cos I thought it said, survey managers are instructed to work at all times
equal to supervisor so I crossed that out and then I realised that it said intervene.
Erm well no, no.
Oh!
Thought it would.
Yes.
We 'll have a few reports to do next week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
. Thank you, bye bye! du n no what's going on after those files!
Du n no what.
got all the flash gear and the policemen were fined two hundred pound
Well
and as long as I reply
they can't do anything.
they in a
No.
round about four hundred
Yeah well there's
so I stayed where I was.
This year their policy's has and Direct Line have sent me a quote for two hundred.
That's er Di diddle di dee dee dee dee der isn't it?
Er
Direct Line
that was, that was.
Oh.
Which one was that?
You know, with the little car jumping up?
Something Direct.
Yeah.
I thought it was called that.
It's not Direct Line it's something Direct.
Yeah but First Direct
That's it.
Them.
Is it?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I don't make a habit of admitting to it.
Why ever not?
Hello!
No, I 'm not worried I 'm got something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How long have you known him?
Yeah.
He sent me er to renew his
What?
and some
So what do you do?
I 'll take the
Pleasure.
Er er er!
Okay that's fine.
Then we 'll have a.
Okay.
G
Okay, yeah great!
Yeah, I 'll just ask him, and that is er what, all the red ones have to be used for now?
Ah?
Or do we send them to Mike?
I've done this before.
Oh we don't?
Have you?
Oh!
Right, okay then.
I 'll put them back onto your phone.
Bloody hell!
Ay!
What a!
Right, thanks mate!
He's gon na sell me out and tell you all the Kirby ones.
.
Pardon?
.
Yeah, number forty seven.
Aye!
Aye!
To the
Try and avoid him.
Yeah,.
Are you alright?
No,.
Mhm.
Probably went down too much.
Down?
Down.
about eighty.
There's one er,
I think she's right.
We 'll now try
Oh yeah.
No difficulty.
Go back and let me but, yeah, I mean that's the idea.
The idea is that's the one tha that's generally.
Well yes it 's.
That
they like to mend it.
It's not there
Don't want.
No, you're alright.
I don't see that any more.
Then erm
Ah!
That's
better.
We should draw a.
Mm.
Oh, that, that's just er that was er quite reasonable
Yeah.
really.
Yeah, oh yeah!
Cos they ain't gon na get none!
I mean, it's a bit easier with, cos everyone's done it before and you all know what you're doing.
Mm.
Have to be a like a hawk on mine!
Mm!
Yes,.
Well no it's erm the same as and the stuff.
It's er,.
What's his first name?
.
And is he Liverpool?
Is he?
Chester?
Do it yourself!
This ain't mine!
I know you!
bee um bum bum.
You look tired Tine
erm put it on there..
Well jus haven't you got enough to be getting?
Well, so that's erm
, hello!
Hi!
Sorry?
Yeah.
Monday?
Give us a clue Billy?
Oh!
No I didn't.
Oh well done!
Well done!
What you getting?
Brand new?
Well?
Mhm.
Mhm.
Well congratulations!
Er I can't say.
No!
Are you coming back?
Erm, yes and no.
No, er it's not closed it's left open.
Well I think everyone's finished anyway.
Is it?
Ha!
Is it?
Mhm.
So have you got a nice to go with this promotion?
Mhm.
Oh God!
Alright.
Mm.
Where's your two front teeth?
Sorry!
Mhm, course it does.
Are they going to increase your wage a after the recession?
You got a clause saying that?
Well you wan na get it in writing!
Well I would try and get something to that effect in writing.
Yeah!
Yeah.
Where are the other?
You shouldn't have given it!
Mhm.
Yeah.
Mhm.
Mhm.
You are kidding!
Mhm.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Why?
What have you done?
Ah, I see!
No.
Why? mm, possibly now.
You sound different.
To rest.
No news of him at all?
Aha.
Get out!
It's last years.
I just.
That's alright.
Just don't have an accident!
Right, that's a good job done there!
Does that mean I got ta phone Judge cap in hand?
Well it could be.
I 'll see him
Wait until I've seen if Will's got his.
Well I 'll see if I can the te telly I must have a.
Well if Will hasn't got his it means they haven't been issued.
I think they were, were.
I 'll see er I 'll see to.
Have you sent a letter of confirmation to Mr?
No.
That's on the list here.
Good morning!
Can I speak to please?
I 'll ring him today and tell him.
Mhm.
And er he can wait if you haven't done
Hello, is that Tammy?
no
Hi!,
hi, it's Rob from the Moore office.
Erm I 'm of er I 'm been asked your
Does he have to give him a quote before you
insurance er
ay?
certificate.
Does he have to give you a quote?
No, cos we know his
The R A C book
Yes.
of.
What about the er
Not got a as well.
certificate and it's last year.
We 'll know more about er, to it.
Yeah, I 'm sure I 'm I've
Okay.
I've got ta try and do my figures.
I think, I 'm fairly sure you've er sent me one previously.
Yeah, if you could send me I'd appreciate it.
Oh no!
Okay?
Lovely, thanks a Tammy, yeah, and you.
bye bye!
Tell Jan there's one on the way.
Okay.
Right.
See if there's a letter on the file.
Mhm.
And if there is read through it and see the you know, li and then Peter will.
Okay.
Actually I mean my mammy's not very good.
I can imagine them doing it now for all it's worth.
The, did they have a piece and you cut off the bottom?
No.
No, they had to have it with them at on the
That were just the temporary passes for the motorway that we had to return to department.
Er,.
Yeah.
Right, well I 'm sure
Yeah.
they put four two nine.
Forty two pound twenty nine.
Well when they put they put sixty five staff before the surveys?
That's still four two nine six that in n it?
And it's still four two nine six.
Well I du n no.
Four two nine six.
But the report's called six three five.
.
I've got ta do the books for those files on Sunday so I 'll, I've had to leave
No.
it till then.
Yeah, smashing!
That'd make more sense wouldn't it?
Cos I 'm going through the document, er
Er
documents issues.
Down what?
Documents erm, from first of January this year.
So, required.
I 'll put that on this slip of paper.
Oh!
Okay then.
And there oh!
I want to see it's bloody silly!
So these agree?
I think we should have somebody in here you see.
Mhm.
Erm so, put on here since January.
Okay.
So that re, will just be a couple of reports and something
Right.
You going home now?
Alright?
Yep.
So that that's of erm as big a task as we'd really like to.
Yeah.
This one.
Hi Bob!
I need to know as soon as possible now whether we can do these surveys or not so I can fill the policies in.
So as soon as you can let us know, I'd be grateful.
I hate that!
I 'll phone you Thursday night all night,.
Who Bob?
He's going to Yeah.
Mm.
It's three quarters of an hour when I was at mum 's.
Yeah, it's annoying when they say they're gon na ring isn't it?
I mean, er, I've got this Jean hanging on.
Mm.
She 'll be there won't she?
She's dangling!
dangling, ay?
I just can't go ho oh oh mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm.
Bless you!
Oh!
Actually Jim erm
Mm.
we've got a feller that we use for, he's seventy odd!
George.
George.
Why?
Well this feller that rung me was sixty three.
Ah, these agencies use them to.
So!
No, we wo, we were just saying like that it's a shame because like maybe some of them have been made redundant or
Oh I see!
Yeah.
Yeah.
and Bev was saying do you get more men than women?
And I said, well it used to be
Normally.
But it's all women!
More women.
Well, yeah it was.
But now more and more maybe cos they're taking early retirement or getting made redundant I mean it's the fellers isn't it?
Yes.
So that's not going?
Get them go and look at
You what Jan?
You know when we're going to look at the four forty five I may as well get book four two nine six seven.
Or, perhaps we could just think of something between us.
Oh yeah, I don't see why not.
I 'm sure we could er put our heads together and come up with something.
Mm, heaven!
Ah!
Now this Miss.
What's Mr like to get hold of these days, during the day?
Er afternoon's dodgy Morning's alright.
Cheers.
Have you got an address close to it?
Yep.
Oh I've knocked it off.
Some something better than erm the Daniel one.
Did you hear about that?
Permanent
No.
letters.
Have you got you want a.
Yeah.
I, I've got these letters out of here to be honest.
It's almost on one.
Mhm.
And er get her the confirmation one she wants.
And erm yeah that's it.
Put all that on for the attention of Mr Ray
I had a phone call from so she said to me come down to the admin, so I went down and she'd opened the letter and give it back to us.
The post.
What a stupid
So I took it home and stuck it under the door.
And have we done anything?
No.
Well it had department erm Frank
And Chris the tomboy!
that address and for the attention of Mr Ray And it arrived back to us!
Oh this chair.
Can I copy from?
No you bloody can't copy!
God you're so cheeky, you!
I 'm not gon na have them going to Ormskirk Mm.
Mm!
What a cheeky, young, person!
You copy the ones from to these didn't you?
I did not!
Those are, pull out of my own head those are!
No!
Did actually.
Eighty?
Yeah.
Mm mm mm, mm mm mm mm.
Don't keep them all in my feet!
I do.
Wilf is going to be, Sergeant.
Mm.
You just wanted write his name didn't you?
Well I suppose so really.
But if you know them why should you put Dear sir?
Well it's true.
I see what you mean.
Does seem a bit silly doesn't it?
Here, that's in n it?
Just, I don't believe my luck!.
What?
Oh!
Put your phone down.
Sorry mum, I thought you you was out still.
Oh!
You all set then?
Dad pack all his gear did he?
Mhm.
Mhm.
Good stuff!
And here.
Yeah.
Quite an expanse of blue sky.
Well.
Yeah.
Oh yeah!
Mhm.
Can't be bad!
They rain all the time.
Mhm.
Mhm.
Yeah.
Mhm.
Been a busy little bee.
Mhm.
And you mum I've got yeah, will do erm I've forgotten what I was gon na say now.
Oh Pat phoned, she does want Jenny to baby-sit.
Okay.
Okay.
m
